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Thread: Two weeks of texting and no talk of second date?

  1. #1
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    Two weeks of texting and no talk of second date?

    We have been talking since late May. We're both 22. We have the same humor/personality and also going through the same situation. We met about two weeks ago and hung for 5 hours. It was so fun. I was being myself and he made me laugh a lot. After the mall closed, we went to a park. I asked him a lot of questions. He said that he likes me, he likes our vibe, and im hilarious. BUT what scared me is he kept saying he doesn’t know if I can handle him, that he may be too much for me. I told him I was celibate btw and he said he was indifferent to it. Then…we kissed and made out. He also mentioned that he would communicate soon what we are.

    Btw, I didn’t say I liked him back even though I do. And I regret not asking what does he want between us. I wanted to tell him I want to make sure we’re on the same page. I’m looking for something exclusive. When I asked when we would see again, he said with due time, but he’ll see me again. I should let him initiate right? It will be two weeks on Thursday since I saw him. We’ve been texting since. I've been keeping distance, but he mostly hits me up first.

    And the thing with him is he replies late sometimes or ignores. He’s been single for 6 months after being in a long distance for a year. I found his Twitter after we hung out (I asked him for him it, but he brushed it off. Guessing he didn’t want me to see what he posts. Like he posted “I need something… I know what I need now 😈” I’m guessing he found someone to hook up with.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    If this guy liked you he'd be asking you out.
    Instead he prefers the electronic attention and feeding you breadcrumbs.

    Have you been celibate or do you practice celibacy? His stating that you couldn't handle him could suggest he sees himself as being very sexual. (in the context in which you shared your discussion with him)

    If you are indeed celibate, then you aren't compatible.

    You seem like a very nice person and he likes you enough to chat with you but probably not enough to date you.

    This doesn't mean you should change your value. You should just hold out for someone that agrees with it.

    I am sorry. Anything other than a yes, is a no.

  3. #3
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    Two weeks is due time.

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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    If this guy liked you he'd be asking you out.
    Instead he prefers the electronic attention and feeding you breadcrumbs.

    Have you been celibate or do you practice celibacy? His stating that you couldn't handle him could suggest he sees himself as being very sexual. (in the context in which you shared your discussion with him)

    If you are indeed celibate, then you aren't compatible.

    You seem like a very nice person and he likes you enough to chat with you but probably not enough to date you.

    This doesn't mean you should change your value. You should just hold out for someone that agrees with it.

    I am sorry. Anything other than a yes, is a no.
    Yeah I'm a virgin. Told him until I'm in a committed and trusting relationship.
    And should I just stop replying to his texts? Like I sent him a message last night and still nothing. I just want to distance myself.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I think saying you are celibate may be the problem.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    I think saying you are celibate may be the problem.
    Well. It's not a problem and I'd be careful telling her so.
    It's just a difference. Neither right or wrong. Just different.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Should you respond? That's up to you. If you want to continue communicating with him knowing the likelihood that it won't go any further, then go ahead.
    If you feel any sense of disappointment, then just stop responding or dial it back until it fades.
    Or, tell him that you sense that the two you are looking for something entirely different. Wish him and well and say goodbye.

  9. #8
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    He says he's indifferent to your celibacy, but I would bet any money he is not.

    This was his way of letting you know that he probably doesn't see you as a compatible match: "he kept saying he doesn’t know if I can handle him, that he may be too much for me."

    If he wanted to see you again, he would have let you know by now. I think you are going to be better off finding a guy who doesn't preface everything with the bit I bolded above.

  10. #9
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    Maybe it is a language barrier thing. but to me, stating that one is "celibate" has a completely different vibe from stating one is a "virgin."

    Celibacy implies a lifestyle.

    Virginity just means you have not been intimate -- yet.

    So, which is it? Was this guy you've known all of 2 months and change aware of what your situation is?

    I'd say that it is fair to say that in such a short period of time that he might have been put off about your stance (which is unclear) more than he let on.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by jimthzz
    Maybe it is a language barrier thing. but to me, stating that one is "celibate" has a completely different vibe from stating one is a "virgin."

    Celibacy implies a lifestyle.

    Virginity just means you have not been intimate -- yet.

    So, which is it? Was this guy you've known all of 2 months and change aware of what your situation is?

    I'd say that it is fair to say that in such a short period of time that he might have been put off about your stance (which is unclear) more than he let on.
    Meant to say virginity. But he asked my experiences and I told him. I've been in two serious relationships and dated in between.

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