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Thread: Mixed signals- did I ruin it even before it became anything?!

  1. #11
    Member
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    Originally Posted by AP1105
    I want to see where it goes with him. Before he left he told me not to stress it and that he’ll see me soon. He still texts me every day that never stopped. It’s only been 3 days since he left and when he first got here he told me he wanted to date me. I don’t know if I’m just over thinking this and he’s a very unaffectionate person but I’m itching to ask him AGAIN what he wants because of my doubts but I feel like that’s what got me here in the first place.
    Wait. You're gonna ask him the question again when the guy has made it clear to stop asking. I apologize, but I'm not him my skin is crawling at the same repetitive question. You last asked him this question right before he left, he even told you if anything changes, he'll let you know.
    Don't ask him that question again for now.

  2. #12
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    What was it that made you feel like it wasn't a real thing for him? What is the concern with facebook status? Why did you feel like you kept needing to ask him for reassurance?

  3. #13
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    What I've learned...

    I have learned that there are no such things as Mixed Signals, there are only soft "no's." The reason I say this is that if someone is hot/cold and you're doing all of the work, they, for WHATEVER reason (and it may have nothing to do with you) aren't all in and it's best to move on. This guy might have some issues with intimacy that you might have realized down the line and he got freaked out with the idea of you guys being closer OR you may have some attachment issues where you need constant reassurance (I get this myself). I recommend you read the book, "Attached" as it will help you understand yourself and how to spot ppl who may not be emotionally available. I'm speaking from experience...you don't need to do everything in a relationship and when someone isn't responding, you need to move on.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Personally, I think you did too much damage for it to go any further.

    It's annoying being asked constantly and you turned him right off. Especially if he already told you he didn't like that and you kept on.

    That guy is long gone and he's not looking back.

    It;s best you let it go and don't make the same mistakes with the next guy.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You're going to ask AGAIN?

    No..please don't. You've already driven him away. Let...it...go.

    You turned something that should have been fun and easy going into work and stress.

    He doesn't want anymore of it.

  7. #16
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    I agree with Sherry and moving forward, it's ok that you feel anxious, no one should fault you for that but what is important is that you don't burden your partner with it by constantly seeking reassurance.

    It can become a vicious cycle -- you get anxious, seek reassurance, he becomes annoyed at that which causes you to become more anxious, seeking more reassurance, making him more annoyed, rinse, repeat.

    Learn to manage your anxiety on your own, for me, I do yoga and sometimes go running.

    I'm sorry but as Sherry said, I think you have pushed him to the point of no return.

    But lesson learned for next guy.

  8. #17
    Administrator kamurj's Avatar
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    Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.

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