Life in the Driver’s Seat (extended)

I took the mirtazipine last night and sleep , glorious sleep. Whenever I take it I get 12 hours of glorious sleep.

I'm happy for you. I got two pieced together hours and hope I will not be a danger to anyone on the road.

Got to hear voice messages from Pippy this morning!! Sooo happy!

To my Neighbour , please go live on an army base and shut up. I am so sick of your whining I could punch you in the face .

About the neighbour I was talking about , they are Army on an Air Force base. Unfortunately, many Army folks think they are the end all and be all. She does for sure. She makes all these half arsed comments about how the Army is superior and how she hates this toxic Air Force Base and it’s toxic spouses and blah blah blah and Air Force is stupid. They are moving to an Army Base in July thank God!! Bye don’t let the door hit you in the arse on the way out! But she’s the type of person who isn’t happy anywhere.

Today is my mammogram, at the hospital. 😒

They cancelled all diagnostic imaging but didn’t call anyone. 😒

I feel so bad for my son. He’s getting very depressed and resentful and angry. And he will accept no help. He is having such a hard time with the community because they have very little patience right now for the disabled. And being that he doesn’t look disabled they don’t understand that he is.

I called my dad ans he seems ok. My son talked to grandpa and he seems a little better.

I'm glad he's doing better.

I'm glad he's doing better.

My dad is better to him than ever was to me thankfully.

I can’t read my military spouses network board. They just stress me out.

So I made the decision I’m going to my mom’s on Thursday. My husband can’t come with me because he can’t go 50 km beyond the base unless a family member dies. So I am taking my son with me. I’m going to be picking up her taxes and dropping off masks to her. She is going to sit in her car and I will sit in my car and she can drop the bag in between the middle of two cars and I can drop the other bag in between the two cars and we can exchange bags one at a time. That way we can get her taxes done and she can get her cloth masks. It is going to be a 7 hour turn around for me though.

Five more months and 10 more payments and we are done paying for our truck! Thank God!

I hope the drive is quiet for you and you have a safe place for a toilet break if needed!

Remember the picnic!

Our big highway rest stops are still open thankfully . It will be the drive through Toronto that depends I think lately it’s been kind of quiet but sometimes it can take you five hours to get through that city because of congestion . I do have a transponder for the pay toll highway though .

I hope the drive is quiet for you and you have a safe place for a toilet break if needed!

Remember the picnic!

When my son and I did the cat exchange we just both wore masks and gloves. Can you do that rather than dropping stuff on the ground? I just have this extreme paranoia about things touching the ground but maybe you have a better attitude toward it than I do!

When my son and I did the cat exchange we just both wore masks and gloves. Can you do that rather than dropping stuff on the ground? I just have this extreme paranoia about things touching the ground but maybe you have a better attitude toward it than I do!

I don’t care about the ground really. I’ve lost my fear of things stuck on surfaces. My brain has just accepted that this is life and I’ll just stay away from the people. My mom just basically doesn’t want anybody near her other than my stepdad because she already has a fatal lung disease. If she gets it she will die for sure. My area is very low case count but my mom’s is very high. I actually have more exposure going there than staying here. She was terrified for me to come for that reason. But if she doesn’t get her taxes done after a while she won’t keep receiving her credits which she really needs. Plus she won’t get her income tax return. And they’re spending money on medical masks which they are now telling us to reserve for only medical personnel when I can give her the reusable cloth ones. Yeah I’m not too worried about the ground.

My son has now said he won’t come with me if he can’t see his grandparents properly he would rather not go. So I guess it’s going to be me on my own. ☹️

My brain knows the likelihood of catching it from a can of soup from the grocery store, from something placed on the sidewalk and then brought inside, from the car door handle, from the communal doorknob on the stairway door (that only 3 people use), etc., etc., is extremely small. But I'm the person who has a meltdown when my pants leg or sleeve brushes up against something I didn't disinfect or the railing on the back stairs.

Your attitude is much healthier. I am hoping to get there.

Sorry your son decided not to go. Wishing you a quick, safe trip.

My brain knows the likelihood of catching it from a can of soup from the grocery store, from something placed on the sidewalk and then brought inside, from the car door handle, from the communal doorknob on the stairway door (that only 3 people use), etc., etc., is extremely small. But I'm the person who has a meltdown when my pants leg or sleeve brushes up against something I didn't disinfect or the railing on the back stairs.

 

Your attitude is much healthier. I am hoping to get there.

 

Sorry your son decided not to go. Wishing you a quick, safe trip.

Well that’s the thing anxiety isn’t logical right? If we could logic it away nobody would have anxiety. I can totally understand where you’re at because I was there in the beginning and I’ve been there many times in my life not necessarily about services but other things in my life. I hope you get there too. Think I just woke up one day and decided that was it I’m done panicking and what will be will be because I can’t control any of it other than what I do. Even with anxiety it comes a time where it’s life or death from just from nervous exhaustion. I decided I was done.

So tomorrow I head out to my mom’s.

Safe travels.

Safe travels.

Thanks . Heading out in about an hour. I did find a box of nitrile gloves in our basement so at least I will have a mask and gloves.

I made it home again about 1.5 hours ago.

I'm glad you had a safe trip.

How is your mom doing?