Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: We dated 3 years, in a rebound before the days over with.

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    1

    We dated 3 years, in a rebound before the days over with.

    We dated for 3 years, had its ups and downs like any other, but was overall an amazing relationship and we were both in love. I guess I started not giving her enough attention and didn't realize it. 3 weeks ago I found out she went out with another guy, we talked the next day and she said she doesnt want to get hurt anymore and it was pretty much decided we were taking a break.

    Come a week later we went out on a date, everything was perfect, she said she missed me and I love you more times than I can remember. She said she made a mistake and we were going to fix what we had. Come a few days later everything was fine but I could tell something was up so I would ask for reassurance that we were okay. Come just the other day she said I love you I said I love you too. Then I asked if we were okay and she said she promised we were then I asked "Are you okay, some things off" and she said we need to talk. Ever since then weve practically been in no contact and shes been with the other guy.

    (A little back story I'm 20 in college, shes 18 about to start college. Shes always had issues when it comes to dealing with emotions and telling people no. Shes had a rough life and i can understand that, she is immature for her age and doesnt realize a relationships is all sunshine and rainbows. So I'm hoping this situation will help her grow and im hoping college will too.)

    So weve been in no contact for a few days, and shes posting all kinds of stuff about this new person (complete opposite of me) I'm hoping this is just a rebound thing and she will figure this all out on her own sooner than later. Her birthday is in 2 weeks and its going to kill me not seeing her then... should I break no contact to tell her happy birthday? I'm assuming short and sweet would be the way to go.

    Either way I'm hoping she will be back to talk about us and fixing us, you cany just leave a 3 year relationship and get in one immediately after and be okay can you? Once he starts back school they wont be together and we will be in college together, I'm hoping this will shine some light in what shes actually doing). At the moment everything seems perfect with them but that's just false love i assume. Trying to rush things to where we were in our relationship. I'm going ti better myself while were apart and hope she figures her stuff out soon

    What should I do?
    Do you think shell be back ?
    I just need any reassurance at this point. Thanks for reading.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Surrey BC, Canada
    Posts
    1,380
    Gender
    Female
    Dude I hate to say it but, you both are way too young to be committing yourself to one person. She's going to college and there will be a buffet of guys there and she knows this.....it's normal to want something different as you go into adulthood. It's a different life...away from home, on your own, making new friends, etc. She may want to give it another try, but doubtful it's going to last. BTW this has nothing to do with you, or being bored.....it's instinctive to want to explore your options, try new experiences, date different people. It hurts in the gut, but this is true life...

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    12,384
    She's been with you since she was 15????

    I would expect a teenager to be immature. Not in a negative way, but how can she become mature unless and until she has life experience?

    I know you don't believe it now, but once you get back to school you may find you're having too much fun to want to go back to a teen romance.

    And yep, I'm old and I don't get it, but mine is the voice of experience. Seriously.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    2,144
    Usually a rebound relationship is a springboard to the next rebound - not a boomerang back to the ex. Don't hold out hope, she's going through a huge life change and it's out with the old and in with the new. It sucks a lot... but you can find someone new too eventually. Maybe do a little bit of self care first rather than rushing off to your own rebound though.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    9,357
    This isn't a rebound. This was her outgrowing your relaitonship and leaving you for someone else.

    Rebounds are usually for the broken-hearted dumpee looking to a fill void, so they find anything to fit in that void just to make the pain go away. That isn't what happened here.

    Do I think her new relationship will necessarily last? No. But do I think she will be the one you stay with forever? No. She was a kid when she started dating you, and realistically, you won't be the guy she commits to for a lifetime. She had fun with you, but it's come to an end. She might come back and you two might have another go, but I do not believe she will stay back. She's barely an adult and especially with college right around the corner, she is going to leave those teen years behind pretty quickly.

    Sorry, man. I know it sucks. But this one is done.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    1,585
    Originally Posted by ParkerA
    We dated for 3 years, had its ups and downs like any other, but was overall an amazing relationship and we were both in love. I guess I started not giving her enough attention and didn't realize it. 3 weeks ago I found out she went out with another guy, we talked the next day and she said she doesnt want to get hurt anymore and it was pretty much decided we were taking a break.

    Come a week later we went out on a date, everything was perfect, she said she missed me and I love you more times than I can remember. She said she made a mistake and we were going to fix what we had. Come a few days later everything was fine but I could tell something was up so I would ask for reassurance that we were okay. Come just the other day she said I love you I said I love you too. Then I asked if we were okay and she said she promised we were then I asked "Are you okay, some things off" and she said we need to talk. Ever since then weve practically been in no contact and shes been with the other guy.

    (A little back story I'm 20 in college, shes 18 about to start college. Shes always had issues when it comes to dealing with emotions and telling people no. Shes had a rough life and i can understand that, she is immature for her age and doesnt realize a relationships is all sunshine and rainbows. So I'm hoping this situation will help her grow and im hoping college will too.)

    So weve been in no contact for a few days, and shes posting all kinds of stuff about this new person (complete opposite of me) I'm hoping this is just a rebound thing and she will figure this all out on her own sooner than later. Her birthday is in 2 weeks and its going to kill me not seeing her then... should I break no contact to tell her happy birthday? I'm assuming short and sweet would be the way to go.

    Either way I'm hoping she will be back to talk about us and fixing us, you cany just leave a 3 year relationship and get in one immediately after and be okay can you? Once he starts back school they wont be together and we will be in college together, I'm hoping this will shine some light in what shes actually doing). At the moment everything seems perfect with them but that's just false love i assume. Trying to rush things to where we were in our relationship. I'm going ti better myself while were apart and hope she figures her stuff out soon

    What should I do?
    Do you think shell be back ?
    I just need any reassurance at this point. Thanks for reading.
    She is not that immature. She just realised the relationship between you is over.
    Yes a little bit immature and insensitive to post about this new guy but thatís just how it is.
    If you donít want to see or read about it then block her.

    Yes of course you can leave a 3 yr relationship , get in another and be ok with it. But likely because she checked out long ago. Some people stay in relationships that donít make them that happy and suddenly meet someone that does even if temporarily and itís a great awakening.

    Telling someone you love them after 3 years is a habit and also something people say more often while checking out.
    Itís not intended to confuse , itís more about their own personal confusion.

    The relationship is well and truly over.
    No contact is in your best interest.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,784
    Gender
    Male
    Sorry this is happening but she's been seeing this guy and making up her mind. That is what all the hot/cold, on/off 'confusion" nonsense is about. She's too immature for you particularly since you've been dating since she was still playing with dolls.

    Date girls at college closer to your age and maturity level. Free yourselves so she can grow up and explore life and you are free to date college girls. Get more involved in your campus life..
    Originally Posted by ParkerA
    We dated for 3 years. shes 18 about to start college.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Deejmonster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Southern New Jersey
    Posts
    1,145
    Gender
    Male
    I agree with everyone above, as much as it hurts, the both of you are very young and I wish I would have listened to others' advice when I was your age. Take the time to heal from whatever you are feeling and get yourself back out there. College really isn't a time when you want to settle. When you are at that point in life, you tend to think you have everything figured out and really it is only the beginning. I would take the time to see other people and learn about yourself and what you want and don't want in a relationship. I understand that she may have had a rough upbringing but that isn't for you to try and fix. You have to find your own happiness in life.. don't let a relationship eat away at you.


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •