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Thread: Do some people never find relationship?

  1. #11
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    A relationship happens when you are not actively looking for it. That is a comment from personal experience.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You're only 25 years old and still have an entire lifetime ahead of you! It is not all doom and gloom!

    You need to put yourself out there. People will not come to you. Get busy with your career, education or whatever it is. Become athletic, join a walking or running group. You have to start somewhere. If you want to meet certain types of people, go where they are. They're not at singles bars. That is where losers hang out. Generally, people meet each other at school, work, through mutual friends and family, network / socializing activities and the like. Those are where the winners hang out.

    Concentrate on your own life, career and get busy living. Then it will be like bees to honey without even trying. You need to bring something to the table and have that draw in order to receive desirable attention you are seeking. Quietly become successful in your own right. People only gravitate towards those who have their act together. I know it sounds harsh but this is how society is and how the world works.

  3. #13
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    I think relationships don’t happen if someone is desperate - so the reverse of the cliche “when you least expect it”. I think many stories- mine included - can be spun as “when you least expect it”. I’m a huge fan of being proactive if the goal is a serious relationship and especially if a woman is in her 30s and wants biological kids and is not going to freeze her eggs. I was proactive and for the most part not desperate. I had my moments when I acted and felt that way and obviously did not attract the right people c

  4. #14
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    In my experience, what held me back for a long time was cyclically choosing the wrong people (friends and relationships) and not recognizing warning signs from a mile away. No matter how good you are, if you choose the wrong people to hang out with, it's just going to bring you down no matter what. In a world where we depend on each other (whether for work purposes or personal) we still have to engage and interact with people around us. It really matters what kind of people you let into your life right down to your acquaintances and friends. It also took me a long while (into adulthood) to learn to be flexible and forgiving and show my love in ways other than my usual ways. It's made me appreciate differences in others and learn to see things in different perspectives. It's also lowered my tolerance for intolerance (where I was once intolerable) and forced me to see all my ugly flaws. I mean, you can't unsee those things, and something in you, like Wiseman said, will propel you to change and grow.

    It's not really for anyone or to find anyone. You'll want to do it for yourself because you'll also realize that accepting and being more proud of who you are is more important anyway. Once you see those flaws about yourself, you just can't unsee them and I think you'll also be more sensitive to the fact when you do continue to make more mistakes and learn again and again different things about life and yourself.

    Don't do it to find someone else. It's really for you only. Everything else after that whether you like it or not or whether it's on a timeline you dictate or not, will fall into place.
    - That's a really good post. There is a saying: Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    People find each other when they have something in common such as school, work, church, volunteering organizations (empathetic types), sports, hobbies, excursion / outings interest and the like. Birds of a feather flock together. If you want a winner, act like a winner and go where the winners congregate. This is called "being at the right place, at the right time." It happened to me years ago and many people whom I know in my midst. They're not hanging out at singles bars and other seedy joints.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Hey, sometimes you just know! No point in fighting it, maybe get a cat! Or an iguana!

  8. #17
    Administrator kamurj's Avatar
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    Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.

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