Does she just want my attention?

Some information first off

- Im 23 she is 18

- I actually have my way to get a girl and it worked the last 3-4 times but she is resisting all off my agenda somehow.

- She is kinda childish for most guys this is a big turn off but for me i dont know how to describe it, its kinda interesting for me.

- This is my first ever thread i opened so if you think its to long or too hard to read let me know it please

- English is not my first language, so sorry for that

I met her last month in a club, we had eye contact several times untill she came to me.

We had small talk for like 1 minute then she backed away, i thougt she might be shy or something but i really couldnt tell, it was kinda weird.

The next day i slid in her dm's. (i knew her because she was surprisingly the best friend from a girl that i hooked up with 1 year ago)

I never showed much interest from there on, she was texting how bad she looked on the day we met so i got a slight clue that she was an attention .

Texting for like 1 week she asked randomly if i was down to hang out, when i said yes, she flaked and said, nah i dont want you to drive all the way alone. I stopped texting her because of that weird excuse.

She engaged more with texting but in the time of 2 weeks she asked me to come over like 5 times and always flaked and came up with pretty bad excuses. Actually i can tell if a women wants me but i had no clue about her

So after that i stopped texting her for like 1 week.

I was in the club with my friend and suddenly i saw her again with her best friend. I was pissed because actually i was done with her. I showed no interest in the beginning. She tried to talk to me but i always came with short responses.

Her and her best friend talked to my friend, because they wanted to know why i was so pissed and he told them the truth (i hate him for that), that i was actually done with here because she didnt act up to here texting stuff. SHE said to him that she was looking for nothing serious.

While i was dancing she suddenly came to me and ing started pushing her ass on my lap. We danced for like 5 secs the i moved her and told her to stop with that

After i went home that night she texted me a long message about how she felt sorry for being a to me and promised me to make everything up to me.

The Day after she asked me if i want to go to a birthdayparty with her. I said yes again but had low expectations. I was done showering and she flaked again. So i told her. "I dont wanna waste my time, say what you want from me or im done"

She explained herself somehow with long text messages and engaged more, told me that her intentions were real and that we really need to meet up. So it kinda seemed like she was anxious about losing my attention. She told me that if she gets back from her vacation in 2 weeks we'll meet up for sure. i was sceptic but said "yeah, okay then".

After that time she texted me everyday, got more flirty and said she cant wait until she meets up with me.

She is now on Vacation in Norway and even though my responses to her texting are damn short, she is engaging like she never did, making plans with me for the whole week after she comes back and stuff.

Somehow my gut is telling me that she just needs the validation while she is on vacation.

I forgot to mention that she i always fishing for compliments for example: "it would be better if you dont see me im damn ugly today" or "i bet you actually think im fat and ugly".

But i never respond to that . If i did then i said something sarcastic.

So i really dont know I actually dont want to text her the whole time while she is on vacation because i if she is just playing with me i will hate myself after the 2 weeks if she flakes again.

But if shes being honest i dont know if not answering for 2 weeks turns her off to meet up with me.

I also got the feeling like loosing my dignity time after time. (i dealt with a narcissistic girlfriend for 2 years so i know what losing dignity and self respect feels like)

So let me know what you guys think. Im open for every opinion.

thank you for reading this long

I think you are totally correct that she is childish and only really looking for attention.

I don’t know why you would waste your time on this. She’s too immature for you.

Thank you, yeah thats what i question myself all the time. But these people always get me hooked.

Why do you find childish and immature attractive?

Thank you, yeah thats what i question myself all the time. But these people always get me hooked.

Perhaps you enjoy the chase, and the resulting attention you get when you pull back and they come looking for you.

I dont know exactly but i tend to fall for narcissistic/childish playful people that are mysterious and not available . the last year i had 3 chances to get in a relationship but as soon as they ask me if we're exclusive i pull back and drop them. but i always run after people that play with me. maybe its bond anxiety

You hooked up with her best friend a year ago? How did that end, OP?

I hate to say it but she could be playing you for “revenge” on behalf of her bestie. Some young girls play that game.

At the end of the day, it seems like she has flaked on you at least 5 times. I would let this one go, personally.

When you work on yourself and get to an emotionally healthy state, that's when you'll be seeking equally mentally healthy people. Read some self-help books in the areas you think you could personally benefit from.

well i would say it wasnt serious at all with her friend, we just met at a party and made out thats it. then she left for 1 year work and travel USA. never heard of her again till this month. shes pregnant lol

You might be right, even though she was making more moves, my gut tells me that this person isn't real at all and not worth it. but my f*** up mind tells me that i need to impress her even though i know that it isn't necessary and does the opposite effect

Sane women who are into you don't confuse you or break dates. Block this one and find another girl to date.

