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Thread: Is it my fault?!

  1. #11
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    Rose once again thank you. Your wisdom is truly helping me out and I appreciate it.

  2. #12
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    It was probably too much for her to handle , an incarcerated bf , perhaps the reality of it all only dawned on her when it actually became real.
    Was it possession or dealing?
    Are you using drugs ?
    Have you cleaned up?

    You pretty much knew the relationship was over before your release. So I guess all you can do now is be the better you and put it down to a regular break up where one was not as invested as the other.

    Donít contact her or her family. Just focus on you !
    Good luck!

  3. #13
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    It was possession with intent to deliver MJ. And yea I knew before my release but being out here now itís different. Iím stressing about the stuff I wasnít stressing in there.

  4. #14
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    And Iím quite close with her grandparents and still went up to see them, should I cut that off 100%

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    This is just me but I'd let go gently, yes. They will understand that you need to move on with your life. Staying in touch with her relatives is just one subconscious way you're trying to hang on to her and to your past without fully healing and moving on. You're not doing yourself any favours.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Hey OP... I hope you have learned something from your situation, no judgment here I have a shady past myself as do many of my friends. I had a friend who was dating someone that she knew previously that ended up in prison... for much the same thing as you but a more serious charge... she had been in love with her for a number of years and thought it would be easy to just wait and go visit once in awhile and support her... she didn't realize how much prison changes people, or how difficult it would be having a relationship with someone that she couldn't have any physical contact with... in the end she let it go for those reasons.

    My point is... it's not about fault, it's about realizing that our choices have consequences and that the consequence here was the end of your relationship. You talk about loyalty, however you miss the point that your choice to commit the crime was selfish and self-seeking and got in the way of your relationship with her.

    Focus on bettering your life, getting clean / sober, getting an education / employment, and start looking for opportunities to give back to your community in some way. That will attract the type of people that will be loyal and stand by you and will enable you to offer the same to them.

  8. #17
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    She should have been done with you after she found out about the charge. Convict and drug dealer spell no future. Get your sh*t together. You are poisoning your community.


    Think about getting an education and becoming a productive citizen. Would you want your sister or daughter to date someone like you?
    Last edited by Hollyj; 06-26-2019 at 11:48 AM.

  9. #18
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Don't hate her, Jeremy - in relationships, people have needs - they need regular attention, affection, Friday night dates....... It's impossible to do that when you are away.

    If you want a relationship that lasts, for best results, you have to see them / date them regularly. That's the rule.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Hard to do in jail.
    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    If you want a relationship that lasts, for best results, you have to see them / date them regularly.

  11. #20
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Hard to do in jail.
    - Dats what I'm sayin', mang

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