Conclusion/ Exploring the idea that I am Autistic as well

As most know here my son is Autistic and him and I share a lot of traits . I belong to a lot of adult Autistic forums in an effort to make his life easier and found I share so many traits of other Autistic women. I had a very introspective friend on here who once asked me if I ever considered if I was. I was always a wanderer as a child, bucked authority that made no sense to me. A super sensitive crusader. I had sensory issues and still do. I was and am still pretty uncoordinated. I was always called “ spaz” , “over sensitive” and awkward and “ crazy” by adults. I was shunned by other kids .

I become very distressed when plans are not followed , distressed to the point of almost tears or anger. Funny enough as an adult I can be an extreme rule follower and way out there at the same time.

Now my mom vehemently denies it is possible because I successfully work and drive and graduated university. But there are Autistics who do function fully in life . This is at an extreme cost to me. I suffer immense stress and have my entire life from very early childhood.

My son feels I am. He looks at me sometimes and says Jeebus mom you’re more Autistic than me filter woman filter! I hyper focus very very easily.

Just so many traits...... I never thought of before I talked with other Adult Autistics.

Bucking authority is far from being unique to autism. Strong wills, when dishonesty is detected in authority figures or when an authority figure has abused or lied to a child - that can happen as well, as well as issues with attachment in childhood.

I know you have experienced abuse. Could the wandering and bucking authority be from that as well?

Bucking authority is far from being unique to autism. Strong wills, when dishonesty is detected in authority figures or when an authority figure has abused or lied to a child - that can happen as well, as well as issues with attachment in childhood.

 

I know you have experienced abuse. Could the wandering and bucking authority be from that as well?

It was long before I was abused. I was a wanderer from toddlerhood. My mom said she noticed I was kind of walking to my own drum at about 4 years old. I was a pied piper of trouble. At school I was either daydreaming and singing or blurting out answers.

But she noticed I was extremely different from my brother long before I was abused . She loved me to bits but found me far more difficult than my brother. Although I was far far better and agreeable with her than any other human being.

Very interesting.

I will say though, as a fellow survivor of abuse the whole thing about not being about to handle changing plans for example, I have that exact same issue. I get incredibly worked up, and upset and frustrated. Im very much a planner and when things deviate, I feel as if I’m losing control and it freaks me out. Planning big trips with me is never fun because I am super anxious and snap at everything, once were on the road I’m good but for whatever reason that build up...

I’m not sure if I’m describing myself right, but my counselor said for me it’s PTSD.

The other signs though, very possible, I think many people don’t realize they are on the spectrum. As long as they have learn d to live a happy and healthy life I suppose it’s not a big deal.

Keep us updated with what you find out.

Very interesting.

 

I will say though, as a fellow survivor of abuse the whole thing about not being about to handle changing plans for example, I have that exact same issue. I get incredibly worked up, and upset and frustrated. Im very much a planner and when things deviate, I feel as if I’m losing control and it freaks me out. Planning big trips with me is never fun because I am super anxious and snap at everything, once were on the road I’m good but for whatever reason that build up...

 

I’m not sure if I’m describing myself right, but my counselor said for me it’s PTSD.

 

The other signs though, very possible, I think many people don’t realize they are on the spectrum. As long as they have learn d to live a happy and healthy life I suppose it’s not a big deal.

 

Keep us updated with what you find out.

I do have PTSD as well which I am positive contributes to my distress over changing plans. It exacerbates it. My mom said even as a small kid I would loose my marbles if things went awry. I was just a bundle of anxiety . Bathing me was difficult I would scream bloody blue murder whenever my hair was washed we are even talking at 7 years old. Screaming until I would almost vomit. Loud noises then and now just send me into a rage.

Today when I got my nails done due to unforeseen circumstances my regular girl couldn’t do them and I was almost in tears

. I was hanging my the skin of my teeth not to call my husband to pick me up and get me out of there because I couldn’t handle the change.

I do have PTSD as well which I am positive contributes to my distress over changing plans. It exacerbates it. My mom said even as a small kid I would loose my marbles if things went awry. I was just a bundle of anxiety . Bathing me was difficult I would scream bloody blue murder whenever my hair was washed we are even talking at 7 years old. Screaming until I would almost vomit. Loud noises then and now just send me into a rage.

 

Today when I got my nails done due to unforeseen circumstances my regular girl couldn’t do them and I was almost in tears

. I was hanging my the skin of my teeth not to call my husband to pick me up and get me out of there because I couldn’t handle the change.

Wow, very interesting.

What are your typical tactics to combat these feelings? Are you open to medication?

I am on medication. Usually I use grounding techniques to calm me down.

I remember one particular occasion a few years ago my mom wanted me to watch the Movie War Horse. I can’t watch any kind of animal abuse or I have flashbacks for months. My mom kept insisting I see this movie . It is an award-winning movie and for that reason you should watch it blah blah blah just nag nag nag I had to watch this movie I had to watch this movie . Finally I ran away from her screaming , I don’t want to watch the effin movie leave me alone !!! Later she STILL dragged me out to watch this movie and I left screaming covering my ears. My son is similar we just go into complete meltdown and it can’t be stopped or reasoned with. People lol at us like we are INSANE. But the meltdown can’t be stopped.

Wow, very interesting.

