Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12

Thread: My entire family hates my boyfriend and there really isn't a reason for it.

  1. #1

    My entire family hates my boyfriend and there really isn't a reason for it.

    My boyfriend and I have been together for six months.
    Over the past few months I have noticed whenever my mom is near him she gets completely quiet and will hardly talk.. she also did this with my other two ex's who she hated.
    My father cornered me yesterday and once in the vehicle and told me how he did not like him and got a "funny feeling" about him.
    I made a joke to my grandmother yesterday about dating someone she hates to which she says, "you could do worse"

    I would understand this if my boyfriend didn't try to go above and beyond to help my parents with whatever they need. We were going to move away for four months to work (it didnt't work out because I hated my job) and before we left he cancelled all his plans to be with his friends before leaving and came and helped repaint my parents bedroom with my Dad to surprise my mom.

    He does anything he can to always help them, no matter what it is.

    I just don't know what to do and I don't know if I'm supposed to just leave him or what I'm supposed to do. I love him, I really do. But I'm just so lost...

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    53
    Posts
    36,975
    Gender
    Female
    It is not about your boyfriend . It is about you being with anybody . So just live your life provided you are old enough to.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    1,377
    You've only been together for 6 months. Give it more time.

    It's commendable that your boyfriend canceled his social plans with friends so he could paint your parents' bedroom with your Dad to surprise your mom. Be careful though. He shouldn't have to try so hard to be well liked and respected. He should be liked and approved by your family just by him acting natural and without knocking himself out to be liked.

    Try to be patient and reassess 6 months from now.

    There are times when you just have to live your own life. If your family hates him or any man in your life, all you can do is live your life with him and many times there's nothing you can do. It's beyond your control.

    You can't please everybody all the time.

    It's universal for family members, relatives and in-laws to either dislike each other, vehemently hate each other or act rather indifferent toward one another permanently. This is how it is with my relatives and in-laws. There are very few families living the "Norman Rockwell" fantasy.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,742
    Gender
    Male
    After 6 mos dating he shouldn't be doing all this for your parents. You involve your parents way too much and are causing this friction. You should be getting to know him, not forcing him to act like a son-in-law or forcing him on your parents or your parents on him. Stop and date. Your parents are way out of line expecting or accepting all this from him. And you are out of line for facilitating this.
    Originally Posted by sadlilclown
    I would understand this if my boyfriend didn't try to go above and beyond to help my parents with whatever they need. He does anything he can to always help them, no matter what it is.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Location
    NY
    Age
    59
    Posts
    389
    Gender
    Male
    Families can be like armchair quarterbacks. They like to make the calls and pass judgement, but they are not the ones down there on the field. Sounds to me as if they just don't want you with anyone. Do you have siblings? If so, are your parents unhappy with your sibling's partners?

    I am in the same situation... the only reason my bother in-laws are accepted into the family is because they cow down to my parents, they do this because their wives (my sisters) are controlling.

    Lead your own life, what your family is doing is plainly and simply emotional abuse.

  7. #6
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Land of Wind & Ghosts
    Posts
    1,386
    It happens a lot, that your blood family does not like your boyfriend. Google the term Elope. This is why the term was invented. Your problem is so common it's famous. If it becomes a problem, keep them apart. otherwise don't worry about it too much. It's just life.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    24,318
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by sadlilclown
    My boyfriend and I have been together for six months.
    Over the past few months I have noticed whenever my mom is near him she gets completely quiet and will hardly talk.. she also did this with my other two ex's who she hated.
    My father cornered me yesterday and once in the vehicle and told me how he did not like him and got a "funny feeling" about him.
    I made a joke to my grandmother yesterday about dating someone she hates to which she says, "you could do worse"

    I would understand this if my boyfriend didn't try to go above and beyond to help my parents with whatever they need. We were going to move away for four months to work (it didnt't work out because I hated my job) and before we left he cancelled all his plans to be with his friends before leaving and came and helped repaint my parents bedroom with my Dad to surprise my mom.

    He does anything he can to always help them, no matter what it is.

    I just don't know what to do and I don't know if I'm supposed to just leave him or what I'm supposed to do. I love him, I really do. But I'm just so lost...
    I think moving away with a boyfriend you have only been with a brief time would worry me if I were your sister or aunt. I would fear you were moving too quickly and boyfriend was doing too much to try and 'win me" as your aunt/sister/mother
    I think that you should just keep your eyes open if your parents have never done this with another boyfriend.
    My ex would ingratiate himself with my parents - not just pay for dinners, but buy them souvenirs of the place, plus dessert, and would have gone above and beyond even if he or we were totally broke and then he would treat me ty. Sometimes family are unreasonable, but most of the time they love you and want the best for you. I would not necessarily give them credence, but I would say "what exactly makes you feel funny about him?" And do not get defensive when they answer.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    4,550
    When my dad met my mom's parents for the 1st time, they HATED his guts, and he's the nicest dude on the planet. And they grew to love him. In the beginning when my hubs came to visit, he had a fun car, but had to use it one weekend, and it's like a battle car, so had rust. They thought he was mentally ill. hahahah. They love him so much now. I would ask what specifically they don't like about him and to be honest.

    Just remember, you don't marry your parents.

  10. #9
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Location
    NY
    Age
    59
    Posts
    389
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by tattoobunnie
    In the beginning when my hubs came to visit, he had a fun car, but had to use it one weekend, and it's like a battle car, so had rust. They thought he was mentally ill.
    TB... What did you mean by this? I' confused

  11. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    4,550
    He had a giant rusted hole in the car. He used it for off-roading. He had plans to come see me, but his other car wasn't working, so he drove that car. We were long-distance at the time. My folks thought that was his regular car.

    You had to be there. It was funny.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •