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Thread: Can taking a break save a relationship?

  1. #11
    Member FleurDeLys's Avatar
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    Thanks all for all the interesting and various insights on my situation!

    As for the source of our problems, my boyfriend actually went through a bad depressive episode after a burn out at work. He's started going out and party a lot, which ultimately led to problems, such as him not holding up to his commitments, overspending, sometimes not being very nice to me... It went to the a point whenever we'd hang out, he'd just want to sleep because he'd be too tired, the only time we'd spend together would be going out with friends.

    It made me very frustrated with the situation as I felt we were no longer sharing any quality time as a couple, as well as my needs not being met. For the last month, he'd promised he'd make an effort, except that nothing changed so I ended up being frustrated and complaining to him about the same problems. Last week, I told him if he didn't pull himself together and at least tried to work towards getting better I'd leave because the relationship was making more stressed and unhappy than anything. That's pretty much from there he suggested we took time apart. He admitted to having treated me unfairly and poorly and apologised for it, and it might be better that we were apart while he worked himself rather than keep hurting me.

    As for 'fooling' around, I told him I was cool with it. We had a consensually open relationship with some established rules, except that it wasn't working out for me anymore. So I told him he was free to do what he wanted while we were apart so he could figure out whether bachelor life and our relationship was more important to him (I realise this might sound very strange to monogamous people). But he said that the point of the break was to get some alone time to focus on himself. So I don't think seeing other people is the point at all, in this case.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok see what happens while he's away and take time to reflect on what You really want. Stay no contact to clear your head.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Can taking a break save a relationship?

    Iíve not found that taking a break ever worked for me, as it just allowed us to sweep the issues under the rug instead of facing them.

    That said I do agree that having boundaries and talking about what having a break means to both of you is important if you want to maintain the trust in the relationship.

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