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Thread: I think it is time

  1. #1
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I think it is time

    The only family members in my dadĎs family to know about my sexual abuse by my dadís brother was of course my father, his brother and my grandparents . My grandparents are now gone . My dad of course will never say anything nor his brother . As many of you know my dad is very ill and needs a lot of support but canít afford anything and his one sister has been all over me and my brother to step up and look after my father who was nothing but also abusive.

    I think itís now time my two aunts find out how spectacular their brothers are . They can no longer run to their father who will smooth it over and make it OK . Right now with the new information about my dad I am in a very fragile state emotionally . My husband has volunteered to tell them and let the chips fall where they may .

    Maybe finally my dadĎs entire family will just leave me alone .

  2. #2
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    It is a hard, tough road going through life surrounded by people who expect certain things of you without having any idea what you've been through. I have been through a similar situation. I think finally telling your truth will be helpful in more ways than one

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    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I'm very sorry for your pain, ~Seraphim~



    I agree with you. It's time to come clean, tell the truth even though it's the brutal honest truth which none of your relatives wish to hear. I hope they'll finally leave you alone!

    Just be prepared for all sorts of scenarios. They could accuse you of being a liar, engage in gaslighting and all sorts of psychological warfare. Stand firm. I hope they will have compassion. However, always be prepared for the worst reactions. Whenever some people are confronted with what they do not wish to hear, they'll deny it ever happened and accuse you of fabricating the whole thing which is quite infuriating. Remain calm and unemotional. Don't shout, yell, fight and argue. Tell the truth whether they like it or not and walk away before they can dispute it. Don't allow their reactions to escalate into a nasty, ugly fight.

  4. #4
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Lucky for me I have court records they can deny all they like.


    I know my husband would tell them to pound the pavement.

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  6. #5
    Bronze Member LootieTootie's Avatar
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    The journey to healing can be a difficult one especially when it deals with family. Some people cut those family members out of their lives, while some decide to keep the silence in order to keep the peace.

    Are you estranged from your dad and his family?

  7. #6
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I hope you don't have to resort to flashing court documents in front of their faces if it came to that.

    I know what you're saying. My husband would tell them to go to hell, too.

    I hope you receive compassion, ~Seraphim~. I want it to work out for you.

    Perhaps it will be cathartic to finally reveal the truth to your relatives. They need to understand why you're infuriated.

    I hope you can heal. You're a very wounded bird and I want you to heal.

  8. #7
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LootieTootie
    The journey to healing can be a difficult one especially when it deals with family. Some people cut those family members out of their lives, while some decide to keep the silence in order to keep the peace.

    Are you estranged from your dad and his family?
    Mostly . I see my aunts every 5 years or so and my dad about twice a year and his brother never.

  9. #8
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    I hope you don't have to resort to flashing court documents in front of their faces if it came to that.

    I know what you're saying. My husband would tell them to go to hell, too.

    I hope you receive compassion, ~Seraphim~. I want it to work out for you.

    Perhaps it will be cathartic to finally reveal the truth to your relatives. They need to understand why you're infuriated.

    I hope you can heal. You're a very wounded bird and I want you to heal.
    I was doing well until my aunt more or less demanded I be a part of my dadís support.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I think it could be cathartic for you or your husband to tell this story. Know tho they may well call you a liar and it could get ugly. If that happens you need to just walk away. Never get dragged into an argument.

  11. #10
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I could have one ally . My one aunt her husband has been my uncle since I was 2 years old. He is mad because my dad rooked my aunt of her inheritance and his brother ( my dadís brother) rooked his son ( my cousin)out of 20,000. So now he canít stand his brothers-in-law.

    As for my aunts screw em. I can only hope they call my father and he stands up for me. He hasnít talked to his brother in 38 years since it happened.

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