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Thread: Wife's sex drive

  1. #11
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hackney25144
    Thank you for all your advice, my wife has been saying things like this for a while I have just enrolled in kick boxing, when I try to organise time out with people things always fall through and eventually you start telling yourself it's not meant to be and just Bury your head in the sand. We had another blow out tonight, I admit I used to be a jealous person especially as I let myself go however I feel its under control and has been for a long time but obviously there's little bits pop through every now and then (I'm only human and far from perfect). I have been toying with the possibility of using illegal narcotics (speed, coke) to help me lose some weight but I can't bring my self to do it.
    So, then she'll have an unhappy drug addict on her hands? How is that helpful?

    Self esteem never comes out of taking short cuts. It comes as a result of doing hard work and feeling a sense of pride and accomplishment.

    Good for you with the kickboxing and sorry for the setbacks. It's pretty typically. Two steps forward, one step back. Just keeping moving forward and applying yourself. Be patient, the rest will come.

  2. #12
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    Why don't you get on a good diet and get some exercise. I don't understand why you would resort to drugs. That makes zero sense!

  3. #13
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    I was looking for a short cut but I know it's not the answer I could never use drugs I've seen the aftermath of someone I know/knew. We've agreed to go see a marriage counsellor. Thank you again for words of wisdom.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Excellent. Why don't both of you get to your doctors for a complete physical check up? Keep in mind obesity can cause many health problems including ED. Your wife may also benefit from a good check up.
    Originally Posted by Hackney25144
    We've agreed to go see a marriage counsellor.

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  6. #15
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    Our doctors are quite busy however I do already have a pre booked appointment in a couple of weeks. I must admit I can't help but feel like we're on different pages as we hugged this morning and it felt like it was forced. I really do love her but I know the feeling isn't mutual at the minute and that is a hard thing to for me as I'm an emotional person.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Most people are emotional. I'd venture to say we are all emotional. Some just have more luxury expressing it whenever they want. Others have to inhibit or filter it because of other commitments or because they're expected to do so for other reasons that are more important than simply lashing out or dwelling on them mentally or expressing all the time. It's up to all of us to find an adequate balance so we aren't repressed or going on emotional benders.

    I agree about seeing what your doctor says about your physical health and if there are any complications there. As a general rule, it's better to celebrate each other as individuals than break each other down. People change even when married and we should leave room for some change whether it's new friends or new realities in the relationship. It also depends heavily on boundaries and what both are comfortable with. I think your wife genuinely may not know what to do with you and she may find you difficult to deal with in general if you don't have filters on your emotions. Emotions are difficult to filter if we are not in good shape or if we don't feel good about ourselves. Try working through those emotions and figure out how you feel about yourself (self-esteem).

  8. #17
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Wife's sex drive

    Originally Posted by Hackney25144
    I was looking for a short cut but I know it's not the answer I could never use drugs I've seen the aftermath of someone I know/knew. We've agreed to go see a marriage counsellor. Thank you again for words of wisdom.
    Especially now with the opiate crisis in North America... Fentanyl is killing addicts and recreational drug users left right and centre and is being mixed with everything from weed to speed to beyond. Last year in Canada they calculated that someone died every 2 hours from an opiate overdose... well over 7000 people... many who were using narcotics for the first time.

    This level of desperation calls for some outside help OP.

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