You might be right, even though she was making more moves, my gut tells me that this person isn't real at all and not worth it. but my f*** up mind tells me that i need to impress her even though i know that it isn't necessary and does the opposite effect

She definitely isn't seriously interested, no.

But you seem to have answered your own question as to why you do this - it's actually about validating your own attractiveness and desirability, in my opinion. If you manage to get girls like this to come around, it boosts your self-esteem. Having them disappear does the opposite, leaving you questioning why you're not good enough. That's my take, for what it's worth.

You're human, and we tend to do this when we're not all that secure and confident. I think that with time and a better filter (to nix the girls who are just playing games or looking to have their ego stroked) you will find that you pursue more viable and mature options.

Do you like girls who are jealous and controlling, who demand to see your phone, who interrogate you about why you "liked" another girl's pic or comment, who blow up your phone with texts?

In other words, do you crave a drama girlfriend?

I also got the feeling like loosing my dignity time after time. (i dealt with a narcissistic girlfriend for 2 years so i know what losing dignity and self respect feels like)

Stop talking to her and keep looking for a chick who DOES want to meet you and ACTUALLY shows up for that meet.

Learn the lesson your last relationship should have taught you and keep away from chicks like this babe that is a flake and sounding a tad

cray-cray!

I dont know exactly but i tend to fall for narcissistic/childish playful people that are mysterious and not available . the last year i had 3 chances to get in a relationship but as soon as they ask me if we're exclusive i pull back and drop them. but i always run after people that play with me. maybe its bond anxiety

I think you are a cruel man to be dating when you clearly are not ready to be in anything serious. You should at least be honest with those you date that you are just looking for an eff buddy or a friend with benefits and quit shredding hearts.

It seems you have met your match in this girl (you are both not ready to be in anything serious) and she is teaching you how it feels to be effed over.

She definitely isn't seriously interested, no.

 

But you seem to have answered your own question as to why you do this - it's actually about validating your own attractiveness and desirability, in my opinion. If you manage to get girls like this to come around, it boosts your self-esteem. Having them disappear does the opposite, leaving you questioning why you're not good enough. That's my take, for what it's worth.

 

You're human, and we tend to do this when we're not all that secure and confident. I think that with time and a better filter (to nix the girls who are just playing games or looking to have their ego stroked) you will find that you pursue more viable and mature options.

Yeah exactly thats the point i think im also kinda attention seeking but not that obvious as other people, i think i should work on that

Do you like girls who are jealous and controlling, who demand to see your phone, who interrogate you about why you "liked" another girl's pic or comment, who blow up your phone with texts?

 

In other words, do you crave a drama girlfriend?

Not really, that would turn me off quick

So, you lose interest if a girl is too easy to "get". But if she makes you work for it and doesn't give in easily, you are super interested and want to see if you can "get" her?

What happens if you succeed in "getting" her, do you then lose interest?

So, you lose interest if a girl is too easy to "get". But if she makes you work for it and doesn't give in easily, you are super interested and want to see if you can "get" her?

 

What happens if you succeed in "getting" her, do you then lose interest?

i dont really know but i think it could be possible.

i think as soon as they sleep with me, i'll start losing interest because i achieved her validation or something? after that mostly they get feelings and then i start to back away more and the chasing circle turns. (thats my experience so far)

It's fine if you want one night stands. But don't lead anyone on. Especially don't prey on younger naive girls.

i dont really know but i think it could be possible.

 

i think as soon as they sleep with me, i'll start losing interest because i achieved her validation or something? after that mostly they get feelings and then i start to back away more and the chasing circle turns. (thats my experience so far)

Do you think it's nice to treat females this way?

Do you think it's nice to treat females this way?

No it's not and i dont mean that i do it by purpose, its just as soon as someone shows me serious interest, my interest in this person magically vanishes

No it's not and i dont mean that i do it by purpose, its just as soon as someone shows me serious interest, my interest in this person magically vanishes

Maybe work on stopping? These are humans with feelings, not playthings for you to amuse yourself with.

Yes, I'm being very direct. But it seems you don't care if you hurt these girls as long as you get what you want from them.

You will end up very lonely once you are too old to attract 18 year olds and all the women your age won't play along because they will see through your tactics.

Please rethink your mindset.

Yea, I basically told him that in post #13 and he just ignored it all together.

Yea, I basically told him that in post #13 and he just ignored it all together.

I didnt ignore it, but there is a misconception. I dont do it by purpose and i dont play with people like that. i just said that my desire goes back when women show me that they're seriously interested. but i always chase women that play me and leave me questioning if they like me or not.