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Thread: I need your advice regarding silent treatments and deciding whether I was wrong

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by sosolaila89
    I have bad anxiety and when I freak out, I ask everyone for their opinion. Some people take advantage of that and really try to break me while undergoing anxiety which causes me to explode in sadness and pain.
    And that can do serious damage to a relationship.

    I'll ask again: how often do you fear he is cheating on you? This episode didn't come out of nowhere. Your fear is there. Where is it coming from?

    It sounds like you need new friends, by the way. A true friend isn't going to intentionally try to provoke you.

  2. #12
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    Youíre right. I shouldnít have accused him because I never doubted his trust or our relationship until I allowed an outsider to get into my head.

    I havenít done anything to manage to except go for a walk/the gym to release it. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.

  3. #13
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    The fear of him cheating has not come to my mind since she mentioned he may not spend time with me because his priority is another woman.

    Iím sad he doesnít spend time with me and she took that and created a whole scenario out of it. Doesnít mean I should have trusted her over my own boyfriend but sadly, I did.

    He has done the same to me and I am a bit more understanding than he is because I donít get mad. I reassure him that I am faithful and all is good.

    He doesnít actually think I am, his paranoia (which comes from schizophrenia) causes him to behave this way. When heís on meds, heís not like that.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by sosolaila89
    Youíre right. I shouldnít have accused him because I never doubted his trust or our relationship until I allowed an outsider to get into my head.

    I havenít done anything to manage to except go for a walk/the gym to release it. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.
    Do you think maybe it's time to find better ways to manage your anxiety? You (apparently) did not go for a walk or to the gym when your friend made up the cheating scenario about your boyfriend, so I'd say your methods are not working too well.

    Is he getting treatment for his mental illness?

  5.  

  6. #15
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    No, my method is not working but I am willing to get this under control once my insurance kicks in.

    He does, on and off.

  7. #16
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    As it currently stands, this is not a good relationship for you to be in. It's sucked for 2 years and there is too much distance between you, which triggers anxiety in both of you. You each have accused the other of infidelity, and as much as he can try to help close the gap by things like good morning texts, you are both trying to hold onto something that's slipping away. It may not even be anyone's fault that it is slipping away.

    Long distance relationships can cause anxiety in people who aren't normally prone to it - and BOTH of you have mental health problems. The only thing I could see saving this is if you were closer to each other. Is there any hope for a change in circumstances anytime soon? There's nothing you can do until he decides to speak to you.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by saluk
    As it currently stands, this is not a good relationship for you to be in. It's sucked for 2 years and there is too much distance between you, which triggers anxiety in both of you. You each have accused the other of infidelity, and as much as he can try to help close the gap by things like good morning texts, you are both trying to hold onto something that's slipping away. It may not even be anyone's fault that it is slipping away.

    Long distance relationships can cause anxiety in people who aren't normally prone to it - and BOTH of you have mental health problems. The only thing I could see saving this is if you were closer to each other. Is there any hope for a change in circumstances anytime soon? There's nothing you can do until he decides to speak to you.
    Itís not a long distance relationship. We live 20 mins from each other. He is in Wisconsin for work but lives by me.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    But that doesn't make what you accused him of disappear. You accused him of cheating!

    What have you done to manage your anxiety? Therapy? Medication? CBT?
    Years ago I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder, in addition to Bipolar 2.

    I was placed on meds, which helped but caused side effects I didn't like, so went off them and learned to manage on my own.

    I do Yoga and run, I eat healthy and distance myself from those things or people that cause my anxiety to increase.

    I still have episodes sometimes, not as often as I used to, but as I said I manage on my own. Yoga works wonders, centers me and keeps me calm, so does running or any sort of vigorous exercise.

    And what's very important to me, is that when someone's behavior or words are actually causing me to feel anxious, I distance myself from that person.

    Just some things to consider other than the standard medication or CMT, etc.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Years ago I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder, in addition to Bipolar 2.

    I was placed on meds, which helped but caused side effects I didn't like, so learned to manage on my own.

    I do Yoga and run, I eat healthy and distance myself from those things or people that cause my anxiety to increase.

    I still have episodes but as I said I manage on my own. Yoga works wonder, centers me and keeps me calm, so does running or any sort of vigorous exercise.

    Just some things to consider other than the medication or CMT, etc.
    Thank you!

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by sosolaila89
    Itís not a long distance relationship. We live 20 mins from each other. He is in Wisconsin for work but lives by me.
    Sorry. Key thing I got wrong!

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