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Thread: LDR - Will he come back?

  1. #31
    Member mecastillo1987's Avatar
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    I wish I read this message sooner. Thank you for the advice.

    I ended up responding politely to my ex's dad, saying that I was dealing with things as best I could even though it's been difficult, but I also thanked him for supporting our relationship. (We were relatively close because he also used to videochat/talk to me a lot during my visits.)

    He responded hours later with, "I don't know what happened. But (ex's name) hasn't been himself these last few days. He's broken, hurting. I caught him doing this tonight." And then he attached a picture (taken from behind) of my ex hunched over a bar table, taking pebbles from a decorative pot and putting them together in front of him to make a heart figure. His hair was longer than usual and he lost weight.

    I couldn't reply anymore. Seeing that picture of him wasn't anticipated. I know his dad meant no harm. He truly supported us as a couple before. But my emotions came flooding back in and I suddenly felt a this wave of intense pain in my heart. I burst into tears and cried for two hours afterwards.

    In the first hour of crying, it took every fiber of strength in me not to reach out to him and comfort him.
    Last edited by mecastillo1987; 07-08-2019 at 12:00 AM.

  2. #32
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    Dad is now interfering where he shouldn't be. Sending you a message like that and a photo was completely unnecessary.

    Your ex doesn't need your comfort. Remember that. This was his choice, and there's no way of knowing if making pebble-heart art is because he's sad about the break-up or has something else on his mind that isn't related to you at all.

    You also concede that he has tried to end it before. He probably feels bad for hurting you, but he was already on his way out the door.

  3. #33
    Member mecastillo1987's Avatar
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    Yes, thank you. After a while I told myself he could just be 'hurting' as a necessary process for (hurting me, and) moving on; and not necessarily because he wants to get back together.

    It's been a little over a month since the break up, and 2 weeks since No Contact. I am able to function as normally as I possibly can on the outside. Inside, I still miss him. I've been reading a lot about codependency and learning about my attachment issues. I turn to music and a lot of meditation to help with my anxiety. I have yet to enrich myself physically by getting a gym membership. I'm scared of dating but have been open to the idea of testing out the waters locally as everyone had advised. *sigh*

  4. #34
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    I wouldn't worry about dating right now. It won't go well when your heart is still with your ex.

    Keep doing the other things you've mentioned though, to help you heal. Time is the true cure, but the other activities will help make the journey a little less rough.

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