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Thread: How can i handle this situation

  1. #1
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    How can i handle this situation

    I don't know how to handle this situation and it's slowly killing us.
    I have a friend which i know for a very long time and with whom i spend a lot of time. At least i did until i found this perfect girl. Ever since i`m in a relationship with her the only thing we argued about more seriously was about the fact that i spend a lot of time with this friend of mine. So at the time i got together with my girlfriend, my friend was away for a few years. He came back on vacation for a week or two and decided that we need to catch up. I told my girlfriend that i was gonna go hang out with him and she said ok. This went on for the whole week. During this time i did not ignore her or anything else of that kind. After he went back she told me that i spend too much time with him and she did not understand why. I told her we were bestfriends. Fast forward a few more months and my best friend returns home and i start doing the same thing, i hang out a lot with him and she starts getting frustrated and tells me that she needs a break from us. I apologized and said i'll tone it down after which she told me that she does not like him at all. Since then i start hanging out less and less with my friend. But still this was not enough. She went through my phone and gotten straight to my messages with him. Now mind you, me and my bestfriend constantly mock each other about all sorts of things. When she saw that she gotten very angry. Ever since then whenever she hears about him she gets very angry. At this point i realize that i made the mistake of not introducing my friend to my girlfriend. I arrange a get together with them and after that she still tells me that she does not like him. Ever since i tried the first time to get them to know each other she would get very upset about this subject and would not want to talk about it. I tried talking to her about this in order to somehow make this not upset her. I tried several times arranging another get together but she would not want to do it, telling me repeatedly that she does not want to see or talk to him. Basically she told me she hates him. I really want for them to get along.
    I really don't know what to do in order to fix this. I must admit that not introducing them at the very beginning is my fault. How can i approach this so that i can make this disappear or at least make this a bit easier on her?
    I need help. Thank you.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    What needs to disappear is her. She's controlling and possessive. It's healthy for you to spend time apart from her with buddies. And she doesn't have to like him, but she does have to respect your time with him and not badmouth him. Her behavior should be a dealbreaker for any self-respecting person.

  3. #3
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    Get rid of the insecure and controlling girlfriend. She sounds awful! Stop being a doormat!

    What happens when you spend time with other friends and family?

  4. #4
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    Your girlfriend is ludicrous.

    Get a new one. Seriously. This is not normal behavior for a mature adult.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    What needs to disappear is her. She's controlling and possessive. It's healthy for you to spend time apart from her with buddies. And she doesn't have to like him, but she does have to respect your time with him and not badmouth him. Her behavior should be a dealbreaker for any self-respecting person.
    Most of the time i just wanted to give up but i care about her. Aside from this there isn't really much to complain. It seems weird that this is such a big deal for her. Am i blind?

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Get rid of the insecure and controlling girlfriend. She sounds awful! Stop being a doormat!

    What happens when you spend time with other friends and family?
    Nothing much, she hasn't told me anything when i hung out with other people

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    Your girlfriend is ludicrous.

    Get a new one. Seriously. This is not normal behavior for a mature adult.
    If i can't convince her to maybe change her mind a little bit then that might be the case...

  9. #8
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    How long have you been together? How old are you guys? How long have you known this friend?

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    How long have you been together? How old are you guys? How long have you known this friend?
    We've been together for a couple of years, i'm 27 and she is 25 years old. I've known him since high school.

  11. #10
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    Is her only complaint about him that you spend too much time with him?

    How many days per week do you spend with him? Is it the whole evening?

    Does he trash talk your girlfriend?

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