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Thread: what can i do

  1. #1

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    what can i do

    I dont know what to do im a recovering porn addict and my marriage is in tatters. i have been porn free for over 2 and a half years but my marriage is on the rocks. There is no trust understandably. Last night it came to a head when during a family party i proded a young woman on the shoulder as i walked past it was all innocent. My wife saw this and got very upset and it ended in a huge arguement between the 2 of us at the end of the night. My wife wont talk to me and i feel like im drowning and dont know how i can evan start to put things right again.

    We have been through so much over the last 5 years there is always another stressful situation coming along. I am not good at putting things into words and struggle to explain things properley i would just like some help. thanks for reading.

  2. #2

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    I feel for you mate if a women even texts me or talks to me I'm apparently cheating that does sound bad but you're on a good road to recovery and there will be bad patches and it will be a hard slog but one day things might change I feel for you pal just speak to her get everything off your chest and understand and listen to her and if it's not meant to be the best would be to walk away and keep level headed keep your chin up

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by at a loss
    Last night it came to a head when during a family party i proded a young woman on the shoulder as i walked past it was all innocent.
    What does this mean, exactly? Do you know this woman and it was a friendly poke hello, or?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    What is this word "proded?" Do you mean prodded? Do you mean you touched a woman on the shoulder? Did you accidentally bump into her? If it's any of the above I think your wife over reacted.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Short of unzipping and slapping your d*ck atop her shoulder, I'm trying to think of any form of shoulder contact that would warrant a meltdown. If there are deeper issues, I'd be open to listening. I wouldn't put up with trivial arguments like this, though.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Yes, please clarify more what you meant by prodded this young woman on the shoulder.

    Did you know her? What kind of contact was this? Why touch her at all?

  8. #7
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    It does not matter how he touched this woman - if she's got trust issues, she's going to react, and it's serious and needs to be addressed in counseling.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Tho your porn addition put a tremendous strain on your marriage, I believe there are other things in your relationship that play a role in why your marriage isn't working. I'm assuming you tried marriage counseling? From my what I have seen with my friends go through infidelity/addiction issues, it had brought them closer together because they were very dedicated to work on solving their differences. It takes two to repair a marriage, and she's not having any of it. I'm only guessing, that she is so not over it and wants to keep punishing you for your mistakes....and possibly staying due to financial reasons and or staying for the kids (if there are any). Your marriage is suffering from a terminal illness and if she can't be on board with fixing it, then it is just best to let it die and move on.
    IMO you both need to sit down and figure out if it's worth staying together.

  10. #9

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    we havent been through marraige counselling i have booked an appointment for friday but i dont know if it will do any good. I know i have hurt her and i know that my actions have caused triggers for my wife. I can see she is hurting and really want to fix our marriage. We have been through so so much i hope iwe can work through it i really do.

  11. #10

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    just to clarify this girl is a friend of my cousins i poked her on the neck as i walked past her. the argument me and my wife had escalated at the end of the night and i ended up pushing her to the floor i didnt mean to push her that hard i only meant to push her away never the less i did

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