Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 26

Thread: Boyfriend turning down sex.

  1. #11

    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    6
    But the relationship dies which is what I am trying to avoid but okay

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Posts
    1,943
    How old are the two of you and how many hours a week is he working? And what time does he get home from work?

    Same questions for yourself.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Posts
    1,121
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by kita21
    But the relationship dies which is what I am trying to avoid but okay
    If the relationship dies because you two are sexually incompatible or he has lost interest, it is actually a good thing. Why force what isn't working? Perhaps there is a man out there who is a better match for you in the bedroom.

    The bottom line is you can't force him to have sex with you. Attempting to coerce him into sex through guilt tactics or otherwise is simply wrong. Have an adult conversation with him when you aren't in the bedroom. If nothing changes, you will have to decide if you stay or walk.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Age
    28
    Posts
    1,639
    Gender
    Female
    Is he attentive and a good bf in other ways? Sometimes a lack of interest in sex suggests interest focused on other things, or people.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Member rubixcube19's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    34
    Gender
    Male
    It happens you know. I wonder if you guys live together. If hes spending long hours at work and you live together, hes doing the long hours for the both of you, to build a better life for the pair of you. So wait till the weekend? He wont have an excuse then. Especially morning when you just wake up. He will be full of energy and his mind wont be on work (one would hope.)

    Also, I don't know but it might have something to do with um, how do I put this delicately. The flavour of the sex? Is it the same repetitive stuff over and over? If you are not insecure about yourself or your body, watch a bit of porn with him and find out what you both like and are comfortable doing? That might be an idea.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    1,475
    Gender
    Female
    Well incompatible sex drive can be a reason for a break up as well. If your sexual drives are so different then you don't necessarily need to try to save the relationship, you could just go your separate ways. Yes I agree with you that sex is important but if your sex drives are so different that it was pretty much only you initiating and now your boyfriend fully declines then it may not mean you're right for each other. If he's had something else going on lately then yeah there could also be other reasons. But if from the start it's been basically you starting the sex then his drive and yours may be too mismatched.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    33,222
    Gender
    Male
    Was he always like this? What happened in the past month in either of your lives? How is the rest of the relationship? Do you live together? This isn't about people being allowed to not want to have sex on occasion, this is about something is up because it's a marked change from how things were.
    Originally Posted by kita21
    lately he’s been turning me down because he’s “so tired from work” or he “just doesn't feel like it” or he “hasn't taken a shower” every time I make an attempt its an EXCUSE.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    8,727
    Originally Posted by kita21
    But the relationship dies which is what I am trying to avoid but okay
    Do you take the same passive aggressive tone with him that you have in this thread when you discuss this issue with him?

  10. #19
    Member rubixcube19's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    34
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    Do you take the same passive aggressive tone with him that you have in this thread when you discuss this issue with him?
    Oh snap LOL.

    Anyway. re-reading the thread, I am looking at it in a new perspective. I can feel kita's dismay (even sadness?) Kita, when a guy is under that stress and is as tired as he is when he gets home, it's not always easy to maintain arousal, if you know what I mean. Women have it easy in that respect, nothing needs to stay "hard" so if its attempted and things don't go the way it was intended, he might get embarrassed but not only that, women tend to get really self conscious about it and tend to do the whole "he doesn't find me attractive" thing which is a headache in itself so maybe he might be thinking, well better not try it, just in case.

  11. #20

    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    6
    Wether it's "passive aggressive" or not his answer remains the same so what are you saying.

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •