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Thread: One Month NC...

  1. #1
    Platinum Member JA0371's Avatar
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    One Month NC...

    Hi guys...I havenít posted a thread in a while...but Iím posting this thread just as a way to vent while I navigate through a NC period in my relationship. Iím going to try my best to get some things in order in the next few weeks...and posting sometimes helps me keep my sanity. My goal is to focus on myself for the next month.

    Things I want to accomplish...
    Get back into the gym. Iíve literally not worked out in months. For me thatís a LONG time. So starting Monday itís on! Iím making that commitment to myself right now.

    Iíve kind of lost myself in this situation in the last two years,and I really need to emerge and reset myself and where I want to go. I am also really unhappy at my current job and am seriously considering leaving. All of this is negatively affecting my thinking...this has unfortunately caused a few issues in my relationship and I feel like A lot of it is my fault. Iím seriously just very depressed about things and that is so unlike me.

    So...tonight I just want to say Iím sad. Iíve made some plans for tomorrow . Iím off but I really donít feel like doing much. Iím really hurting over this dilemma and my instinct is to just lay low...😢
    If anyone else is struggling post here....I like the company..😊

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Hang in there. Try to enjoy the little things in the meantime and don't rush yourself to figure things out. It'll come to you eventually. I've felt that feeling before where things feel too shaky and unpredictable to make any moves and the instinctive desire is only to hide away and process. Something I wish someone said to me when I was feeling down: You don't need to feel less than or like you're less of a person just because you're processing something. When you take a time out to reflect, you're honouring you and returning that respect back onto yourself. We all need time every now and then especially when things aren't going well.

    I think society has burdened us with the idea that quickness and efficiency is everything when really it's patience and understanding that does the trick. Just a passing, open-ended thought in case someone else has any other thoughts to add.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member JA0371's Avatar
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    Thank you Rose.. itís late, I had a few drinks earlier and my head is messy.. lol.
    Iím going to post here for a while. Maybe Iíll find clarity and maybe I can help someone else..

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    Platinum Member JA0371's Avatar
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    Iím still awake.. I composed and sent an email to my bf. obviously he hasnít seen it yet but Iím already wondering if heíll even respond to it . Itís basically telling him that I really want to work on myself and that maybe this is for the best. I know if he doesnít respond Iíll be hurt.., but Iíll just have to deal with it. ..and I will officially start NC ... this hurts so much 😢

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this is happening. Why did you guys break up?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member JA0371's Avatar
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    I really would like to understand why it takes a break up as a catalyst to want to get your crap together . Right now Iím planning the next month so Iíll be busy and Hopefully accomplish some things:::Things that honestly I shouldíve been doing all along but for some reason I donít feel as motivated as I do when my heart is broken I think that thatís normal right?
    Today is my first day.. I am journaling and planning some things down the road. My bf answered my email very abruptly and coldly.. so I didnít respond. Itís almost like heís a completely different person right now . It hurts. I think he wants to be done with me But heís just too afraid to actually say it . He also did not say he doesnít want contact but I think for the time being some space is necessary .

    This is day one officially

    Edit: I just deleted him off my social media so he canít keep tabs on me

  8. #7
    Platinum Member JA0371's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sorry this is happening. Why did you guys break up?
    We are arguing about dumb things and I have had an issue with drinking a lot... so I really want to try to give that up and see if it makes a big difference . Iím not proud of it but it is a coping mechanism that I have developed over the years and now I am paying the price 😔

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    I'm a little confused. You mention a break-up and No Contact, but still refer to him as your boyfriend.

    Did you two indeed end the relationship? Did he ask for space, or?

  10. #9
    Platinum Member JA0371's Avatar
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    Yes...we are on a ď breakĒ but Iím assuming the worst and treating it as abreak up . Iíve been through enough break ups to have learned that a soon as someone acts as though they won out Or pulling away etc. to let them go completely . In the past I would do no contact as a way to manipulate the person but now Iím truly doing it for myself ...

  11. #10
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    This isn't the guy you were writing about before...the New York guy?

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