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Thread: Guy 1, guy 2, or guy 3? Long story, hang in there

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    "So here are the choices...
    I move back to my small community with guy 1, Iím happy but struggle to pull my small business together and make a life, unsure what the future will really hold
    I move with guy 2, live a very comfortable life, doing things I always wanted, hoping that he is the more secure person he is acting like and that I will be happy with him.
    Stay where Iím living now, keep working, try to spend some more time with guy 3"

    Forget about guy 2 and guy 3. They are both distractions. Guy 2 has the promise of security, but you yourself admit you wouldn't be happy. Don't be with a guy who is not going to make you happy, even for the promise of financial stability. It won't be worth it in the end, especially when you realize that without him you have nothing, and if he has any controlling tendencies, you would be easily trapped. Guy 3 may as well be any other guy. Really, your option 3 is to keep trying to find yourself in your new life. Maybe things develop with guy 3, or maybe with someone else, or maybe you enjoy the single life for a while longer.

    You didn't say a lot about what you actually want from life, being so focused on the guys that are in it. So I don't know if where you are is the best place for that or not. Maybe you haven't thought about it much, preferring to attach your self-worth to a guy rather than find your own way and a way to love yourself. I apologize if I read to much into it.

    Anyway, I can't say much good about guy 1 from what you wrote about him. It sounds like the connection has more to do with your history together rather than who he is as a person. You seem to be happiest about him, but that's not saying a lot. You don't actually seem very attached to any of these men.

    My advice would be to figure out what you want before you get wrapped up with a guy. And ideally, you end up with someone where the connection is as deep and makes you happy like guy 1 - but without the substance abuse and bad baggage. From what you've written... you're not going to get that from guy 2 or guy 3.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    I'm thinking a favorite electronic device and some time away from dating wouldn't hurt. Maybe a taking a break from dating would be less exhausting.

  3. #13
    Thank you I actually found this pretty hopeful. Mostly the part about the need for attention. You donít need to apologize for that, it is true. I think that is the real problem that needs to be addressed. It would probably be good for me to see a therapist to figure out why I seek approval from the opposite sex, then figure what Iím looking for.

  4. #14
    Member rubixcube19's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Originally Posted by AvalonRose
    I donít know why I posted this, canít take it back now (literally canít delete these posts haha). Honestly just out for a few days with a toothache and too much time to over analyze my life. I know it is okay that Iím scared about what the future holds and still fantasize about the other possibilities. Truth is Iím happy, which is more than I can say about most people. Thanks for the advice... I donít want three guys just one! Iím glad I donít know you either rubixcube19! You must live an interesting life.. just kidding :) it is pretty clear that you donít if you are spending your time on this website insulting people.
    You are not happy. That is evident. A happy woman doesn't show a modicum of desperation. You hooked up with guy three because you really had no other choice. And now you're happy? Lets see how long that lasts for. On a side note, if I were to insult you, you would defiantly know about it. Everything I have said in this thread so far has merely been a passing comment.


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