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Thread: Iím just so lost..what do i do?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It's just a process you'll have to figure out on your own. Nothing in the world is going to possess you to do what's right for yourself unless you realize it deep down. You already know what to do. Slowly over time, you'll realize how pathetic (or "nonchalant", as you say) his initiated conversations are, how lacking in heart or any conscience and how much you really get nothing out of speaking with him. You'll start to compare him to other examples of men and see other examples in the dates that your friends choose and in the new men that you meet and you'll realize how much of a low life or a loser this person really is in the way they have treated you in the past and the way you're being treated now.

    You'll figure it out. Right now, you just have to go through all those steps of missing him and agonizing over the breadcrumbs he scatters your way.

  2. #12
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    Refusing to block him is why you are still in pain.

    You can do it. But will you?

  3. #13
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    I'm not trying to make light of your situation, however, you will survive NC. NC is the only way to begin the healing process. If you keep in contact, it will re-open some wounds that may have started to heal. Is NC hard? Yes, incredibly hard. In my particular case, I didn't want to see him nor talk to him so NC was not a problem. My ex dumped me after being married 29 years. I've been NC for a year now and the pain and anguish gets a little better every day. In fact, I feel pretty good now. You have to be strong though because there will be some days when the temptation will be so powerful. There will also be days when you'll feel like you're back on square one. Please know that's normal. It's all part of the healing process. You need to muster some self-respect. I know you feel panicked right now because he's not in your life. It's a horrible feeling, granted, but NC the only solution that will allow you to move on. Time is the key, my friend. There's no quick fix.

    I believe that deep inside you know what to do. If he truly cared and loved you, he wouldn't act the way he is acting. Don't be his doormat. Don't let him use you. Again, you will get through this and, who knows, perhaps one day you will think back and ask yourself "What was I thinking?" And, maybe when enough time has passed, you may not even want him! You'd be surprised. I was totally devastated at the beginning when he told me he wanted a divorce (back in May 2018). Fast forward to today, I would never consider a reconciliation. Good luck, and hang in there. You have lots of people in the same predicament. xx

  4. #14
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    As long as you do the same thing, you will get the same results.

    You're in pain and that pain is making it hard for you to see your situation objectively. This man is selfish and wants you to stick around while he explores his other options. If you think it hurts now, wait until you hear about his new girlfriend!

    It feels like you will never move on, but I promise you it isn't true. Get a grip and make the tough call so you can start to move on with your life.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by SGH
    As long as you do the same thing, you will get the same results.

    You're in pain and that pain is making it hard for you to see your situation objectively. This man is selfish and wants you to stick around while he explores his other options. If you think it hurts now, wait until you hear about his new girlfriend!

    It feels like you will never move on, but I promise you it isn't true. Get a grip and make the tough call so you can start to move on with your life.
    Yes, this ^^^

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