Jump to content

What do I do ?


cristina2011

Recommended Posts

Hey guys🙂

So my ex boyfriend got a new Instagram and he send me a message saying “happy Fourth of July”. It’s been about 8 months that we haven’t talked what so ever. My old self would of replied in a heart beat. I feel like I have grown such as being able to maintain my feelings and just doing what’s best for me. I just can’t deny that my feelings for him haven’t changed at all and I know I’m dumb for that! It just sucks how my heart would want to reply but my mind said no it’s going to end well. I keep following my mind but it’s hurts. I don’t know how to explain it, after everything he has done to me how could I possible still have a happy reaction for seeing him on my messages.. maybe I’m just thinking to much into it.

Link to comment

Depending on how long or intense your relationship was, 8 months is really not a long time to be split up. Especially not if he left you and you were still in love. It took me a good few years to be over one specific ex completely. By that I mean, I was completely fine as long, as I didn’t hear from him or know what he was up to. As soon as I heard from him (at the time I didn’t know much about nc) it sent me back to questioning his motives for every single thing he would throw my way. I learned that not exposing myself physically and digitally was the absolute best thing I did for myself.

 

If you haven’t already, block him from everything so you won’t be exposed to these little signs he throws your way. Chances are he’s over it and thought to send a friendly greeting with not much thought behind it. I’ve been guilty of this myself. Reaching out to an ex, thinking enough time had passed to be on friendly terms again, only to realize that person is reading way more into it.

 

If you were completely moved on then of course there’d be no issue to send a quick happy 4th back, but it sounds like you’re perhaps hoping it’s a door that might slowly open again. Do yourself the favor and don’t respond. Block his new Instagram and keep healing.

Link to comment

Don't beat yourself up for how you feel. Emotions are just that - emotions. As you pointed out, how you feel does not have to dictate how you act moving forward.

 

It's always exciting to hear from an ex no matter how things ended or how they treated you. However, you need to stick to your guns and stay away from this guy. It's always a huge red flag that someone hasn't changed at all if they attempt to press the reset button and casually waltz back into your life post doing major damage. Really, you may even start to feel angry when you consider his audacity of attempting to contact you with a flippant message. Realize that if he truly loved you and wanted reconciliation that this is not how he would be approaching you.

Link to comment

It's great you are overriding emotion with intellect in this case. All you can do is delete and block him from all social media and messaging apps, so there are no unwanted surprises or intrusions. Also it helps you stop clinging onto hope that one of these days he'll message wanting to get back together. He should not have access to any of your social life because by now you should be out there dating, posting all sorts of fun pics, sharing that with real friends, etc.

So my ex boyfriend got a new Instagram and he send me a message saying “happy Fourth of July”. I just can’t deny that my feelings for him haven’t changed at all.

Link to comment

You already know this, but it's good that you're writing here instead of writing him. "Happy fourth of July," is not a declaration of love, and most likely means absolutely nothing to him compared with what it means to you.

 

It takes time to get over someone. Give yourself that time. Yes, you're thinking too much into it - just because you feel something doesn't change the realities. You've done well being out of touch for 8 months. It's pretty annoying that he wrote to you after all that time, but it's good for you to stay grounded and unemotional about this and to continue with not contacting him.

Link to comment
This isn't a rhetorical question (clarifying because for whatever reason I have yet to see a poster answer it)-

 

What would you gain by being in touch with him?

 

Actually, OP's question was simply, what should she do? And I think most of the above have indeed answered that. She should continue no contact, and continue healing. In my opinion, OP was more or less venting that she wishes she didn't still have feelings for him, because she knows that it is a dead end.

 

Those are natural feelings even many months after a breakup. They will pass, unless contact resumes.

Link to comment

Wth?? Lol

 

Yeah people might want to provide meaningful answers based on OP's particular feelings on something. It's also entirely new to me that 6 people giving their opinion means the subject is closed for further discussion lol, but great job contributing to making the thread pointless to remain open.

Link to comment

Yes, exactly! I didn’t respond which I’m very happy about because I know I would of replied months ago. Everybody around me tells me don’t let him open that door anymore prove to him that your not second choice which I completely understand. Is that I just need to put my feelings to the side and just keep on moving forward even if it hurts.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Ă—
Ă—
  • Create New...