Call me when you get home

This is really more of a fun post... but this has been on my mind a lot lately - mainly because I fail miserably at it 😬 lol

Do you do this?

Twice this weekend, I was out with friends and at the end of the night they said “call/text me when you get home so I know you are safe!”. It’s so sweet. I guess the problem is that - as I start to drive away, I’m still thinking about them - but by the time I turn the corner, my mind wanders to other things. Do I have food in the fridge? Do I need to throw some laundry in? Oooh... it’s my dad’s bday soon - what am I going to get him? Hmmm... I better call Jody back, etc. So - by the time I get home, my mind has been through 40 different subjects and the LAST thing on my mind is the person I just left. 🤷♀️

I should mention, it was a beautiful summer night (no bad weather), no alcohol was consumed, I live in a great neighborhood (heck! My neighbor is a cop!). I left at a decent hour (before 11pm). There was really no reason for concern.

My girl friend just called me to “check in”. She was a bit miffed because I didn’t call/text to say I had got home ok last night, so she was checking if I was alive 😬

I really do feel blessed - it’s a great problem to have - but on a scale from 1-10... how bad of a friend am I? Lol!

Do you do this? Does it genuinely upset you if people forget to call?

We’ve never done this in my family. It’s just not something we do. So, it’s not something I’m accustomed to... (and I live alone - so I don’t call people when I get home from work? Or groceries? It’s just a bit weird to me...)

One of my best friends always asks me to call or text her when I get home safely and most of the time I forget for the same reasons as you [emoji24] fortunately she is a good sport about it! I feel guilty when she brings it up because I know she is just being a caring friend and I feel like an idiot for forgetting 🤦🏻♀️[emoji15]

Try not to lose sleep over this. I've forgotten, too. Maybe in the future, you can just send friends or family a quick text such as: "I'm home, thanks!" It's common courtesy since they're sincerely worried whether or not you arrived home safely.

It's common courtesy since they're sincerely worried whether or not you arrived home safely.

Is it, though? Lol! I guess that’s what I’m trying to figure out.

Maybe I should put a post-it on my closet door to say “call the person you were just with!” to remind me lol

Is it, though? Lol! I guess that’s what I’m trying to figure out.

 

Maybe I should put a post-it on my closet door to say “call the person you were just with!” to remind me lol

I do this more with friends now ... the news has gotten crazy.

https://people.com/crime/cops-mattress-search-mackenzie-lueck-instagram/

I don't do this. As in: I don't ask people to tell me they've made it home. "Get home safe," I say, assuming they will. Because I ride a motorcycle I get asked to let people know I make it home, especially at night, and I try to remember to let people know. I mostly remember. I used to make a kind of macabre joke—something to the effect of: "If I don't make it home safely, you'll end up hearing about it sooner than later"—but that didn't always go over well, so I've reigned it in.

Anyhow, the Post-It sounds kind of genius. Some people are worriers. When those people are our friends, I think it's worth a little effort to keep the worries at bay.

I do it, and I expect them to follow through.

You are not obligated to agree to do that. I'm just like you - I can have full intention of following through, but then my mind skips to the next thought. (Oh look, a squirrel!)

I think you could say "Thanks so much for thinking of me. I can't commit to that because I know I will forget by the time I'm home, and I don't want you to worry. But you are welcome to call or text me to check in, if you want."

If you tend to forget to call or text that you've arrived home safely, then tell your friends that you will not let them know after you come home. Plain and simple. Thank them for caring but let them know in advance before you leave that you will not call nor text upon arriving home.

If they persist and insist upon your contacting them after you get home, tell them they will be the first to know if you hadn't made it home safely or on time. Tell them to see you on 'First 48!'

My friends I do this after a night out, yes.

We live in a big city and we're expat women. It's simply a safety check for us.

This is funny to me because this was a thing way back when there were just landlines and people were fine with middle of the night calls in our big city. I always thought it was gentlemanly if men on a first date to ask me that.

I ask friends to let me know they've made it home alright, especially if there's been drinking. I'd of course prefer to hear back from them. They're not beholden to update me on their status, though. I don't get offended if they don't. The overwhelming statistical likelihood is they make it home without a scratch. And even if they didn't, the police aren't going to be issuing an APB that evening, and even if I wanted to grab a rifle and kick down doors, I wouldn't know where to start. It's not something I let keep me from sleep. Then again, if a friend of mine is obviously lacking faculties or situational awareness or is otherwise in a condition I'd have some real reason for worry beyond chance, they get the "choice" to crash on the guest bed or sober up.

Still, I try to be conscientious about getting back to someone who asks. There are times I've gotten distracted by a game of dominos on the street and my phone died while playing or I've come in the door and plopped straight onto the bed, but my track record is decent enough. Where I do notoriously fail to follow up is when people (particularly my mom) ask me to let them know a flight made it OK.

You don't need to feed her anxiety or report to her. Find a diplomatic way to get that point across.

I normally don't have a problem with this. Someone asks and they get an answer. I don't usually forget. I wish I had more insight than this but it's really that simple. I'm not offended by it. In some ways, it makes me feel cared for and it also seems to occur with deeper or longer-standing friendships. It seems natural to me that others care for each other that way.

We always say it and get it said to with all friends and family. I used to forget too but then I set an alarm to go off approximately when I should get home to remind me to text that we were in and a-okay.

Generally after a night out I text the person I left with to let them know that I arrived home safely and vice versa. It's actually nice when people care. The stories, some taxi drivers have told me about severely intoxicated passengers being left alone, aren't pretty.

I give a hug and say, "Thank you, but since I rarely remember to do that, it's best to consider no news as good news. You're welcome to send a ring my way later or tomorrow if you want to. Otherwise, this is goodnight."

I've learned not to set myself up badly by committing to anything I'm not likely to do.