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Thread: how to control emotions

  1. #1

    how to control emotions

    I know anger is normal, it is a healthy emotion. But I find it difficult to keep under control. Maybe the lack of sleep can be a problem. I know good quality sleep can help combat many physical, mental and emotional problems. Many times I explode with no reason, so I have to quickly control this issue. Which is the best anger management therapy center in Toronto? Please share your thoughts. I heard about freedom from addiction center in Toronto. Kindly share your valuable suggestions.

  2. #2
    Gold Member leseine7's Avatar
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    It's good that you are looking for professional help - I do not know Toronto well enough to make a recommendation for a specific service.

    I will say that lack of sleep is absolutely a trigger for unstable emotions. If you recognise that as a problem, then you should start there - try to start getting 8 hours of sleep a night, and if you struggle with insomnia then be sure to talk with your doctor about that and find ways of helping get more sleep.

    In terms of anger - what are the causes of your anger? Are you going through a particularly difficult time or a circumstance that's causing you to feel more angry than usual? Are you directing it at others? It is important to get ahold of your anger. We all get angry, but that's not an excuse to lash out, and if you know you don't have good control over it, you need to find a way to do so.

    When you feel anger rising, take deep breaths, remove yourself from the situation (walk away, if you are in a fight with a loved one, tell them "I need to step away so that I can calm down instead of saying or doing something in anger.") - go find a room or a clear area and breathe deeply for ten seconds focusing only on your breath. Do not revisit the situation until you are calmer.

    Find some activities or exercise that will also help - running can be a good way of channeling stress or anger. Meditating is wonderful and you can download the Headspace app and meditate for 5-10 minutes as a place to start.

    I am not sure if we are allowed to suggest a professional service on this site but if you have found something that might work - like the center in Toronto - I recommend you go asap to get a handle on any violent outbursts, which can be dangerous to yourself and others.

  3. #3
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    Lack of sleep has nothing to do with it if anger is the only emotion you have trouble dealing with?

    How do you control other emotions?

    Self reason is key. When you start to feel angry about something (and sorry but itís not a sudden outburst , it builds up) do you enable it by telling yourself you have a right to be angry about this situation and to what extent?
    Do you question your anger? Is it worth getting angry over?
    Anger just like anxiety are normal emotions. Those emotions are inbuilt in us to protect us . But not to be taken to the extreme.

    You need to imagine you are an outsider looking in. What advice would you give that person in the situation you find yourself in.

    Itís great that you have good insight and recognise the issue.

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    It also can be a vicious cycle -are you not getting enough sleep because you're feeling stressed out and/or angry?

    What works for me -I don't have a disorder just have to stay calm as a parent especially these days - 4-7-8 breathing, the Weil method, mantras I repeat to myself silently to talk myself down from a tree of stress or frustration, cardio exercise every day, and recognizing triggers such as little sleep or being too hungry or dehydrated -do you drink enough water?

    I too am not familiar enough with Toronto, sorry!

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I'm from Toronto and dont know any anger management clinics. Have you googled for one? That's where I'd start. Or ask you doctor.

    Self awareness and self control go a long way in controlling anger. If you need more sleep, work on getting more sleep. I get grouchy if I dont get enough sleep and I think many others do too.

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    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    Maybe start by contacting an outpatient therapist. Often times anger management can be worked in a less restrictive setting if you do not have a history of violent behavior. Perhaps over time you will learn more effective coping skills and the root reasons you have difficulty controlling your anger.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are you addicted to drugs? If not, get to a doctor for a complete checkup and a referral to a therapist.
    Originally Posted by Albert324
    I heard about freedom from addiction center

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I understand how you feel because I too become angry easily! I keep my angry emotions under control by exercising self control! I pray and ask for wisdom and strength to do it. It works for me anyway.

    Lack of sleep will make anyone belligerent and impulsive with angry explosions. Make sure you try to regulate your sleep schedule so you're not sleep deprived because it's not only bad for you mentally but physically, it's very bad for your brain and heart health. Lack of sleep equals shorter lifespan. Your fatigue will cause you to become angry. Everyone is angry and short tempered due to sleep deprivation. If you can't sleep when you should, try taking at least a short power nap everyday. It's better than nothing.

    I have to deal with several jerks in my life. I can't escape them nor avoid them whenever I want to. Instead of retorts which will ultimately cause WW3, I take the passive aggressive route. I don't do anything nor say anything. I ignore a lot or don my best poker face. You ought to try it. Be cool and self confident. If you try what I do, you'll feel calm, won't say anything you'll regret, there won't be any fighting and tomorrow you can look at yourself in the mirror and be grateful for the peaceful atmosphere you've created.

    In the past, whenever I became angry and let people know exactly how I felt, it was a recipe for disaster! My outbursts whether verbal or written ended up with their gaslighting me to the hilt, we argued in circles, some relationships ended in permanent estrangement and it was awkward when we would meet again. All scenarios were a nightmare. I'm not like that anymore. I've since changed. Nowadays, I realize and know what the outcome will be ahead of time should I not carry myself with grace. Have poise and aplomb. The less you say the better. Have class. Never stoop to their level. Be the bigger person and take the high road. Don't retaliate. Be better than that.

    You can't control others. This world is full of jerks galore. All you can do is control yourself, remain civil, respectful, honorable and contain yourself. Be above it. Don't allow others to get a rise out of you. You do this by remaining cool and collected. Count 1, 2 and 3. Take a deep breath. If you can't be strong at least be smart.

    My thoughts are to change the way you think. Be more prudent and shrewd. Think before you act. Think before you speak and write. You'll respect yourself and be proud of your own behavior. Carry yourself with dignity and integrity.

    Don't emulate people whom you despise otherwise you'll become one of them. Be different in your own way. Be a civil, peaceful person.

    Also, I exercise a lot to stay fit. Whenever I don't workout and if my diet is awful, I feel very negative and mean spirited. When I take excellent care of my physical health, I feel good about myself. Hence, I'm a nicer person and less grumpy. I tend to think before I act, speak and write. I'm more careful and cautious. I think within reason and think logically. There is a definite sound body, sound mind connection. With exercise and diligent dieting, I'm more mindful of others and myself. There is clarity after taking care of one's health first and foremost.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You keep your anger, outbursts and impulsive nature under control by reminding yourself of harsh consequences should you "act up." It won't end well. Put a lid on it. Go splash cold water on your face and listen to the voice of reason in your mind.

    Always think of the future outcome which will be negative if you don't exercise self control. Have composure.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    And don't get emotional nor highly emotionally charged. Emotion clouds your better judgment. Keep a cool head always. Do what makes sense in the name of peace and enforce healthy boundaries with others forever.


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