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Thread: Need advice about my 9 year old daughter

  1. #21
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by St0113
    I have involved child services, presented them with everything I put in my post. They agree that there are red flags but don't seem overly concerned and have said that the kids have not disclosed anything that concerns them enough to keep them away from him. I have spoken with a lawyer about what steps I can take, and she informed me that while I do not need his consent to seek counselling for her that most counsellors will refuse to see a child without both parents consent. I reached out to mental health services in my area and this is the issue I ran into. He refused to consent and they would not book her an appointment. The only other option is to apply for a court order for counselling, which is something I have spoken to my lawyer about. I guess i posted here because I don't get the feeling that this is being taken seriously by child services and I wasn't sure if I was reading into things too much. I thought if other people see this the way I'm seeing it, then why aren't childrens' services? I do realize the way my post may have come across as simply seeking validation from strangers on the internet without taking any steps to protect her.
    OP it sounds like you are involving all of the right people... I agree itís frustrating that itís so difficult to get help for kids when they need it, I see it all the time, kids waiting for months to see a therapist etc... keep advocating and pushing and go up the chain if you need to... donít give up as the squeaky wheel usually does get the grease in these situations.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    In Canada Gravol (Dramamine in the US) is over the counter and used for nausea, motion sickness, etc. What was he using it for? It is not illegal, nor a narcotic nor a prescription. So that fact that a parent gives this to a child is not a problem per se. The issue is why was he administering it? For the sedative effect? Unfortunately all things you can't prove. Stop communicating with him and get a lawyer.

    Repeatedly calling CPS with undocumented, unsubstantiated complaints makes you look like the unstable harassing parent, not him. It's bizarre you haven't taken your daughter to a doctor or child psychologist if you are concerned about her. It's weird you claim you "can't" take your own child to a pediatrician/psychologist. It's odd you won't go to court or a lawyer to file for a custody change. In fact, it's odd you seem to do nothing for your child and are solely focused on hating your ex. Get yourself focused on your child not using cps, cops, to create chaos.
    Originally Posted by St0113
    I showed it to the Child services case worker she said "well it looks like he's not giving it anymore" and left it at that.

  3. #23
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    ďI do not need his consent to seek counselling for her that most counsellors will refuse to see a child without both parents consentĒ

    That is absolute horse s**t!
    No counsellor would request both parents consent if one parent claimed the other was abusing. You know that, I know that, everyone knows that!!!

    What exactly is your issue with your ex? Why are you filled with anger against him? Why can you not let it go?

    This does not sound like child abuse to me on the fatherís part at all.

    You have done nothing to help your child (all the excuses )but done everything to get revenge on your ex???

  4. #24
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    In Canada Gravol (Dramamine in the US) is over the counter and used for nausea, motion sickness, etc. What was he using it for? It is not illegal, nor a narcotic nor a prescription. So that fact that a parent gives this to a child is not a problem per se. The issue is why was he administering it? For the sedative effect? Unfortunately all things you can't prove. Stop communicating with him and get a lawyer.

    Repeatedly calling CPS with undocumented, unsubstantiated complaints makes you look like the unstable harassing parent, not him. It's bizarre you haven't taken your daughter to a doctor or child psychologist if you are concerned about her. It's weird you claim you "can't" take your own child to a pediatrician/psychologist. It's odd you won't go to court or a lawyer to file for a custody change. In fact, it's odd you seem to do nothing for your child and are solely focused on hating your ex. Get yourself focused on your child not using cps, cops, to create chaos.
    Wow... just googled it youíre right, you also donít need a prescription, which would explain child services dismissal...

    I know everyone Ďhas a friendí who was treated wrong by the courts or child services or whatever, I have a friend too, her husbands ex wife filed a false report with child services and even though there was absolutely no evidence child services investigated the report. They arenít just sitting behind a desk like Gods dismissing parents, they are required by law to investigate alleged abuse, or they can and should be reported.

    Iím not going to lie, a lot of this isnít adding up and sounds very biased, but I think parents advocating for their children is one of the important things a parent is responsible for, so dig deep, if you are truly in fear for your child keep going get her help,.

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  6. #25
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    This is your child. Pound down the door at Children's services if you have to! What your ex-husband is doing is NOT OK! It is abusive in one way or another and your daughter is showing MANY signs of manipulation and abuse.

    Start by contacting your attorney. They will tell you what to do next. Call them TODAY. This is your child!

  7. #26
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    "Says he feels a connection with her like he never had with another human being, that I wonít understand and he wonít explain it to me

    Says she is just such a beautiful person, that he ďsees people for who they are, whether theyíre his child or notĒ says that I take her for granted and do not appreciate just how amazing she is"

    This section made me feel weird. I think you need to call someone and get professional help because this isn't normal behavior for a father and daughter. When someone is abusing another person they make HUGE attempts to isolate that person so they won't feel confident enough to report. If he's sexually abusing her he could be painting you in a terrible light to gain control because of that she could be going through this process where she has to choose the lesser evil.

    It sounds like he is doing something to her that is making her confused and because she's young, she has no way of processing this which means anger and misbehaving.

    You're her mother. There is NO connection he could have with her that wouldn't translate to you unless it's something dark. The whole "whether she's my child or not" makes me feel like he's subtlety justifying something.

    Without making a scene you should anonymously report this or have a family friend do it. It wouldn't hurt to do some kind of investigation, there are specialists she can talk to and they're trained to pull this kind of information out of the child without making the kid uncomfortable or scared. You need to know the truth...

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