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Thread: Went out to dinner and did not go well

  1. #1
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    Went out to dinner and did not go well

    My ex gf and I broke up 2 in half months, and were in no contact for 2 months, even though she was veiwing all my stories on IG ect. Kind of keeping tabs. Well last week I reached out to her, and we started texting back and forth for 4 days. And had some really conversations about us and our relationship. Both owning up to our flaws and realizing after reflecting for 2 months how I hurt her feelings at times with out realize it. Example: not giving her enough complaints, coming home from work grumpy every once in awhile, or not wanting to cuddle on the couch. I was a very loving and caring guy for her but I do understand she wanted to feel more loved and wanted... AT TIMES this was not a everyday thing.

    Anyways our talks went good and she wanted to meet for dinner to talk about the getting back together and taking steps. but had to wait because she was going out of town. She called me before she left promising that she really wants to meet up and hopes i was meaning everything i was telling her. She said she would call or text when she was back which was 4 days. Well to my surprise I got a text from her the very next day saying "I think I love and been thinking about you today... great right? Well the next 3 days she went cold and fell off the map but still wanted to do dinner.

    We met for dinner last night, and well we hugged for a long time when we first saw eachother and couldnt stop smiling at each other, almost kissed but I didn't fully go for it because I didnt want to come off to string to soon. As we talked she said I dont see us getting back to how we were before and I'm really sorry that this talk didnt go the way you wanted it, and i feel i made everything worse by meeting.
    Which was so weird to me because when we were texting last week she was implying without saying directly that she wanted to give us another chance, then says she loves me, facetimes me... then bam cold. And at dinner I feel like she didnt even give us a thought

    So yeah... guess its time to finally move on

  2. #2
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    Sorry about that. It sounds like she was missing the companionship and hoping she could get back the feelings but they didn't stick. Wanting a thing to be true doesn't make it so. A bit rough for her to say "sorry it didn't go how you wanted" when really... it didn't go how she wanted either. She could have at least owned up to the truth of it, but she's not being honest with herself, which seems pretty common in these cases.

    Go TRULY no contact. How did you know she was checking up on your instagram if you were no contact? Block/hide her from all these services so you don't get any reminders.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Breakups are complicated and often not a straight line.
    No doubt there are things about you she loves and misses. But ultimately there wasn't enough to keep this going. That's why you got the mixed messages. She's probably been struggling with the decision for quite sometime.
    I am sorry. I can sense your disappointment.
    At least you know now. Sometimes wonder 'what if' is more difficult.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    If I didn't know any better I'd say she wanted a free meal (if you were the one that paid). At the heart of it, I think she's just confused and unsure about you and that's reason for you to move on. Continuing to run up against this wall is not good or healthy for you. You're right: she shouldn't have met up with you or given you false hope with those text messages. I felt it coming because of the words you typed above. In other words, she sounded very wishy washy. Who's says "great, right?" after declaring they "think" they love someone. That has all wrong written all over it.

    Take this with a pinch of salt, as some experience your way and pull yourself together. Things will get better in time. I don't think you should keep in contact with her and take her off your social media.

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    I was typing really fast and didn’t proof read.. haha. So she said “I think I love you and have been thinking about you today” ... great right well I was wrong because she went cold. She didn’t say great right. But still... think. Just very confusing with all the mixed signals I got because she was into one day, cold the next. But still followed through with dinner

  7. 07-12-2019, 01:32 AM

  8. #6
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    My best guess would be that she's been kind of dating someone, it went a little cold and she came to you for attention and company. And when it warmed back up, she left you in the cold.

  9. #7
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Sorry Anon*

    I will say though, if I had a dollar for every time I've seen this happen over the years I could buy a nice home on the river*

    Breakups suck....that is all*

  10. #8
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AnonymousQ
    I was typing really fast and didn’t proof read.. haha. So she said “I think I love you and have been thinking about you today” ... great right well I was wrong because she went cold. She didn’t say great right. But still... think. Just very confusing with all the mixed signals I got because she was into one day, cold the next. But still followed through with dinner
    Oh I see. Sorry I misunderstood. I agree with you...a bit shady. I'd let it go and don't become bitter over this or expect others to behave this way. I think you should spend more time with more positive and less confusing people. Enjoy your interests and go out and meet new people.


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