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Thread: How to deal with a grieving man

  1. #21
    Hi there, having experienced the grief from losing both my parents and all four of my grandparents, I can share with you that depending on the closeness of the relationship to the individual, each loss affects you differently. And it isnít always easy to know what to say or do for them. I am so sorry that your friend is going through such a sorrowful time.

    One way that I support my friends is to pray for themÖand with them. It provides the peace that I alone am incapable of giving. I donít know if he would pray with you or not. And for me, receiving a nice card or note to say that I am being thought of helps to bring a smile to my face. Another way to help is to offer to bring the family a meal or you could send them some flowers; oftentimes they just donít know what they need or how to express it. These may be a comfort to your friend and his family, especially if he is with them.

    I am sure thinking of you and praying for him and his family.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    If it's the same guy, it seems like the same game.

    But if it's not, I don't see anything suspect about being preoccupied with his family and the impending loss of his grandmother. Depending how close and dynamic of the family, it's very possible.

    Not sure why everyone thinks it's a lame excuse. I pretty much lost 7 weeks with my mothers illness, death and funeral arrangements. I get this is his grandmother. It's not impossible for him to be tied up for a couple of weeks with family.

    -that is IF it's a different guy than the one before.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    If it's the same guy, it seems like the same game.

    But if it's not, I don't see anything suspect about being preoccupied with his family and the impending loss of his grandmother. Depending how close and dynamic of the family, it's very possible.

    Not sure why everyone thinks it's a lame excuse. I pretty much lost 7 weeks with my mothers illness, death and funeral arrangements. I get this is his grandmother. It's not impossible for him to be tied up for a couple of weeks with family.

    -that is IF it's a different guy than the one before.
    I hear ya reinvent, I lost much longer than that after the loss of my mom and dad. I lost literally months, and my boyfriend at the time was a rock for me during that time.

    What I found odd was that he was telling the OP he would have no time to spend with her, talking about his granny's wake and funeral, before she has even died. Or even knowing for sure when she would die.

    And then saying things like it felt "weird" that she had not contacted him all day (subtle guilt trip?), when he could have easily contacted her, letting her know he was in hospital visiting his grandmother, assuming that is where he actually was.

    There were other things too but those were the main ones and all things combined, something just sounds very off to me.

    JMO.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 07-10-2019 at 09:24 PM.

  4. #24
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    And heck if it is a different guy, we don't even know for sure if they've met in person yet. She mentioned "hanging out" but we don't know if that means actual in person dates or interacting on line. The lines are really blurry about that.

    I have asked her but she has not returned to answer.

    I could be wrong of course, but the whole thing just sounds very odd. My spiny senses and all that.

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  6. #25
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    The guy in the previous post, she only met 6 weeks ago and 2 weeks ago considered how to end it.

    If this is a new guy , that would mean she knows him less than 2 weeks.

    Either way, she shouldnít be his ďsupportĒ

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