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Thread: Should I be jealous?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
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    >>Me (21F) and my boyfriend (21) have been dating for just over 3 years and have lived together for 1 year. <<


    Notwithstanding your "controlling" nature and his manipulative, cheating nature, sweetie you have been with this guy for three years, since you were 18. Based on that alone, chances of this working out are slim to none, emphasis on none.

    My advice? End it gracefully and enjoy your youth, meet and date other guys, find out what's out there, enjoy your life!

    Honestly, you don't need this crap and bullshyt in your life, especially at such a young age.

    I'm so sorry, I know it hurts but you have your entire life ahead of you, wish him well and walk away.

    Good luck.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by RazzRazz
    He said that he wants more friends that have similar interests.
    Fair enough, but since you mentioned you love hiking too, he should have told you to come along. I donít think this early morning hike thing is appropriate, and itís pretty disrespectful too, like he doesnít care you are upset.

  3. #13
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kim42
    Fair enough, but since you mentioned you love hiking too, he should have told you to come along.
    - Yup.

    Its's not controlling to get upset about your boyfriend telling you he likes another girl and going on a date with her. Those are not nice things for him to do.

  4. #14
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    Time to lose the bf. How inappropriate to take an early morning hike-which you are not invited to- and excessive texting.

    A lot of boundaries being pushed. This guy is having an emotional affair. He likes her, and none of this is cool.

  5.  

  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by RazzRazz
    He said that he wants more friends that have similar interests.
    He likes her more than a friend.

    Why doesn't he have friends?

  7. #16
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    "I'm OK with my boyfriend telling me he fantasizes about leaving me and starting over with a new girl," SAID NO ONE. EVER.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this is happening. Is this a LDR? When did you live together? Unfortunately it sounds like he's playing head games to goad you. Don't take the bait. Distance yourself from this. He's doing this to puff his ego at your expense. Don't put up with this.
    Originally Posted by RazzRazz
    have lived together for 1 year.
    About a week ago he met this girl at college who has many common interests with him and he told me a lot about her. He then went on to tell me how somtimes it is appealing to just leave me and start over

  9. #18
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Since control is a hot button issue that you're trying to take responsibility for, he conveniently used it against you so he could misbehave and then try to make you feel guilty for stating your discomfort over his hiking date with a woman he's attracted to.

    Very convenient.

    I can't help but wonder how controlling you really are. . or how much of this is about him gas lighting you into believing you are?

    Since I have been working on my controlling behaviour I feel that there is not much room for me to even suggest he not see her alone.
    Relationship boundaries are healthy and control is not. He can't misuse and confuse the two at his convenience.
    Or -the two of you don't seem to know the difference.

    Bottom line, you two seem to bring out the worst in each other.
    Last edited by reinventmyself; 06-28-2019 at 04:33 PM.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RazzRazz
    He said that he wants more friends that have similar interests.
    I find your tendency to defend his excuses really interesting, considering you are worried enough about the situation to make a post on this forum.

    Your boyfriend is going on a date with a woman he outright told you he has feelings for while he is in a relationship with you. I know that is a painful reality to accept, but digging your head in the sand is not a good idea either.

    You don't have to tolerate his behavior. Whether or not you've been controlling in the past, you do not deserve his accusations regarding this specific situation. Leave him before he monkeybranches to this girl!

  11. #20
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by loyal
    "I'm OK with my boyfriend telling me he fantasizes about leaving me and starting over with a new girl," SAID NO ONE. EVER.
    Right. "Take a hike..." is more like it.

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