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Thread: I'm Lost please help

  1. #1

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    I'm Lost please help

    Hello all sorry to bother you but I really don't know what to do this is the first time I've reached out for help I thought I could manage but I can't it all started while my missus was pregnant my first baby but not my girlfriends she has already two girls one day out of the blue she randomly started shouting at me (I do know ladies hormones are all over the place) but what she said was vile calling me spotty and fat and a few other insults only because I made her cheese on toast wrong and not in her way 9 months pass after several anger issues and also her ending up hitting me and bruising me (if anyone wants to ask questions please do) after our son was born it's gone from bad to worse let me just tell you a few of these arguments once because she needed 13p and I didn't have any money on me at the time only in my bank and these was abuse hurled then the other day I wanted to help her with her shopping and tmshe literally throw the shopping down and shouted at me in front of everyone there (some swear words) and today I ate one of her meals she likes even though she has loads of them I work 6 days a week or love life is zero she screams infront of the baby I don't want to leave her because she means everything to me but I'm crying most nights due to all of this and I don't understand why she is addicted to her phone I don't have a social life and speak to no one and I really look forward to talking to her and seeing her but it is always I'm annoying her or I'm always going on I'm in a hole and really don't know where to go what do I do how do I have a happy life I don't want to add to the poor relationship single parents statistics I don't want to go to a doctor with depression I'm good at hiding it I want what everyone wants being a parent and in a relationship but I can't have social media I can't have contacts big feel like I'm a prisoner

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Can you please edit into readable paragraphs with proper punctuation. It's really difficult to read a wall of text which is one long run-on sentence. Thanks.

  3. #3
    Member rubixcube19's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MrMan101
    Hello all sorry to bother you but I really don't know what to do this is the first time I've reached out for help.

    I thought I could manage but I can't it all started while my missus was pregnant my first baby but not my girlfriends. she has already two girls one day out of the blue she randomly started shouting at me (I do know ladies hormones are all over the place) but what she said was vile calling me spotty and fat and a few other insults only because I made her cheese on toast wrong and not in her way 9 months pass after several anger issues and also her ending up hitting me and bruising me (if anyone wants to ask questions please do) after our son was born it's gone from bad to worse let me just tell you a few of these arguments once because she needed 13p and I didn't have any money on me at the time only in my bank and these was abuse hurled then the other day I wanted to help her with her shopping and tmshe literally throw the shopping down and shouted at me in front of everyone.

    There (some swear words) and today I ate one of her meals she likes even though she has loads of them I work 6 days a week or love life is zero she screams infront of the baby I don't want to leave her because she means everything to me but I'm crying most nights due to all of this and I don't understand why she is addicted to her phone I don't have a social life and speak to no one and I really look forward to talking to her and seeing her but it is always I'm annoying her or I'm always going on I'm in a hole and really don't know where to go what do I do how do I have a happy life I don't want to add to the poor relationship single parents statistics I don't want to go to a doctor with depression I'm good at hiding it I want what everyone wants being a parent and in a relationship but I can't have social media I can't have contacts big feel like I'm a prisoner
    @Capricorn3 I did the best I could but ultimately gave up.

    MrMan101, am I to assume you have both a girlfriend and a wife? It sounds to me like you are a bit of a man child. You have very little respect for women and from what I gather, treat them like crap and are oblivious to this fact. I think in your particular case, the abuse you are facing is due to her bottling things up for so long then exploding at you to wake you up a bit.

    I don't say this often but I am thinking you are getting what you deserve finally.

  4. #4
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    I believe when you say missus and girlfriend you are talking about the same girl right?

    How long were you with her before she fell pregnant?
    Where is the father / ?fathers of her first two children?
    How long into seeing her did she introduce these children to you?

    Iím guessing there were a lot of red flags early days with this woman?

    Unfortunately if you choose to have a child within an unstable relationship, your risk of being a single parent is extremely high. Itís a little bit too late to be concerned about that it seems , so donít stay in the relationship that isnít working to avoid the single parent statistics.
    Instead work towards being a statistic of a successful single dad.

    Talk to a financial consultant , figure out where you can afford to live as a single parent and apply for shared custody even if it means staying with family etc.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Just end the relationship and have shared custody.

  7. #6
    Member PerkyGreek's Avatar
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    MrMan101, as Capricorn already mentioned, it would help if you would put periods and commas in your sentences or begin a new sentence in a new line, because we can easily misinterpret what you are saying. You need to get your act together. You seem to have too many things going on that you cannot handle and you want a lot of things to magically appear in your life. Please get help from friends and relatives because it is hard for us to give advice when we cannot even completely understand your situation.

  8. #7
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    "I don't want to leave her because she means everything to me"

    How can she mean anything to you with the way she treats you? What about her do you even like?

    "I'm crying most nights due to all of this and I don't understand why she is addicted to her phone"

    Most of the time when we ask "why" we are really asking "how can we change this behavior". But the crux of it is, you can't change another persons behavior. You can only accept it... or not accept it and move on.

    "I don't have a social life and speak to no one and I really look forward to talking to her and seeing her"

    Why are you not out finding a social life then? You've made this person your world and it is a crappy world. There is a lot of great things out there waiting for you. Your prison is self-imposed.

    "it is always I'm annoying her or I'm always going on I'm in a hole"

    She doesn't like you, and has been abusive to you if your description here is accurate. Because you don't have any other support system, and won't accept the tools that are available to help people in situations like yours, you are going to stay stuck. This situation is not going to get any better until you start moving.

    "I don't want to add to the poor relationship single parents statistics"

    Statistics are just a record of stuff that happens. They shouldn't stop you from doing the right thing. You didn't want to be in a poor relationship but you are. You are ALREADY in a statistic. Now you have to deal with that.

    "I don't want to go to a doctor with depression"

    Why not? If you broke your leg would you not go to a doctor to make sure it heals?

    "I want what everyone wants being a parent and in a relationship"

    You can't make your girlfriend treat you right. Staying in a relationship with the mother of your child is a noble wish, but if she treats you as bad as you say you aren't ever going to have a happy parenting relationship.

    "I'm good at hiding it"

    Hiding it - keeping your emotions bottled up - is a great way to make them way worse. You are swallowing poison by not getting help for these issues.


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