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Thread: I can't find anyone

  1. #1
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    I can't find anyone

    Hello people! There were many guys that I liked, but it seems that they didn't like me. Maybe I am wrong with that conclusion, but I always end up as friend or acquaintance with the guy I like. I am not ugly, people even say I'm pretty, I'm studying on good university, but I just can't make connection with people from my social circle and find boyfriend. I am a bit shy and not sure how to act around someone I like. It is quite possible that I seem unapproachable, but I just don't know what I am doing wrong. I have never had serious relationship and this situation annoys me so much. I wonder will I ever find anyone for me.

  2. #2
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    My suggestion -which I've made many times but it's especially appropriate in your age group and since you say you are shy, etc - volunteer backstage at a local community or church theater - build sets or paint or help with costumes, whatever - it's a great way to meet people in a natural way and it does tend to attract more introverted people who are creative/like to work with their hands. And often younger people like yourself. You must get outside your social circle if you want to meet more people IMO.

  3. #3
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    Thanks for advice, but I think I already meet a lot of people. The problem is I don't know how to get closer to them after I meet them. Even if I succeed in that, I make a friend from someone I like. I guess it should come naturally, but it is not coming. :(

  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by arani
    Thanks for advice, but I think I already meet a lot of people. The problem is I don't know how to get closer to them after I meet them. Even if I succeed in that, I make a friend from someone I like. I guess it should come naturally, but it is not coming. :(
    No, it's not my point at all. My point is that if you meet people in the context of a shared activity like building sets for a play or show, that shared activity helps with the bonding process, helps with developing a stronger connection. Joining a book club is another way. Meeting people who go to the same school is something in common but it's much more general -when you work side by side with someone or do an activity together the connection grows much more naturally and organically. Sure for some people it comes more naturally than others -it's easier. For those for whom it is harder -like for you -shared activities make it much easier. It's not about just meeting "lots of people".

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I was once you long ago. I never had a date in my life throughout my school years such as junior HS, HS and even college. I was very busy. I worked a lot during my HS years, worked night shift full time while enrolled in college by day plus financially supported my widowed mother and younger siblings. I didn't have time for a social life whatsoever!

    I didn't think anyone liked me nor was attracted to me either. I accepted the fact that I would end up a spinster.

    I went on a few dates after college. Sigh. Those guys were duds along the way. They were ok but not the type of men I would want a relationship with nor marry, heaven forbid. They had red flags and were not up to snuff. They weren't good enough.

    Then something happened. I switched to a day shift job with mainstream people, concentrated on my career, became upwardly mobile and before I knew it I was rubbing elbows with other successful people at cocktail parties. I had arrived. Turns out that others were doing the same thing I was. They too were too busy climbing the ladder and when it came time to finally become evenly yoked, there I was and there they were! Birds of a feather flock together. Success marries success. This is what happened to me.

    Fastforward. Now I'm happily married with 2 great sons.

    Concentrate on yourself and be on the fast track with your career. Then it's like bees to honey. You won't even have to try. People are attracted to self confident go getters. You'll have that automatic draw without even trying.

    I worked hard, kept my nose to the grindstone, worked out, had my act together and didn't look back. I stopped thinking about others and before I knew it, I met the right man because I was at the right place at the right time. This can happen to you, too. Don't give up hope!

    Focus on yourself, succeed, prosper and you will be pushing through an open door.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You need to get over this crush on the guy whose city you moved to hoping to be more than friends. Get on dating apps and start socializing more in your new city. It's been months and you're still claiming you can't meet anyone and hoping this guy likes you back.
    Originally Posted by arani
    I don't know how to act when I meet him because I will meet him for sure from time to time.
    I also feel like I will never find anyone for me.

  8. #7
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    You are in college, so you are at an age where there is still a LOT of time! Concentrate on building solid relationships and don't go into each one like you are going to date the person. Work on yourself, so, Like Cherylyn said, you can be confident. That will attract a LOT of men!

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by arani
    Hello people! There were many guys that I liked, but it seems that they didn't like me. Maybe I am wrong with that conclusion, but I always end up as friend or acquaintance with the guy I like. I am not ugly, people even say I'm pretty, I'm studying on good university, but I just can't make connection with people from my social circle and find boyfriend. I am a bit shy and not sure how to act around someone I like. It is quite possible that I seem unapproachable, but I just don't know what I am doing wrong. I have never had serious relationship and this situation annoys me so much. I wonder will I ever find anyone for me.
    Meeting a compatible person is difficult. Don't make the mistake and think there's something wrong with you. It just takes time.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    I was once you long ago. I never had a date in my life throughout my school years such as junior HS, HS and even college. I was very busy. I worked a lot during my HS years, worked night shift full time while enrolled in college by day plus financially supported my widowed mother and younger siblings. I didn't have time for a social life whatsoever!

    I didn't think anyone liked me nor was attracted to me either. I accepted the fact that I would end up a spinster.

    I went on a few dates after college. Sigh. Those guys were duds along the way. They were ok but not the type of men I would want a relationship with nor marry, heaven forbid. They had red flags and were not up to snuff. They weren't good enough.

    Then something happened. I switched to a day shift job with mainstream people, concentrated on my career, became upwardly mobile and before I knew it I was rubbing elbows with other successful people at cocktail parties. I had arrived. Turns out that others were doing the same thing I was. They too were too busy climbing the ladder and when it came time to finally become evenly yoked, there I was and there they were! Birds of a feather flock together. Success marries success. This is what happened to me.

    Fastforward. Now I'm happily married with 2 great sons.

    Concentrate on yourself and be on the fast track with your career. Then it's like bees to honey. You won't even have to try. People are attracted to self confident go getters. You'll have that automatic draw without even trying.

    I worked hard, kept my nose to the grindstone, worked out, had my act together and didn't look back. I stopped thinking about others and before I knew it, I met the right man because I was at the right place at the right time. This can happen to you, too. Don't give up hope!

    Focus on yourself, succeed, prosper and you will be pushing through an open door.
    Awww, this gives me hope too. Thanks for posting this.


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