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Thread: Just found out my dad has dementia

  1. #1
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Just found out my dad has dementia

    My aunt called me to say my dad had another TIA during his dialysis . ( his 11th) . They have done cognitive assessments and found heís in the early stages of dementia . And many of you know what an evil horrible parent he was and my aunt tells me that my brother and I need to step up because we are his kids sheís only his sister even though she is his executor . Apparently he needs lifeline and she wants us to pay for it because he canít . I know heís my dad but Iím outraged this is a person that didnít even feed me and had his violent Paedophile brother in our life .

    I know heís my dad and Iíll probably pay for it but I am just so outraged right now . I remember having to walk around the street looking for change to eat or feed my brother and I need to pay for his health needs? Wth

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    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    He's your dad but that does not obligate you to do anything for him, given the terrible treatment you endured because of him.

    Family bonds do not give license for continued abuse or handouts "because we are related". Sorry, but when a family member abuses another, all that familial goodwill is gone. And it should be! Because otherwise bad family members could keep abusing and using.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Butterfly~Wrists's Avatar
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    Yeah no. He and her have no right to demand anything. I really hope you don't pay and your brother doesn't either. He's caused you a lifelong illness he deserves this. Grr

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    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Does he live alone? If so, he probably needs to go to a nursing home. Is that an option?

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    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    What happens if you just refuse? Will someone else pony up? Govt will pay out?

    Can he just go into some home and the govt will pay for it?

    Again, I don't think you should pay a dime towards this abuser.

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Yes, he does live alone. He canít afford a thing. He lives below poverty in city housing.
    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    Does he live alone? If so, he probably needs to go to a nursing home. Is that an option?

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I am just emotionally dead right now. I started my holidays and right on cue my aunt called to lay this on me. She even mentioned that she knew my holidays started . And she hasnít called me in two years and the only time she calls me is to lay crap on me all the time .

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    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    My mother was abusive in as many ways as you can think of and there's no way I'd have paid for any care for her because of that. You dont have to pay for your father and who the hell is your aunt to tell you what to do? Abusers dont deserve kind treatment by the ones they abused when their life takes a turn for the worse.

  10. #9
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    If he has dementia, he shouldn't be living alone. Tell your aunt to put him in a government run nursing home, and then he won't need the lifeline.

  11. #10
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    He is just starting the dementia journey and likely wonít live it long anyway he has been on dialysis almost 5 years his diabetes and renal failure will kill him long before dementia will . The waitlist for a government home he would be dead long before he got in it .
    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    If he has dementia, he shouldn't be living alone. Tell your aunt to put him in a government run nursing home, and then he won't need the lifeline.

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