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Thread: Date question

  1. #101
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    Well, maybe some of that desire to want to hang again is my ego. Just some, though, for sure.

  2. #102
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    There is most definitely some truth to that; firstluv here me out.

    IF you were truly wanting a “relationship” with her (or any woman for that matter), then why in the world would you be spending (wasting) all or most of your energy on a woman who has clearly demonstrated on more than one occasion she does not want a relationship with you?

    Does that make sense to you? Men who truly want a relationship with a woman would not be wasting their time on this – they’d be moving on in search of a woman who is interested in them and wanting to develop a relationship with them.

    Please think about this.
    Do you have any thoughts on this^?

    Seriously, firstluv, I believe there is at least some truth to it.

    The fantasy you've created and holding on to is infinitely safer (emotionally) than a real live relationship where you are required to become vulnerable to another person and risk getting hurt, both of which I personally believe, you are uncomfortable with. Even fear on some level.

    So you choose the "safe" fantasy instead.

    I mean you even admitted you doubted the level of chemistry between you during your one meet, but yet here you are, three weeks later, no further dates, only rejection, and you're nearing the point of obsession almost.

    Why? Ego? Fear? Most likely both.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 07-16-2019 at 11:38 AM.

  3. #103
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    Katrina, I do not feel this is accurate at all.
    Like I said i believed that she was interested up until this past weekend. And I'm moving on.
    I am not holding onto a fantasy because it is safer. It was more a fantasy of future experiences with this person I thought was into me. Isn't this "normal" when crushing?

  4. #104
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    >>Like I said i believed that she was interested up until this past weekend. And I'm moving on.
    I am not holding onto a fantasy because it is safer. It was more a fantasy of future experiences with this person I thought was into me.
    -----


    Sorry I don't mean to argue with you about it - they are your feelings after all. Not mine.

    I just find what you posted above a bit odd in light of the fact that since you realized she is not interested (this past weekend), you were still considering pursuing her (just yesterday you posted this), under the guise of being "friends" when you know you wanted more and even admitted as such -- saying it would be difficult to just be friends given how you feel.

    So as of yesterday (after the weekend, and after you realized she was not interested) you were not moving on.

    But I will leave you to it firstluv, however my last piece of advice is to just be honest, with yourself. Dig deep into your true motivations and just be honest.

    Hard thing to do sometimes, but it's important.

    Best of luck.

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  6. #105
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    Thanks.
    I would ask to be friends sincerely. I was thinking out loud and asked if I'm being honest with myself. Bluecastle was right, as you are, in that I would at this point just want more. So, I'm not crossing that bridge.

  7. #106
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    Guys, I definitely want to come back to all this in 1-2 weeks with a clearer mind. It'll be a good exercise for me.
    I'm reflecting on everything said here, even if I've disagreed with it in the moment.
    There's too much to really process and absorb and apply in a couple days

  8. #107
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Good luck out there. Process, absorb. Swipe right, swipe left.

    Do one thing every day that reminds me that you're happy with no one but you. You might find that turns down the motor on the internal projector because the movie is already great.

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