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Thread: Breaking up with hook up and moving on?

  1. #1
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    Breaking up with hook up and moving on?

    So I have been hooking up with this guy since April. At first, we were just well, a hook up. We didn't really care about each other's lives on the outside of that. But as time went on, I guess we kind of developed a friendship. He told me he's felt comfortable the most with me out of almost all women and that I understand him and I don't judge him. We can talk about anything. He said he sees me as a close friend. This was discussed last week. Well, in the midst of all this, of course I was developing feelings. And I have been ever since. I've been depressed for a few days because he told me he doesn't want me to fall in love with him. My heart just shattered. And I've been depressed about it. He came over last night and I just wasn't really into it. I didn't feel like I was "there" If that makes sense.
    He doesn't know any of this. He knows in the beginning, about the 1 1/2 months in, I was catching feelings but I told him they went away. But he told me the feelings thing will always be in the back of his mind. And whether how I feel has any relation to it. It definitely is but I wont tell him that. The other night I told him I think I might just stop hooking up but he doesn't want to. I've been thinking about blocking his number and Facebook but I dont want to make him feel bad when he finds out I did. Should I just block him and move on anyway?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    This isn't working for you. You want more, he doesn't. I think to be fair to both of you, should move on whether by blocking him or just telling him it won't work.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    He sounds pretty insensitive and callous. That is not a good fwb. I'm sorry to say that. This isn't working, like mentioned already.

    I know it hurts but you've got to do what's best for yourself and be the responsible one here. He's clearly not thinking straight, whatever his story or background. I think he's using you and has forgotten what the whole friends with mutual benefits means. Lost the plot. People can usually tell when something is taking a different path and when there are deeper feelings involved. The electricity and the air changes between the both of you.

    If you're going to be hard with yourself, now's the time. Close up shop and find a more fulfilling relationship or partnership.

  4. #4
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    You don't need his permission to end this arrangement.

    You are wise to want out. You can see it's not going to lead anywhere further with him and it's only hurting you now. He doesn't want to stop because it this no-strings thing suits him just fine. But you can't let his desires dictate what's best for you.

    Tell him that it's not working for you, and you won't be meeting him again. If he persists, then yes, block him.

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  6. #5
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    Just tell him simply and clearly that you are not going to have sex with him anymore. Just tell him you had fun while it lasted and now you need to move on, and wish him well. No long back stories or analysis or $10 words.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    If it's hurting you, end it. Tell him then block and delete him from All messaging apps and social media so you can move forward.
    Originally Posted by confused198828
    He told me he's felt comfortable the most with me out of almost all women and that I understand him

  8. #7
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by confused198828
    So I have been hooking up with this guy since April. At first, we were just well, a hook up. We didn't really care about each other's lives on the outside of that. But as time went on, I guess we kind of developed a friendship. He told me he's felt comfortable the most with me out of almost all women and that I understand him and I don't judge him. We can talk about anything. He said he sees me as a close friend. This was discussed last week. Well, in the midst of all this, of course I was developing feelings. And I have been ever since. I've been depressed for a few days because he told me he doesn't want me to fall in love with him.
    Of course he doesn't want you to "fall in love" with him" simply because rather than having you as a convenient phone call away, he'd have to put in a bit of effort which is something he hadn't planned on.

    In short, there's a method to his madness, you're far from being on the same page, and he's running with it,(so to speak). Yes, I would block him and look for someone who sees you as a person, rather than a booty call.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    You have two kids who really need you. If you're depressed this will affect your kids.

    Please stop trying to make this into a relationship. You already know this will never be what you want.

    Out there somewhere is a man who does want a relationship with you, but you'll never meet him if you keep yourself attached to the one who isn't going to give you what you want.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Good lord just tell him! You have feelings for him so this has to end...period! That's all you have to do. Then you block/delete, kick him to the curb. You will feel better before you know it.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like you are lonely.

    These hookups brought some adult comfort and company. If you are not ready for a relationship, a FWB situation isn't ideal but it's all you have to offer right now:

    [Register to see the link]


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