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Thread: Can't pull that plug...

  1. #1
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    Can't pull that plug...

    Maybe I just need to "grow a pair." I need to burn the bridges and move on from this relationship. She won't set up a "wall" for me. Having been dumped before, it was always tough but at least the other person erected a boundary so very solid I KNEW it was unbreakable. In this case, for whatever reason, she isn't doing this. So finally I am forced to get some courage and end it myself. I do realize how wimpy it is to NEED this boundary like I am talking about. Very wimpy. My head keeps on telling me, "Gee, she hasn't TOTALLY broken up with you as yet, maybe there is still hope." Weeks, months, years.......I keep myself in the pain. I need DEFINITE. I need full clarity. I believe this is going to take some prayer on my part. Apparently I don't have the power to do this by myself. Thanks for listening

  2. #2

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    Years? That is a long time. You must be married??

  3. #3
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    Did she actually break up with you? Are the two of you still on speaking terms? I'm not sure I understand the situation.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    You'll just need time to go through that pain and figure out where your boundaries lie so that you can start writing your own book. This is only the first step. You'll be just fine. This is part and parcel of developing those limits and boundaries. Take it easy and remember to nourish yourself and take care of your other commitments.

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  6. #5
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    If itís been years? Then thatís a definite?
    Is this an on off relationship?
    Whatís attractive about it?
    Why did she end it?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You are not dating, so if you want to finalize things see an attorney. But it will cost you. Is that why you never filed for divorce? Focus on child custody/visitation and child support. Only communicate about that. Start dating other women, but beware "separated, but still married" will be a huge problem for them.
    Originally Posted by lark265
    My wife and I have been separated for six years. We have two kids, ages 7 and 9, whom I see regularly (3x a week).

  8. #7
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    You are not helpless. You are choosing to stay in this drama.

    What did you think will happen if you block?

  9. #8
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by lark265
    My head keeps on telling me, "Gee, she hasn't TOTALLY broken up with you as yet, maybe there is still hope." Weeks, months, years.......I keep myself in the pain.
    - Listen to your gut. Your gut tells you the love has died and it will never be the way it once was between you. You head and your heart are lairs.

    The only real closure is time - in time, you'll get over her. Getting busy with your life and dating new women is good therapy.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Can't pull that plug...
    Change the word "can't" to "won't" for accuracy. Then make a better decision.


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