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Thread: He asked for divorce twice after 2 months of marriage

  1. #1

    He asked for divorce twice after 2 months of marriage

    Hi,
    I would like to share my experience and have your insights. My husband and I got married after 2 years of dating and we can't communicate anymore! He gets angry very fast, I am not saying that I don't have any part in this because he explained to me that he never felt heard, that I don't listen to him! But when he starts talking it always starts with a negative thing so I shut down and I move. Now i feel like he is using the marriage and the second time that he brought it, he said that I have 3 days to pack. My theory is that he is using the marriage to get what he wants but the problem is for me everything went well until now. He said that he tried to communicate his feelings with me and it never came across!! Today I am writing here because we just had an argument and he locked himself. I have no idea how to approach things anymore!!

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Well, he canít kick you out of your home. Personally, couples counselling is probably something that is needed to learn to communicate.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    First, Sera's right. He can't just kick you out within 72 hours. You've got rights.

    Second, while not impossible, I highly doubt this is just some 180 after two years of happiness. What are the negative things he brings up? What specifically are you arguing over? How old are you two? There's something to be said for marital counseling, but there's also some wisdom in calling it quits while annulment is still fairly streamlined. We don't have a lot of details to work with, though.

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    Why did you get married if these problems existed?

    If he does not agree to couples counseling, then seek out a lawyer. Is there somewhere you can go, as this sounds like a miserable situation.

    Who's home is this?

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  6. #5
    That's what I want to explain, he said he was never happy with me but he was waiting for me to be in a better situation ( I quit my job to start a business)because my job was very stressful before. He said that he was waiting for change after that and that he never felt listened to. I have to say that what is important for him is not that important for me and vice versa. For me I was as good as I could but not for him! We are not talking about divorce anymore but our relationship still in trouble

  7. #6
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    What kind of "business" did you start? How's your business going? How much positive cash flow do you have coming in? For instance, if you being a financial contributor to the household is something that "matters to him but not to you," that'd have me pretty quick to part ways. It sounds like you started a marriage on unstable financial grounds, which is probably the worst thing you could do.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by MELISSA999
    That's what I want to explain, he said he was never happy with me but he was waiting for me to be in a better situation ( I quit my job to start a business)because my job was very stressful before. He said that he was waiting for change after that and that he never felt listened to. I have to say that what is important for him is not that important for me and vice versa. For me I was as good as I could but not for him! We are not talking about divorce anymore but our relationship still in trouble
    I cannot fathom why you would stay in this mess, Your relationship has no future, if it has never been good. I do not get any if this!

  9. #8
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    So he was never happy with you but married you ? What? He is full of you know what. He lacks communication skills too.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by MELISSA999
    Hi,
    I would like to share my experience and have your insights. My husband and I got married after 2 years of dating and we can't communicate anymore! He gets angry very fast, I am not saying that I don't have any part in this because he explained to me that he never felt heard, that I don't listen to him! But when he starts talking it always starts with a negative thing so I shut down and I move. Now i feel like he is using the marriage and the second time that he brought it, he said that I have 3 days to pack. My theory is that he is using the marriage to get what he wants but the problem is for me everything went well until now. He said that he tried to communicate his feelings with me and it never came across!! Today I am writing here because we just had an argument and he locked himself. I have no idea how to approach things anymore!!
    "he always starts with a negative so I shut down" - why don't you let him finish - listen to all he has to say, and don't put up a wall if the first thing that comes out is negative. Someone who does not feel heard needs someone to listen. I am going to strongly suspect not everything was peachy before - you just ignored it or you managed because every time he would bring up a concern you did not want to hear it. I am not saying he is totally in the right either, but either he is a jerk or he is not and something is at the breaking point.

    I have friends who have been married 20 years. Their marriage started off with a bang because the wife was verbally abusive because thats how her family talked. The husband laid down the law and said "I don't know if you are aware, but this is is what i hear when you talk to me. I won't put up with being abused or belitteled." she honestly had NO IDEA how she sounded and their marriage has been strong since. She was not a mean spirited person and loved her husband but she was talking in a way she didn't realize.

    How is he "using the marriage to get what he wants?"

    Or you can call his bluff and pack.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    So he was never happy with you but married you ? What? He is full of you know what. He lacks communication skills too.
    well.,..my ex said he never wanted to marry me so I get what that is like

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