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Fiancée mad about me not giving oral sex sometimes


User1017

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So my husband gets mad when I don’t give him oral sex sometimes.He always tells me that he always has to beg which isn’t true at all.But it makes me feel like crap because it feels like I did something wrong.Please I need advice.

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Fiancee or husband? Not that it really matters re: your question, but just odd that you referred to him as both in one short post.

 

We probably need some more info to go off of here. You say he feels he has to beg for it, but that it isn't true. What's the real problem here? Are you uncomfortable giving him more oral sex? Are you upset because he's mad and you feel like you're doing something wrong? Are you willing to have more oral sex with him (a simple fix if this is something you are okay with and that's all he's asking for)?

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Set your boundary and tell him you’ll give him oral sex when YOU feel like it...If you bend on this issue there’ll be others and soon enough you’ll be a doormat.

 

Your husband(?) will either have to adjust and respect your boundaries or find someone else he can emotionally manipulate...

 

You can both communicate and come to some compromise but him just getting angry at you is not fair and not the way to work through issues.

 

Carus*

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Are you satisfied with your sex life?

Is he meeting all of your needs?

Do you communicate about sex or just listen to his issues?

Is there any truth at all to his complaint?

Have you discussed if he would like oral from you every time?

Does he give you oral every time?

When he says “beg” for it , does he mean actually verbally beg or wishes you would do it spontaneously without him giving you some direction there?

 

Is he your fiancé or husband?

Are there communication issues elsewhere in the relationship?

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Don't marry your bf. He's already demonstrating infantile entitlement and selfishness. It sounds like you haven't been dating long enough to get past the basics such as sexual incompatibility. Bickering about bj's/oral sex sounds like nonsense teenagers who are experimenting with sex get involved in..

He doesn’t give me oral at all because he doesn’t like it.
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Oof, you need to get out of this relationship. Unless it's truly okay for something like oral sex to be unequal in the relationship (meaning you don't like receiving it genuinely) then he needs to step up too. At the very least, he should be very grateful that you service him ever.

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Maybe he's sexually frustrated in general. Try other positions. If you don't sense there's care or enough love in the relationship (consideration and love for one another), this isn't the right person for you to be marrying or spending your life with. Don't be afraid to start over and imagine a different life.

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  • 3 weeks later...

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

 

If oral is something you're not into, he should respect it. It's a fetish. It's not real sex and people live and die without doing it. If you don't want to do it, stand your ground and be blunt. However, if you're not performing on him then you shouldn't expect him to perform on you. That is fair.

 

I'm sure there's some fetishes and things he doesn't like as well, things that would be off the table because HE'S uncomfortable. That being said you're allowed to cut out things that make YOU uncomfortable.

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Also, as you're fiance him getting angry over something like this isn't a good sign. It's manipulative and if you allow this behavior to go on unchecked, next thing you know you're doing oral sex just to keep the peace.

 

Appropriate reaction for him:

 

- Him explaining what he's into and you guys talk it out to meet some compromise where your needs are met and his too. (Ex, they make sex toys that mimick oral sex and what one would feel while being on the receiving end. Sex is just a fantasy. That being said you guys can do some research and find an alternative. Theoretically, it would still be you performing "oral" sex on him)

 

Getting angry is childish and uncalled for.

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