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Thread: tired of my wife overreacting to everything.

  1. #1

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    tired of my wife overreacting to everything.

    i really need help guys, my wife over reacts to the tiniest issue and makes it a huge deal. how do i handle this?

    for example: we have a son 6 years of age. when he was young he was fed bread and butter or anything with bread without the crust(the hard outer part of the bread) now he is 6 and he obviously can eat the whole bread but doesnt want to until the crust is removed. i tried the rewarding approach and told him that if he eats the whole bread any day he gets 1 point, and after 20points i will reward him with a gift.
    now i may be wrong for this approach but i dont think i deserve to be looked at like a criminal for this.
    however my wife reacted that way. ,"how can you do this to him? how can you force him to eat full bread. you have no right to reward him over food and eating habits. ask anyone and they will tell you how bad it is to do this to a child. you are traumatising him".

    traumatising a child by offering him a reward to drop an extravagant habit?
    she made this issue like i had just committed a grave crime.

    this is always the case. i can no longer even sit to talk with her beacause we may be discussing one issue and then next thing she is arguing with me about something that doesnt relate to us or accusing and fighting with me about something i have never done. fighting with me that i might do it.

    if we have 2 different opinions and she thinks she is right then i must think thats right aswel, otherwise am looked at like a criminal. and later she tells me why cant we agree to disagree. if we disagree then why does she make it such a fuss?

    please help me deal with this.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    What is your NEED to have this boy eat the crust? I think you are the one that is overreacting to this particular situation and it is you that is making a big deal out of nothing.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    I used the reward system, it was fun for all of us and it worked.

    I can understand why a parent would want to encourage their 6 year old to eat bread crust. If you continue with the special meals, you will end up with a fussy child.

  4. #4

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    there is no need, please read carefully. i said i may be wrong. maybe my approach was wrong, but is it really a big deal for the wife to turn it into a fight?

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  6. #5
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    Marriage counseling? They can help ďfine tuneĒ your marriage and communication skills as a couple. Itís not only for couples about to breakup.

    I donít think thereís anything wrong with your system. I think itís normal for two individuals trying to co-parent to sometimes have different opinions about techniques. The key is compromise. Sometimes itís your way, sometimes itís her way (but not with the same subject - ie: you compromise on which battle to pick with each other, not give conflicting messages to the child).

    Sounds like normal stuff to me... but it also sounds like you donít trust each other. She doesnít trust you not to traumatize your child (?) and you donít trust her to sometimes take your point of view into account.

    Could probably use a tune-up before things deteriorate further. Maybe there are deeper things at play.

  7. #6

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    Originally Posted by Camber 2019
    I used the reward system, it was fun for all of us and it worked.

    I can understand why a parent would want to encourage their 6 year old to eat bread crust. If you continue with the special meals, you will end up with a fussy child.
    yes and thats what i thought, there are orphans around the world who would happily eat the crust as a meal for the day, and so i thought i am doing something good by teaching my child not to waste away food by the reward approach. my son isnt fussy at all with food. i wouldnt mind if he refuses to eat the crust either but it always good to teach your child the value of every grain of rice. in this case wheatpowder.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    If you are worried about wasting food then have your wife save the crusts and grind them up for bread crumbs. Stop making such a big deal out of it for goodness sakes there are more important things to be ironed out in your marriage than what you son eats or doesn't eat for goodness sakes. The fact that he is eating the sandwich in general is most important. Bribing him so that you get your way is beyond unnecessary.

  9. #8
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    If you are worried about wasting food then have your wife save the crusts and grind them up for bread crumbs. Stop making such a big deal out of it for goodness sakes there are more important things to be ironed out in your marriage than what you son eats or doesn't eat for goodness sakes.
    TWT - with all due respect, I think the OP is using the bread story as an example of what is going on with his marriage. Sounds to me as if his wife has some other issues she is not talking about...

  10. #9
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Camber 2019
    TWT - with all due respect, I think the OP is using the bread story as an example of what is going on with his marriage. Sounds to me as if his wife has some other issues she is not talking about...
    With all due respect right back at you, Camber...
    If he is just using it as an example, why the need to talk about starving people and the value of every grain of rice? If the Op has an issue with his wife/marriage then why make his son the focus? Why say she is making a big deal out of things when he is doing exactly the same thing?

    Yes, I think his (apparent) controlling nature and her response to it indicates bigger fish to fry in his marriage but that is not what the opening post is about. It is about his kid and his need to make him eat the crust.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Is it only related to parenting? Is she the primary caregiver and/or stay at home mom?

    You are both equal parents, of course you 'have a right' to parenting your child too.

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