Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 21 to 24 of 24

Thread: 16 years together and married for 10... now I'm confused, angry and jealous.

  1. #21
    Stack I am sorry you are in this horrible position I can feel your pain

    This IS an affair! It is already physical and she is going to take it all the way!
    I am glad you hired a PI and have a better idea of the probable truth. Checking her computer and dairy is what you had to do. Do not let anyone tell you different. She lost her right to privacy when she started cheating. Yes EA is cheating and she is fondling men at work that is PA just not PIV!

    Now you must protect yourself and her.

    Do you have access to her cell phone? You must!
    Check cell records on your account
    Can you start showing up at her job? Maybe for lunch or dinner after work
    You will not be able to let her go out with coworkers without you, that will suck but if you what to save this marriage you will have to stop the cheating
    Put a VAR in her car now! If she is making plans you need to know.

    You are on the right track to gather evidence. She is not going to admit anything without proof.

    DO not confront her without evidence but NEVER NEVER give up your sources.

    She must quit this job until she does the affair will continue. You will have to hope she isn't in the broom closet with the OM, she might not write that down.

    I wish she was talking to you about her fantasies have you confronted her about the porn she uses?

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    33,222
    Gender
    Male
    What are these abbreviations? PA? PIV? 👽🛸

    Stalking, harassing, abusing, controlling and treating her like a criminal under surveillance is the not going to help. In fact only a paranoid control freak would do that. Many abusers do the things you recommend. He doesn't want a divorce and he has evidence a private investigator provided to either get marriage therapy or file for divorce.

    Why waste time and money on nonsense surveillance? It would be hilarious listening to the GPS instructions or radio on the voice activated recorder in a car. Are you advertising/selling these services or equipment? Do you sell ankle monitors too?🤑 Those are known to improve any marital problems.
    Originally Posted by Organic2003
    is PA just not PIV!

    Do you have access to her cell phone? You must!

    Can you start showing up at her job?

    You will not be able to let her go out with coworkers without you

    Put a VAR in her car now!

    She must quit this job until she does the affair will continue.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    11,234
    Originally Posted by Organic2003
    Stack I am sorry you are in this horrible position I can feel your pain

    This IS an affair! It is already physical and she is going to take it all the way!
    I am glad you hired a PI and have a better idea of the probable truth. Checking her computer and dairy is what you had to do. Do not let anyone tell you different. She lost her right to privacy when she started cheating. Yes EA is cheating and she is fondling men at work that is PA just not PIV!

    Now you must protect yourself and her.

    Do you have access to her cell phone? You must!
    Check cell records on your account
    Can you start showing up at her job? Maybe for lunch or dinner after work
    You will not be able to let her go out with coworkers without you, that will suck but if you what to save this marriage you will have to stop the cheating
    Put a VAR in her car now! If she is making plans you need to know.

    You are on the right track to gather evidence. She is not going to admit anything without proof.

    DO not confront her without evidence but NEVER NEVER give up your sources.

    She must quit this job until she does the affair will continue. You will have to hope she isn't in the broom closet with the OM, she might not write that down.

    I wish she was talking to you about her fantasies have you confronted her about the porn she uses?
    If you have to resort to any of these secret police tactics, the marriage is already over.

    Do you think the two of you will think back fondly on any of this 20 years from now? "Honey, remember the time you put a listening device in my car and physically escorted me out of my workplace so I couldn't fondle my coworkers? I'm sure glad you did that, it saved our marriage!!!!!!1111"

    I do know a couple that came back from a very threatening affair (she was sleeping with her boss), but the husband didn't resort to any of these tactics. He simply stated his case; he wanted to stay married to her but couldn't if she continued the affair. Her choice. She chose to end the affair and they've been married over 30 years. But, none of this spying silliness.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    FL
    Age
    39
    Posts
    2,222
    Gender
    Male
    In gonna take a different approach here.

    There's nothing wrong with you spying. You smelled smoke (or bullsh1t) and protected yourself by looking into it.

    The fact that you found evidence of her cheating on you (that's what she is doing) and the fact that she's being dishonest and disrespectful justified what you did.

    What was the alternative? Put your head in the sand? Let her carry on like a..... You know??

    Eff all that.

    Id tell her you know what she's up to and demand a fix... Not sure what that would entail but you can't carry on this way.

    I also wouldn't tell her how I knew unless she makes a full effort to fix things.

  5.  

Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •