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Thread: Friend attempted suicide

  1. #1
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    Friend attempted suicide

    My good friend who I live with attempted suicide. I woke up on a usual morning to go to work (we also work together and were due to be in work in an hour) and his door was wide open, lying lifeless half off his bed, his head on the floor. Surrounded by empty pill packets. I checked him and thankfully still breathing. I rang an ambulance and they guided my through what to do until they arrive.

    They kept him in for a couple of days

    He is getting help and he's gone to stay with family .

    I'm having crazy anxiety right now. I can't sleep or eat etc. And as I'm away from my home town I don't have anyone to talk to.

    I'm very angry also which is confusing and I'm feeling horrible to feel that way considering he obviously needs support right now.

    He has tried this before. 2 years ago. He wasn't awake and cause we car pool I checked see if he was awake and found empty pills and a bloody razor blade in his room but his car was gone. Phone off. I had rang the hospital and found him. He had told me later that hed taken the pills and changed his mind so drove to the hospital.

    I needed to start taking anti anxiety meds after that as it messed my head up.

    I really don't want to take those again.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Let him stay with family. Ask them to help him move out into a safer environment. He's too unstable and fragile to be a roommate. You can't monitor him 24/7 or be a live in psychiatrist. He may try again and succeed. It's way too much stress on you. Don't let his life be in your hands or on your shoulders. Did he move in when your gf moved out? Where did he live 3 mos ago?
    Originally Posted by sidart
    He has tried this before. 2 years ago.
    Last edited by Wiseman2; 06-28-2019 at 07:59 AM.

  3. #3
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Please call your dr and ask to talk to a therapist. Witnesses to life threatening events need help as well. You are a good friend but he needs professional help you canít provide. It is also very normal to be a angry. Please get yourself some help so that you donít return to an anxious state . Your roommate also cannot return because he is not in any place ready to be a roommate .

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    The members above have offered a lot of solid advice. I am just here to lend support. I'm very sorry. A highschool friend's boyfriend passed away with suicide when we were 16 and my neighbour's sister took her life also. It was a long time ago (I think when we just didn't pay much attention to mental health back then or warning signs or for a need for help) but both of those events hurt everyone a lot. It took years and years to wrap my head around it and still can't seem to. When I go back to my old neighbourhood I still feel sad sometimes. I also don't feel he's stable enough to live on his own or be your roommate. I see you've tried to help perhaps by being there and being the one to monitor him or give him a chance to feel like himself. I hope he gets better soon.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    I am so sorry for what youíve gone through. Youíre allowed to be angry - youíre allowed to feel whatever you feel.

    Find a really good therapist. Theyíll help you talk through these issues and unpack them. You will also be given coping mechanisms.

    I know you know this, but this isnít your fault. I hope your friend recovers and thrives, but donít forget that you have something to recover from too.

  7. #6
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    First, you are to be commended for helping your friend!
    Second, your friend's actions have absolutely nothing to do with you.
    Third, it would be strange if you weren't feeling some anxiety (and possibly PTSD) after experiencing that kind of trauma.
    Fourth, you need to see your doctor and a therapist as soon as possible. Don't wait to schedule an appointment.
    Fifth, it is totally natural to be angry. Your friend put you in a very scary situation and inadvertently involved you in his own mess.
    Sixth, you might want to rethink you roommate situation. Perhaps your friend needs long-term care (and YOU are not his doctor).
    Seventh, you will get through this. You did the right thing. You are strong.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sidart
    I'm very angry also which is confusing and I'm feeling horrible to feel that way considering he obviously needs support right now.
    My heart goes out to you. It's natural to feel angry. Suicide attempts are a hostile and manipulative act that don't consider outcomes or anyone else, at all.

    While I can appreciate that you want to be supportive to friend, I'd pack his belongings and pick an appropriate time to ask the family whether your should move them to their home, or whether they'd prefer to make other arrangements to collect them. If you can, the best transition might be to move his belongings to public storage and give the key to family when you visit along with the address. Tell them how long the storage bill is paid, and ask the storage facility for any paperwork necessary to transfer responsibility and release to someone else.

    This is not your fault, and it's also not your responsibility to live with someone who can't be trusted to, well, ...live.

    This doesn't mean you need to nix the friendship, but it does mean that this friend is in waters that are far too deep for you to take on as a responsible party. Your home needn't be a minefield where you question every day whether you'll be forced to deal with another attempt or worse.

    Meanwhile, consider getting your own therapy and medical care. Meet with a therapist for an assessment and also a referral to a support group for those who love someone who is suicidal.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    A person who attempts suicide, must be in a great deal of pain to do something like that. They're not trying to cause anyone else pain, they are trying to escape their own.

    I don't believe it's selfish. I think they aren't well and aren't thinking straight and need help.

    But the fact still remains that this has affected you and you need someone to talk with as soon as possible. I mean like a counsellor or a therapist.
    You need help sorting through your feelings in all of this too.

    I hope you get the support you need as soon as you can. As for the anxiety pills, don't feel bad for them, feel lucky to have them. Think of the people 100 years ago who had no option and had to suffer it out.
    The pills will help and they will settle your nerves down to some degree where it's manageable.

    I don't believe your friend meant to inflict pain on you. He wasn't thinking straight and needs as much help as possible. (Professional help).
    You can't help him and no one should expect you to do more than you already have.

    You might want to consider moving to a different location as well as it will help to move past all of this.

    I am sorry you're going though this and I hope your friend is okay.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    If you can't get into a counsellor right away, try calling a helpline. I'm not sure where you're located but most countries offer them.

    I hope you're okay (hugs).

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You must have known this friend had problems with drugs and mental health. Were you desperate to cover the rent when the gf moved out a couple months ago? Try to address the issues with choosing "moody" ,"crazy" and substance abusing roommates and gfs. As far as this latest roommate. You need to have him move back to where he was a couple of months ago. Find other people to carpool with.
    Originally Posted by sidart
    04-23-2019

    As time went on we got close, things were great, we moved in together. 6 months from moving in the cracks began to show. We split, she moved out.


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