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Thread: Dealing with anxiety, depression and break up? Advice please

  1. #1
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    Dealing with anxiety, depression and break up? Advice please

    I am going through quite a lot and have posted on here before. Most responses are insightful and have helped me.

    I feel however I am struggling mentally, while seeking help from my GP, anti depressants are not something I want to go back on to.

    I went through a difficult break up and it has effected me after more than I thought. Right now Iím struggling to eat and be social and I have really cut myself off. As a result my work and relationships with family and friends are suffering. I have become majorly withdrawn and I feel like I canít get myself back on track. No matter how much I try.

    Has anyone got any coping methods for this? I feel so helpless right now. The anxiety of being alone and also somewhat still in the stage of missing my ex, who is no good for me, is hindering my recovery.

  2. #2
    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
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    When my head is full of anxiety and stress from my life, I go running. You won't believe how much better you will feel when you get yourself out there...just you and the road....some like putting the tunes on, I just like concentrating on my breathing. You will sleep a lot better too which helps heaps with stress.

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    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    How long has it been since your breakup? A lot of people go through a period like this when a relationship ends. As long as it doesn't last a lot longer than a month or two, to a certain degree, it's waiting out that initial emotional grief experience.

    My best advice would be to put as much energy into your health as you can manage. Start small. Text one friend just to talk. Eat a small meal twice a day. You don't have to be totally okay right now, but you do have a responsibility to care for yourself and to reach out for help if you need it.

    When I go through a breakup, I find it helpful to engage in what I think of as "guilty" pleasures. Reading smut or watching a goofy show, eating a food I really like, being selfish in some way. I know when you're feeling depressed, anxious, and hopeless that it is genuinely a challenge to engage. Just remember that you haven't always felt this way, you've made it through challenges and likely breakups before, and that things will get better.

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    Itís has been nearly 2 weeks. It was a difficult relationship as he was a narcissist.

    Thanks for your advice I have been trying to build up an appetite and understand Iím okay on my own. I think I built up some form of co dependency which Iím trying to break the cycle of

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  6. #5
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    Have you gotten the test results yet?

    It would be particularly important to take good care of your health.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I've just learned to accept that the discomfort and anxiety is just part of the process.
    It doesn't make it go away, but I think trying to wrestle with it makes it worse. Accepting that it's normal, at a time when everything feels otherwise is helpful too.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    I've just learned to accept that the discomfort and anxiety is just part of the process.
    It doesn't make it go away, but I think trying to wrestle with it makes it worse. Accepting that it's normal, at a time when everything feels otherwise is helpful too.
    I agree with reinvent. It's important to allow yourself to feel your pain, your anger and whatever other emotions you're feeling (versus burying or suppressing them), as uncomfortable and painful as they are.

    Allow them to rise to the surface to be released, forever. Cry, scream, run a hundred miles, punch a bag at the gym, whatever you need to do.

    I used to write letters expressing all my anger and pain, but never send them, it's quite cathartic and helped me a lot.

    Chloe, time is your best friend right now. You will move past this eventually, I promise you!! And you will become stronger for having experienced it, I promise you that too.

    Lastly, try and refrain from labeling your ex a narcissist or any other derogatory name, this is not helpful to your healing.

    I am not saying this to make you feel worse, but you were the one who willingly chose to get involved with him again, KNOWING how destructive he was to your mental and emotional health and well being, so it's super important to take some responsibility for that, learn and grow from it.

    I am sorry you're hurting, we've all been there, I certainly have.

    Continue posting here for support and strength, this forum has been a godsend to me.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Chloej123
    Itís has been nearly 2 weeks. It was a difficult relationship as he was a narcissist.

    Thanks for your advice I have been trying to build up an appetite and understand Iím okay on my own. I think I built up some form of co dependency which Iím trying to break the cycle of
    Oh, if he was a narcissist (or gave you a reason to believe he fell into this general personality category) than my guess is he criticized you and at least some of your interests regularly. Another suggestion I have is to do an activity, engage in an interest, or wear that outfit/hairstyle he insulted/made you feel ashamed of indirectly. It's empowering to reclaim your identity outside of his opinions and cruel behavior.

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    After doing much intense research on this personality, he absolutely was. I just was not educated on such behaviour before and I myself an empath. It happened regularly, Iíve had my confidence completely knocked when I used to be so self assured and relatively happy with myself. Thank you for your response. I need to try and find the girl I used to be before I met him

  11. #10
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    Since going through all of this, Iíve actually done much research into the behaviours of them, and itís completely accurate. I had my friends telling me it all along, I just used to make excuses for his behaviour.

    I agree with the time statement. I guess because Iím so low right now, I feel like when will this rock bottom feeling end. Itís tore my confidence apart and I just feel completely overwhelmed. I hate feeling this way. Itís not who I am which is distressing me more, I feel so out of control with my feelings and life.

    I think thatís partly why Iím stressing so much and scared. Because Iíve never really felt Ďout of controlí of my feelings and mental well being this much in my life.

    But yes you are right, I did go back to him. Iím now learning the hard lesson of giving people second and third chances I should never have. I just didnít expect it to be this difficult in the after math.

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