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Thread: breaking up advice

  1. #1
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    breaking up advice

    Hello all,
    I am a 29-year-old girl currently living in Italy. I have been dating this guy for more than 2 months and he invited to a family lunch with parents and grandparent in his city which was very far from ours. He is so nice and all but the problem is I think he is going so fast and I can't keep up with his pace. I have this feeling if he gets tired of me soon and I have some intimacy issue because of my constant fear of getting dumped, as a result, I am always the first one who breaks up and this time is the same. but he looks so nice and charming. despite all these facts, I have heard tons of bad stories about Italian men and their short-lasting love. I don't know what to do now. should I break up with him? I live alone in this country and after getting dumped by him I will collapse I know myself.
    Thanks for your help and sorry for my broken English :)

  2. #2
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    Well I must admit I'm not completely familiar with Italian culture and Italian men. Although it seems to me like in most cultures, if a guy takes you to meet his family, that means he really likes you and potentially sees a future with you? I mean after two months it sounds OK to meet the family. If you feel like it's too fast though, I think it's fine that you personally feel that way and you should be honest with him about that. You could ask to wait a bit longer to meet his family.

    I understand feeling nervous that someone is going to dump you, but dumping them yourself first because of your own insecurities doesn't sound healthy. I don't think that just because this guy is Italian that he's a stereotype of every single Italian guy. There's a chance that he's not just a "fleeting lover" and he may actually really like you.

    What brings you to Italy? Are you working or studying there? If you are all alone there, have you tried making some new friends? I think that putting the importance of your whole life on this guy is not good either. You're so scared that he'll dump you because you have nobody else. I think you should also try to make some friends or at least acquaintances to spend time with too. Maybe do some hobbies. I think it's important to also have your own life and be an independent person.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I think it's a good sign that he thinks you're worthy enough to be introduced to his family! He is going to ask his family's approval of you after they meet and get to know you a bit. He's going to ask their opinion of you. I think it's a form of respect that he thinks that highly enough to want you to meet his family.

    Try not to feel so paranoid. Take it slow, establish good friendship first with him and get to know him better. However, beware of charming men. They're a pretentious lot which is not enduring. Tread lightly.

  4. #4
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    Is it really because of your insecurity or is there something about him that you are not admitting that you don't like? Tell him you need to slow down a little!

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  6. #5
    Your feelings come first in my opinion but being honest is very important if you want to keep the relationship tell him to slow down

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Replied in your other thread about this: [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by goly
    I have heard tons of bad stories about Italian men and their short-lasting love.


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