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Is it ok for a man in his mid 40’s-early 50’s to party?


Gymgirl71

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I am speaking from experience..my ex was 45. He would drink heavy every weekend, and would say “it’s a cultural thing” I think that’s a cop out but that’s just me..I second guessed myself thinking maybe I’m judging but at 45, drinking all weekend long and at LEAST 2 days during the week and then laughing about it in the morning..it’s a huge turnoff..it’s like a frat boy..is it just me?

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ooooooooooooomg WHAT A KLLLLLLOOOOOSERRRRRRRRRR lol gurl u dodged a bullet BIG TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow what is he stuck in 1995 LOL??????
I don’t even know...he must be. I feel sorry for his a**...he thinks he is going to attract a mature woman acting this way...he called me laughing saying he has such a fun life..[emoji2961] I felt like I wanted to puke...he has mental issues but he’s not dealing with it and drinking away his troubles..don’t get me wrong he’s fun to hang out with if you feel like drinking..but that’s as far as it goes..smh
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I never really know what to do with posts like this.

 

I mean, I could answer your question directly, but it sounds like you're pretty hung up on a guy you're frustrated about still being hung up on. So, sure, we can all grab some darks and toss them at his face with you—partying at 45? OMG!—but does that really help? J.man can correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think the sarcasm of his post was directed at your ex's behavior so much as the context (and subtext) of this here thread.

 

If you couldn't imagine marrying him, and you want to be with someone you can imagine marrying, then you should be pretty stoked right now: free to pursue that, without worrying about this dude, how he chooses to live his life, and what we internet strangers think about it.

 

Hope that doesn't sound harsh. I just think you're looking for something to be angry about, or obsessed with, and my opinions about alcohol and drug use post 40 (probably more liberal than others on here) aren't really going to offer much of a toehold on the wall you're actually climbing.

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That's not a cultural thing, that a maturity thing. The frat boy who never grows up...sigh.

 

Don't waste your time.

It’s a done deal...we parted on good terms but that’s as far as it goes...I don’t hold grudges but I won’t beat a dead horse either.
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I am speaking from experience..my ex was 45. He would drink heavy every weekend, and would say “it’s a cultural thing” I think that’s a cop out but that’s just me..I second guessed myself thinking maybe I’m judging but at 45, drinking all weekend long and at LEAST 2 days during the week and then laughing about it in the morning..it’s a huge turnoff..it’s like a frat boy..is it just me?

Why did you even date him? How long did you date? On top of that, he was unreliable and flaked on you all the time.

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I don’t even know...he must be. I feel sorry for his a**...he thinks he is going to attract a mature woman acting this way...he called me laughing saying he has such a fun life..[emoji2961] I felt like I wanted to puke...he has mental issues but he’s not dealing with it and drinking away his troubles..don’t get me wrong he’s fun to hang out with if you feel like drinking..but that’s as far as it goes..smh

 

Why are you talking to him and why do you care about the behavior? He should be blocked.

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You sound angry about his "partying".

 

Are you angry with him because his partying ruined your relationship?

 

And why are you still speaking to him?

yes it ruined our relationship. He is an alcohol in denial and his only relationship is with alcohol.
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"How can I stop allowing myself to be treated like an option?

Scenario goes like this: I was always too available, I literally never said no..maybe once. He would make plans a few days before but then if he wanted to hang out another day I would say yes, and half the time he would cancel 😏 then he went from texting and calling all the time, to me doing most of the texting..he would call on his own and only then would he call. The ultimate blow was him saying “maybe” we would hang out a certain day and saying he will let me know the day before. That tells me he doesn’t value me. He isn’t a business owner or have a lot going on."

You need to take the focus off of him, and put it entirely on you. Address why you stayed in and allowed any of this.

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