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Thread: Argument

  1. #1
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    Argument

    My and my boyfriend had an argument. It was out of nothing. Over the telephone. It started innocently and we both recognised it is going toward wrong direction. I asked us both to stop as it didn't make sense. He agreed but said he is already angry.
    He also said his anger doesn't disappear as quick as mine. He offered to end conversation until everyone calm down.
    This was Sunday night.
    I don't want to reach out as I was the one doing so for last few arguments.
    I don't want to play games either but I think maybe I should give him all the space he needs it ?
    But how long would that be ??
    We were both surprised how quickly things escalated ....I think we had bad days and it haooened. Any other day we would squosh it....
    Not sure what to do cause we never not talk after argument longer than one night.
    But that is because I called ....

  2. #2
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    What was the argument about?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    It sounds like you argue frequently. Are you always arguing about the same thing or are they impulsive emotional fights?

    It's generally not a good sign for the health of a relationsuup if one person is always responsible for mending hurt feelings after a conflict. You may want to analyze whether you and your partner are equal participants in the relationship and if it's worth continuing with someone who shuts you out after fights.

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    I must admit I caused last few arguments ,hence I was the one who made amends.
    This time I started with heavy loaded questions and that didn't go well. Bad day for us both. It escalated to a point that I am not sure whose fault is it now.

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  6. #5
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    Serious arguments like what yours appeared to be are rarely, if ever, about "nothing."

    They may not be about the specific issue you initially began arguing about there something going on otherwise, you (or he) would be able to just let it go.

    My guess is it wasn't what you began arguing about but more that he may just be sick of arguing! In general. And is angry because of that.

    I think you both need to take some space. Don't play the game of who will message first, simply take a few days, think things through, consider whether or not you wish to remain in a relationship where arguments abound, and if you choose to stay, open up the lines of communication and discuss OR if you wish to leave, wish him well and say goodbye.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by irka000
    I must admit I caused last few arguments. This time I started with heavy loaded questions and that didn't go well.
    What kinds of questions are we talking about here, irka? Having followed this, I can't help but imagine they might have been either directly or indirectly an attempt to gauge how "into this" he is.

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    Originally Posted by irka000
    I must admit I caused last few arguments ,hence I was the one who made amends.
    This time I started with heavy loaded questions and that didn't go well. Bad day for us both. It escalated to a point that I am not sure whose fault is it now.
    irka, I am sorry to say this but it really appears as if he's had enough.

    Such heavy loaded questions do eventually get old to the other person; I was not there so can't know for sure, but again, my feeling is he is just done.

    May I ask what prompts you to cause these arguments, and ask such heavy loaded questions?

    Do you not feel secure in the relationship, and if not, why? Do you blame him for your insecurity?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Instead of pushing for answers and wanting to communicate with him right away or right now it might be a good idea to use this time and reflect on what triggered those bursts of frustration between the both of you. It is ok to argue and arguments in and of themselves are not always bad. It helps us understand each other as individuals and not everyone is always composed. That's human. What isn't healthy is allowing the same patterns to happen over and over.

    If you do know what causes these fights whether it's a bad mood, bad timing in the day speaking on the phone, underlying and ongoing issues, that's really up to you to think about and reflect. You both should be coming together to speak about it and learning from these. Try and come together as a couple and strive to understand each other better.

  10. #9
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    We don't argue a lot....once a month maybe ? I don't calculate...I asked if he was upset with me as I sensed he was a bit different. He said he wasn't but I was still pushing....and we started argue. Silly as hell.
    He got upset and we both became very cold for one another
    I am worried that he is indeed done with me.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    What were the "loaded questions" specifically about?

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