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Thread: On the topic of copycat friends

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Instagram food pics are old news now and no one has a patent on that activity. In fact you are "imitating" the millions of people before you who have established the IG food pics trend as a pastime years ago. Unless they are being paid as 'influencers' it's a complete waste of time anyway.

    It seems there is too much rivalry and jealousy between you and your bf's brother's gf so back away from all of it. Stop hanging out there as much when she's there. Go out with your bf one-on-one more often and don't trash talk his brother's gf. It comes to no good.

    If she annoys you, distance yourself and focus on your own friends. Delete and block her from all your social media and you'll solve your own problem.
    Originally Posted by breean
    I noticed that Alice would go to the same restaurants/cafes a few days after me and post the same thing on her instagram. One day, her boyfriend told me excitedly that Alice made a food Instagram, and she gets really happy when she gets new followers or her pictures get featured.

  2. #12
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    I think Alice is a little over the top but unless youíre at the level of being a paid food critic with an established ďbrand ď it just means that youíre lucky enough to have hours of time to surf the internet for places to dine and then drive long distances to dine there then create posts about it. Sheís not stealing your identity - just being annoying. Distance yourself from her and stop sharing as much as you do since it annoys you.

  3. #13
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    I understand it can be annoying, but maybe she just wants to get closer and be friends, she sounds lonely, why don't you do lunch and take food pictures together? If she's too annoying to hang out with, then distance yourself, you don't have to be friends.

  4. #14
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    I think that this is much ado about nothing. So what if she copies what you do? How does it affect your life one bit? Just laugh it off and stop making a problem where there isn't one.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by breean
    I or the cousins make sure to invite her. We play a lot of card/board games so we always ask her to join us. She either declines or if she does join in, she doesn't seem to enjoy herself. And if there's alcohol, her boyfriend intentionally doesn't bring her around because he doesn't want to have to deal with her drunk behavior.

    ... but still no one really knows her after almost 3 years.
    These are forms of trying to get attention. (Itís like vaguebooking - someone posting ęIím so sadĽ on social media without details, etc. Itís trying to provoke interaction and attention). Sheís trying to draw attention to herself - positive or negative.

    ... and again, it goes back to the insecurity thing. She likely feels that she doesnít have much to contribute - so she just goes for attention (which is also why people feel they donít know her. If she doesnít feel she has much to contribute she probs doesnít contribute that much leading people not to know her). It takes confidence and self-awareness to be yourself.

    The language thing is irrelevant. Iím sure there are English-speaking people that youíve had problems really integrating with (we all have). Itís a barrier that you have - but speaking the same language doesnít automatically bring you closer.

    Again - I think taking the high road and really trying to break through those barriers and get to know her - or simply adjusting privacy settings and ignoring her when it gets to be too much is the more attractive thing for you to do. Trash-talking or hating on people who mean no harm is never a good look - and it doesnít actually bring you closer to the people you want to integrate with - at least not for long (and it leaves a bad after-taste).

  7. #16
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    She is not stealing your identity. Do you wish you had developed a food blog first? Did she beat you to it? Maybe the places she goes are places that she learn about from you... I wouldn't trust a recommendation from someone who hasn't been somewhere, so I would think that in order to blog about it, she needs to visit the place.

    What is it about her that is making you jealous?

  8. #17
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by loyal
    She is not stealing your identity. Do you wish you had developed a food blog first? Did she beat you to it? Maybe the places she goes are places that she learn about from you... I wouldn't trust a recommendation from someone who hasn't been somewhere, so I would think that in order to blog about it, she needs to visit the place.

    What is it about her that is making you jealous?
    Agreed. It's entirely possible that she just admires you and thinks what you are doing is awesome enough to emulate. And really, isn't this what everyone does on social media? And how influencers are born? They post stuff and days later, 100 people are posting that they just bought exactly the same thing because someone else did. Consider capitalizing on the fact that you have someone that copies everything you do vs. being upset about it.

  9. #18
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    Yes it's perhaps a little weird and over the top what Alice is doing but I just want to point out that sometimes in life people do "copy" us and it's not always weird or trying to be a copycat. For example, I have really bad "food envy". I don't copy what food people post on Instagram but if I'm out for a meal with someone, I get jealous of their food or drink. I want to either try what they're having or order the same thing for myself. All my friends don't actually mind that and they usually let me taste a bit of their food. In return I always let them taste my food or drink too if they want to. It's not necessarily trying to be "copycat", but just trying to experience what our friends are experiencing.

    Also, with social media we may end up copying someone by doing what we saw them do, but that's just because we may be interested in it. E.g. I saw a friend posting on Facebook that she went to an animal farm and the photos looked cute. So I decided that in future I'd go there too. If I went there, I would also take photos and upload to social media because it's just what we do.

    I understand that copying a lot of what your friend does is a bit weird and does seem insecure but to be honest people do copy us in life and we also copy other people. Maybe it doesn't happen all the time but it does happen.

    Regarding Instagram no offence but you're acting like you're some kind of social media celebrity and like Alice is stealing your identity. Neither you nor her make any money from your Instagram, right? So really you are just putting up photos and people just follow you.

    The other thing too is that unless Alice is outright rude to you or your boyfriend and his brother's family, I don't think she necessarily has to be friends or super close with you guys. She just has to be polite. Maybe she's not really into card games so that's why she doesn't join you. Once a month my fiance has friends over to play video games or Dungeons and Dragons. I'm not into those things so I basically never join them. But I just say "hello" to his friends and act friendly.

    Why are you so concerned that Alice isn't close to the cousins, etc.? It's not really any of your business what she does with the family. Her boyfriend obviously likes her and wants to be with her. If you don't like her then don't be friends with her, that is fine. You don't have to be friends with people you don't get along with. Just act polite and focus on your own relationship with your boyfriend and do your own thing. You can't control other people.

  10. #19
    Gold Member Carnatic's Avatar
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    It sounds like Alice has social anxiety / low self-esteem and is just trying to fit in. You said that she doesn't involve herself as much with your boyfriend's family, but that can be very difficult. They sound quite close knit and you've integrated well from the sounds of things, but for other people it can be hard feeling like the outsider in a group like that. Does your boyfriend's social life revolve a lot around his brother and cousins? I'd find it quite awkward myself being in a social group where everyone else was related, because you know that in a sense you're never really part of that group. Everyone else's bond is lifelong whereas no matter how well you integrate, if you break up with the person who got you into that group then you'll be gone.

    Your boyfriend didn't like her because she was taking cups from the table during drinking games? That must be pretty hard for her, it's just a drinking game, it's not like her behaviour was totally inappropriate was it? In those situations people will banter and do things that would be inappropriate in other company but then just laugh about it and feel closer as a result. If you're not fully a member of the group it can be really tough knowing where that group's particular lines are.

    She maybe sees you as someone in the same situation as her, but handling it much better and feels that maybe she can learn a lot from you, but perhaps doesn't really know how to learn from you beyond simply emulating you.

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