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Thread: Should I be jealous?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    British Columbia, Canada
    I agree with the other members and your instincts. I don't think this is appropriate behaviour.

    I'm only wondering what would motivate a person to behave like this. Do you both have other underlying issues (imbalance in finances or one paying or shelling out more than the other/one person more dependent on the other)? What other social pressures are keeping both of you together? Most individuals would be able to recognize and self-correct this type of behaviour because of some conscience. He seems to have pushed through those usual limits and understandings and is going out of his way to prove to him and you that this is not what it appears to be.

    If you have a history of controlling him or creating too many boundaries, he may be severely desensitized to your thoughts and emotions over time. This is no excuse to stay in an unhealthy relationship. People normally exist in unhealthy relationships because of external forces/pressures or inability to get out or they're doing it because they don't know any better (naive). I think only you know the roots of this dynamic. Whatever both of you are doing to try and correct this, it is not working.

    Try getting back to yourself and asking yourself what you value in a relationship. Trust? Honesty? Kindness? Respect? Go back to the basic traits of what type of relationship you are looking for. Work outwards and go from there.

  2. #22
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    If he's going on a hike with her the appropriate thing for him to do is extend the invitation to you and her boyfriend or one of her friends.

    I would feel extremely uncomfortable with that. I see this as cheating honestly. I see it as some kind of date, he just met this girl and now he's going on this one on one hike with here to get to know her better? That's a date in my eyes.

    If he doesn't extend the invitation to you, you need to extend it to yourself and tell him you want to go as well. Don't make a fuss about it, dont drip jealousy while asking if you can go, be genuinely interested.

    His reaction will tell you everything you need to know. If he's being honest with his intentions, you tagging along shouldn't be an issue.

    And after you have a successful hiking date with him and her, you can always go to the next one too... there is NO excuse why he should he one on one with her. IF ANYTHING, it would be different if she had a friend tag along but there should he no reason they need to be alone and spend one on one time with each other.

    If they want to talk about their interests over texts, that's cool. But them going off by themselves isn't a good look.

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