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Thread: Girlfriend admits she is lazy in bed

  1. #1

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    Girlfriend admits she is lazy in bed

    Hello all,

    Have been with my girlfriend 4 years next month and our sex life hasn't been great since the new year.

    I feel I have just got too used to it being the way it is, I am 27 and she is 25 and we average sex i would say once every 10 days.

    I do not bring it up often with her as we do not tend to get very far, we don’t argue as such its more of a disagreement about it. We last spoke about it a couple of days ago, she said she doesn’t feel like I make enough effort to come onto her.

    I used to always initiate sex and due to her being lazy (which she admits) I have got very tired of doing all the work and because she does not enjoy giving oral, when I do not initiate it results in us going 7-10 days without sex.

    She is my third girlfriend and is the first girlfriend I have had who is so against giving oral. This is not the end of the world for me but it is a major reason in why we do not have sex often. I really enjoy making her feel good and am down for trying anything whereas she is very stubborn and does not like experimenting much.

    She doesn't like giving oral, me ejaculating anywhere other than inside her freaks her out and I just feel she needs to grow up a bit to be honest, she is 26 soon after all not like she has just turned 18. I just feel like if she was to relax more and realise we both need to enjoy sex then things would be a lot better and the chemistry between us would come back.

    I am not after sex everyday but I feel we should be averaging twice a week at least, i feel that is a good amount. Any advice as to how we can improve this and how I can slowly get her over her fear of oral? I do not want oral countless times a week but I haven't had it in almost 3 months now so is quite frustrating especially as I give her oral every time we have sex and she gets 2/3 orgasms every time. (I am 6.5 inches by the way so not too big and do not force oral when she does do it, i think its more of a fear of me ejaculating whilst she is doing it but I have openly said to her countless times I do not expect her to swallow but she still says she cant do it.

    Thanks in advance

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately you sound quite entitled, stubborn, lazy and demanding. Having preferences is not "immature". Have the guts to break up if you are unhappy, incompatible and obsessed with bjs.
    Originally Posted by BD1992
    she does not enjoy giving oral, when I do not initiate it results in us going 7-10 days without sex. She doesn't like giving oral, me ejaculating anywhere other than inside her freaks her out and I just feel she needs to grow up a bit

  3. #3

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    I am not obsessed with bjs, going 3 months without one is not someone who is obsessed.

    I just don't think it is fair of her to expect me to do everything I can to pleasure her when she cant do something so simple like a BJ to satisfy her boyfriend of 4 years.

    I enjoy making her feel good and pleasuring her, I feel like sh1t if i don’t but with her she doesn’t seem half as fussed and she wonders why I don't come onto her.

    I have just become really tired of her getting 2/3 orgasms every time we have sex and me getting mine the same way every time.

    She said last time we spoke about it that she would make more effort but she doesnt

  4. #4
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    In some long term relationships and marriages, the couples aren't even having sex. Maybe you should be happy for what you have.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Do you live together? There seems to be a lot of contempt and incompatibility. You can rant how unfair you think this is until forever, but the bottom line is you're not happy sexually and you are playing games out of resentment.
    Originally Posted by BD1992
    I just don't think it is fair of her to expect me to do everything I can to pleasure her when she cant do something so simple like a BJ to satisfy her boyfriend of 4 years. I have just become really tired of her getting 2/3 orgasms every time we have sex and me getting mine the same way every time.

  7. #6
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    I don’t think it has to do something with her age, and honestly this is not a nice thing to say about your girlfriend. If she doesn’t like oral sex, then you should respect it, and accept the fact you are not sexually compatible. But telling her to grow up is just rude, sorry. If you are not happy, maybe it’s time to end the relationship, and find someone who likes the same things as you do.

    Originally Posted by BD1992
    She doesn't like giving oral, me ejaculating anywhere other than inside her freaks her out and I just feel she needs to grow up a bit to be honest, she is 26 soon after all not like she has just turned 18. I just feel like if she was to relax more and realise we both need to enjoy sex then things would be a lot better and the chemistry between us would come back.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Call the cops.🍌😱
    Originally Posted by BD1992
    bjs, going 3 months without one

  9. #8
    Silver Member dundermiflin's Avatar
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    What happened in the new year that made her change, anything you can think of? I wouldn't be happy either if I was the one doing all of the pleasing and initiating; sure sex can go out the window in a marriage but you two are still young and unmarried. You might need to think about if you can live without sex (it may decline more over time) or if it's time to separate. I think it'll hurt her feelings if that's what breaks you two up, and I'm sure people will call you selfish, but sex is important in a relationship. See if there's a deeper reason for the decrease, and maybe try working on that.

  10. #9
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    I don’t think OP is selfish, but he should respect his girlfriend’s preferences. If she doesn’t like giving oral sex, it doesn’t make sense to force herself to enjoy it. If OP thinks she’s too “stubborn”, as he says, then he needs to find a woman who likes experimenting.

  11. #10
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    Do you shower before becoming intimate? Maybe, there is an odor issue.

    Does not sound like you are compatible.

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