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Thread: Tried to Kill myself. Can't even do that right!

  1. #1

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    Tried to Kill myself. Can't even do that right!

    Hello anyone!
    I hope this message finds you well.
    My gf of 3 years cheated on me. We broke up 3 weeks ago.Last night, i tried to hang myself, but the rope broke. Not my finest moment.

    I apologize for writing a lengthy message, but the tale has some meat to it. I just returned from the States, where I was trying to save some money to come and make films in my home-town. The decision to leave was not very easy, but I desperately needed some money. While i was away we made contact every single day either by phone or WhatsApp Video Calling. Things started pretty well. She was often moody complaining that I had left her alone but I continued telling her that all our friends and family are in our town that we live in. Any ways, about 2weeks before I was about to return home, she stopped messaging me as often as she used to. She started going out with new friends that I had never met(during the time i was home she never had many friends). Her "I love you" texts became very few.

    On the day of my arrival at the airport, I was greeted by my father and my best friend. But she was not there. She texted me 20mins later saying she thought i was landing at 11am, but she will meet me at the house. Once I got home she arrived 30mins later. The very first thing she said to me was " you are different". I'll probably never forget that. She came in, greeted my family and then asked if we could go for a drive.

    She stopped at this place and immediately asked me if I am doing another contract overseas. I said that I do not think so because I did not enjoy the work too much, but the money was good. She insisted that I do another contract, but that she will not be able to wait for me if I go. She then said that she think it would be best if we just stay friends.

    Obviously I could not sleep that evening and the next morning I texted her asking if we could go for dinner that evening. She accepted the invitation. So I spend my day hanging out with my friends whom I had not seen in a long time. Then my one friend asked me if me and my gf were still dating because some-one saw her with another guy. I tried to remain calm.

    That evening when i picked her up, we were driving and I asked the question. "What's his name?" She immediately started crying. It was a guy she met at my sister's wedding(which I missed because of work). I immediately turned the car around to take her home but she insisted that we talk.

    She told me that their are just friends. And when I asked her if they ever went on a date she said they only went to the movies. I asked her if she is in love and she said yes. I told her that it was cheating and she said "no it was not". I asked her why did she then not tell me about her going to the movies with another guy. She told me that she was angry with me because I lied to her about my past. She wanted to know how many woman I had slept with before her and I just did not want to tell her.

    She was at a party one night and one of the guys there told her that I've had numerous partners before her. I told her only a few. Because I knew that she would make a BIG deal out of it. During our relationship she always hammered me on my past.

    That night I was so angry and sad that I told her I do not wish to see her or hear from her. 10 Days later she goes and sleeps with the guy. The same guy she told me she did not leave me for, but that she left me because I lied about my past.

    We spoke 5 days ago, but it was such an awful experience. She continued telling me that she loves me and even made out with me and then told me that she really liked the other guy. She blames me for the affair. That I never made her a priority in my life. That I never made her my nr 1.

    I am ending this message as a completely broken man. I know I have many mistakes, but we could at least have tried to work things out. Instead she falls for another man.

  2. #2
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    "My gf of 3 years cheated on me. We broke up 3 weeks ago.Last night, i tried to hang myself, but the rope broke. Not my finest moment."

    Your finest moment lies ahead. The journey back from the dark side is a tough one, but it leads to great things.

    You have friends. Family. Aspirations. Dreams. Don't lose all of these things and all the potential you have in life because you have a broken heart. Broken hearts are awful, but look where you are? Welcome to the broken hearts club, where most of us have been cheated on, rejected, or just had relationships end in all sorts of disappointing circumstances.

    No woman is worth dying for. Especially not one who cared more about your past then the present.

  3. #3
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    Your life is so much worth more than this. Please consider your family and friends when these thoughts come. It would devastate them. Contact a suicide hotline. You should also seek therapy, as your reaction was extreme.

    She sounds needy and insecure, she is also a cheat. She is so not worth your life. Please go complete NC and block.

    How long were you gone?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    So sorry dude. Infidelity doesnít just cut like a knife, it cuts like 10 knives...!

    The suicide attempt is tapping into something deeper though. Itís not that easy either as youíve now discovered....In fact, apparently for every 20 attempts only one succeeds so please be careful yeh?

    Iím glad youíre still alive and Iím glad I am too. 2018 was an extremely dark year for me*

    So all this is causing trauma in you so it will take some time to recover.

    Please get the audio book ĎThe Journey from Abandonment to Healingí by Susan Anderson and start listening to it asap. It really is a godsend that book*

    Eat and sleep the best you can. You will have sleepless nights and nightmares for a bit as your brain starts to recover...but miss one night of sleep and youíll surely sleep the next night :)

    Take vitamin B for stress relief. Stay off the alcohol..!

    And start making steps away from your ex...She is heading for quite a fall*

    Carus*

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I know how you feel, I've been there. But I am so glad you are still here too and I hope you continue to find the strength to get past this.

    It's not easy. But it's possible. Don't look at it as a bunch of months and years ahead of you. That's too overwhelming for anyone.
    Take it as getting through one day at a time. One hour at a time if need be.

    You're not alone. Please consider getting whatever help/support you think you might need. Counselling, meds, talking with family or friends..whatever it takes.
    Post here anytime, we are all here for you.

  7. #6
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    The pain infidelity causes always comes as a surprise but it's still no reason to destroy your body.

    Dump her and go no contact.
    Get help for you suicidal thoughts.
    Finalize your working life.
    Begin your search for the girl you will marry. (She's looking for you right now!)
    Date with purpose, find her and marry her.
    Have a kids.
    Be true, affectionate, authentic, respectful and loving.
    Leave behind the secular husk of life forever.

    Live a FULL life!

    Happiness will be yours.

  8. #7
    Member EclipseCross's Avatar
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    Distance relationships are not for everyone.
    Hold on, some day pain will end and you will find love again. Good luck!

  9. #8
    Silver Member
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    Don't try to do that again. Don't. There is so MUCH to live for!

    She is not for you. Let her go. If you are suicidal, a relationship is the last thing that you need! And nobody needs to date a suicidal person; it is too difficult.

    You do need to reflect on your role in the break up. You lied to her. And then you were gone (NOT your fault at all, but definitely a stressor for any relationship) for a while. You need to be single for a while. Work on you.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by BillyGold
    She continued telling me that she loves me and even made out with me and then told me that she really liked the other guy. She blames me for the affair.
    Honestly, she sounds incredibly manipulative :/ Kissing someone, telling them you love them, and then telling them about their feelings for someone else, while blaming them for it. Who does that? I know you have deep feelings for her and that this must be incredibly painful (I've been there before and wanted to die as well) but, looking in from the outside, I want you to know she's not the one. You can do so much better, and like saluk said, your finest moment has yet to come, once you've pulled yourself out of this situation. Again, I've been there. I thought I'd never be okay again, but I did end up meeting someone a lot better. I wouldn't have ever believed it was possible had I simply given up earlier.

    Please keep going. You were not born merely to die over heartbreak. No way. Thank goodness that rope broke - please take this opportunity at another shot at life, no matter how much it hurts. I promise you you'll feel better one day, far better than ever before. Let time heal you. You will be alright again. I know we don't know each other, but trust me, I really do know what this feels like. Keep pushing through though. You're here, you made this post. It means there's still fight left in you. You don't want to actually give up, you just want the pain to end. And it will, if you give yourself a chance. Take care, and even if you don't believe it, I swear there's someone out there whose love for you will be far greater than this person's ever was. Guaranteed.


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