 

What are your typical tactics to combat these feelings? Are you open to medication?

I also have an incredible pain tolerance and my body doesn’t recognize how ill I am sometimes. I was almost septic with necrotized tissue in my uterus and didn’t even feel sick. My mom says one day I am going to die from lack of body awareness.

Perhaps this begs the question: Does it help you to think of yourself as autistic?

Perhaps this begs the question: Does it help you to think of yourself as autistic?

I am not sure.

I also have an incredible pain tolerance and my body doesn’t recognize how ill I am sometimes. I was almost septic with necrotized tissue in my uterus and didn’t even feel sick. My mom says one day I am going to die from lack of body awareness.

Almost septic means you were NOT septic and clearly got help before that could occur.

It’s quite likely to not feel sick to a point. And your point of feeling sick was before sepsis could occur which puts you in a normal pain tolerance range really!?

What you describe of yourself is more OCD and anxiety imo.

Almost septic means you were NOT septic and clearly got help before that could occur.

It’s quite likely to not feel sick to a point. And your point of feeling sick was before sepsis could occur which puts you in a normal pain tolerance range really!?

 

What you describe of yourself is more OCD and anxiety imo.

Well, you have no clue exactly how sick I was and what pain I have endured in my life right?

Since being Autistic is primarily genetic it might make sense. My husband is neurodivergent but not Autistic. My son is diagnosed Autistic at 17. Many many Autistic people slip through cracks of diagnosis. My son was misdiagnosed many times and that was in the 2000’s. So in the 60’s and 70’s it wasn’t anything 99% of people even knew about .

Are there tests you can take to be diagnosed? If so would this benefit you in any way?

Well, there is evaluation by a psychiatrist and brain scan. All costly . Private evaluation for my son was $2000 . But my insurance does cover $2000 for mental health treatment. At the time that my son was diagnosed it did not and only covered $1000 . Primarily I think the only way it would probably benefit me would just be my own private information . I

Are there tests you can take to be diagnosed? If so would this benefit you in any way?

I will tell you right now. Thinking of yourself or your son as autistic will only serve for justifying behavior which may or may not be healthy. I used to think of myself as being on the spectrum since I enjoyed doing extremely repetitive activities, highly sensitive to bright lights, loud sounds and tags on clothing. In general I am pretty introverted, I will often spend a lot of time reading technical programming books, and can spend hours in front of the computer (like really long time).

Turns out that when I was younger, I wasn't properly socialized. There were certain important developmental markers that children are suppose to hit and it's highly likely that I might have missed some of those. Between the ages of 2 and 3 spent a lot of time alone. My mom also told me that I didn't speak until I turned 3, and after that I continue to spend a lot of time myself playing with blocks and using my imagination as entertainment. Thinking that I was on the spectrum only served to enforce my behavior and not fight any of the isolation patterns. Maybe it doesn't matter what diagnosis you or anyone has, the point is we try are best to live a healthy life.

Since, I stopped thinking I was on the spectrum, I realized I was more willing to look at my own behavior and compare it to other people. In addition, I work harder to face my fears and be with people. Good luck on your journey.

That is assuming there is something wrong with being Autistic, but there isn’t . Being Autistic is perfectly valid.

I think your missing the point. You say, you suffer from extreme stress, and you son urges you to filter some of the stimuli.

The justification for the stress and inability to filter is the diagnosis of being on the spectrum. Thereby excusing any ability or responsibility which you may take part in contributing to the problem.

It’s almost like me trying to explain to someone who claims to be clinically depressed that there are some counter measures they could take to cope with these feelings.

Either way I already know that if you wanted to listen to advice you would have listened not only to myself but to what other posters have claimed. It just seems like you want to justify the behavior, I guess we all make decisions.

I think your missing the point. You say, you suffer from extreme stress, and you son urges you to filter some of the stimuli.

 

The justification for the stress and inability to filter is the diagnosis of being on the spectrum. Thereby excusing any ability or responsibility which you may take part in contributing to the problem.

 

It’s almost like me trying to explain to someone who claims to be clinically depressed that there are some counter measures they could take to cope with these feelings.

 

Either way I already know that if you wanted to listen to advice you would have listened not only to myself but to what other posters have claimed. It just seems like you want to justify the behavior, I guess we all make decisions.

The thing is I have a fully functioning life. Friends and family and work etc. But I have suffered from anxiety since toddlerhood and stress as well.

I will say that my stress and anxiety are not untreated, they are.

Generally stress is the emotional response to adapting to changes in your environment. And anxiety is a fear of the unknown.

Stress levels are relative to the amount work necessary to adapt to these changes. A person who is less flexible and more fearful of change will generally deal with more stress in certain situations.

Someone who is stressed in social situations is due to the unpredictable nature of human behavior. Recognizing that is something they can’t control and simply trusting those around them, can have a profound affect on their stress levels.

Treating the stress or anxiety with medication can ease the symptoms but does not solve the problem. This is generally why dosage is increased overtime, they haven’t dealt with what brought up the stress to begin with.

I have found therapy to have had a profound affect on my life. Good luck on your journey.

I have had almost 4 years of therapy due to my abuse . Focusing on my PTSD. Believe me I am vastly improved.

Complex neurological or psychological problems are best addressed in person with your physician. Mental and physical health is too important for a DIY approach.