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Thread: When a man withdraws...?

  1. #21
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    I think you’ve gotten all the good advice you need - I just wanted to jump on the bandwagon about the 3-month mark and the 1-year mark and throw in the 6-month mark. Those seem to be the 3 “stops” in a relationship where things get re-evaluated. Those points always make me a bit nervous these days... lol!

    Also, I agree that a blunt “Hey! I’m sorry but I don’t think this is working for me” would be a lot more kind. I don’t think the “slow fade” or “ghost” is “letting someone down easy” at all! It throws you into a state of anxiety and worry and over-analysis... Simply telling you what the deal is, IMO, is a MUCH easier “let down” in my books. At least you don’t have to wonder - you can just move on. Anyways... I hate that... sorry you are going through this...

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by RedDress

    Also, I agree that a blunt “Hey! I’m sorry but I don’t think this is working for me” would be a lot more kind.
    I agree but it's possible the guy doesn't know what he wants, he's "uncertain" as John Gray refers to it; as some of us have been saying, he needs the space to re-evaluate things, decide what he wants to happen and where he wants things to go.

    That is why IMO he's not giving her a straight answer and instead of just leaving him alone, she continues to hound him for answers, which only serves to push him further away from knowing what he wants.

    I could be wrong, guy could simply be a lame-a$$. But hell if he was so sure he wanted things to end, it's quite easy to either not respond at all or tell her in 5 words or less it's not working for him. Easy peasy especially through text!

    Instead, he gives excuses that he's not feeling well and has got her "on hold" until he decides.

    Up to her whether or not that's okay with her.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    I agree but it's possible the guy doesn't know what he wants, he's "uncertain" as John Gray refers to it; as some of us have been saying, he needs the space to re-evaluate things, decide what he wants to happen and where he wants things to go.

    That is why IMO he's not giving her a straight answer and instead of just leaving him alone, she continues to hound him for answers, which only serves to push him further away from knowing what he wants.
    Just take him for his word, that he doesn't know.
    Push someone who's in the state to make up their mind and you'll likely not get the answer you're hoping for.
    Most of all, don't get mixed up with someone who's easily mixed up about where they stand with you.
    If someone likes you, you'll know it and you won't be here questioning it.
    He's willing to risk losing you. . That's what you should pay attention to. Your answer is probably there.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    3 months mostly. That's when the newness wears off
    Yes, exactly. At 3 months, it's not new anymore and the realities start setting in on whether this person is someone you want to actually be with in a relationship or not.

    Loads of relationships have a hard time making it past 3 months or start to fade not long after.

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  6. #25
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Under review.

  7. #26
    Administrator kamurj's Avatar
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    Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.

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