Is this girl into me, or just bored?

So do you guys think I have a chance with the girl I am texting when she responds all the time, but late? For example I text her, she responds 5 hours later although being online. Sometimes she replies immediately. This is the reason we exchange generally a few messages a day only. I try to reply by one word or just a smile to see what happens and she keeps the conversation going, asks me questions etc. Do you think she likes the texting or texts at certain times only when she is bored?

What sorts of messages are you sending her? How do you know her?

What sorts of messages are you sending her? How do you know her?

 

 

 

Well it started with school issues, now we have nothing to talk about so we are teasing each other all days

Well it started with school issues, now we have nothing to talk about so we are teasing each other all days

 

Again I ask, how do you know her? Do you go to school together or something?

 

I would simply ask her if she'd like to grab a coffee or drink with you and see how she responds.

From school. I do not honestly know, I think if she wanted to go somewhere, she would give me some hint, or signal she wants to see me. She has never done this

It sounds like you're scared to put yourself out there. Just ask her out. Unless you're interested in a text-only involvement.

How old are you both, OP?

A reply within 24 hours is acceptable.

 

Text, like talk is cheap. Do you want to date her or be friends? Have you met? What's the whole story?

Just texting? Nope, how is that supposed to give you a "chance"?

 

Maybe, because you have never given her a hint you want to do something like a date, she thinks you're not interested.

 

You do know you can ask her out, right?

I'm assuming you're pretty young, what with the mention of school and all. Cool, been there. But this is a good little lesson, if you want to learn it, and it's that being passive is a waste of time.

 

What you're doing now? You're essentially poking at her with little emojis and whatnot in hopes that she'll be more of a man than you—that she'll do or say something that makes it clear that, if you ask her out, she'll say yes.

 

Snooze. No woman wants to play that game. No woman finds that attractive or fun for very long.

 

If you want to go out with her just ask her out. Worst case scenario? She says no, brushes you off. You will live. Best case scenario? Well, that's the thing you get to find out, in 3D, not on a screen.

The answer could be “both”.

 

If I’m chatting with a guy, and he just keeps chatting or teasing without asking me out, I will for sure put less of a priority on his texts. I mean... is he a text buddy? Is he interested? Is he just being friendly? Is he just using me as an ego boost? She could very well be asking herself the same thing - whether you are interested or just bored.

 

The only way to know is to ask her out. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

 

It’s hot these days (at least around here). Ask if she wants to go grab an ice cream.

You have a chance if you learn to be patient! A cell phone shouldn't be a ball 'n chain. Give others breathing room. People are very busy with their own lives and can't drop their life for you at a moment's notice. Don't be so demanding with high expectations and instant replies. Quit blowing up her phone. Back off otherwise you are perceived as very needy, clingy and insecure. Learn to be independent with a life of your own instead of gloming onto others.

 

You'll make yourself appear attractive when you give people lots of space and time. Never hound others or they'll definitely lose interest in you quickly.

Dude ask her out, stop being shy and scared. Man up she likes you obviously.

I always tell people not to hold much weight when it comes to texting. Honestly, I won't continue a conversation that isn't interesting. I really hate small talk and sometimes I'm too busy for it. It turns me off from the guy mainly and then I start association him with boring conversation.

 

If you really want to get her attention you should ask her questions that would lead to a conversation. Ask her something like: "What's your favorite horror movie?" She'll respond and you'll either A. Have a few comments about the movie or B. She'll ask you yours in return. Next thing you know you guys will be talking actors. Then talking about favorite celebrities and then least favorite celebrities...and so on.

 

Some guys think small talk is nice but for a woman like myself, I like fast pace deep conversation. I have a lot to talk about and I enjoy talking. I don't really like participating in any conversation that isn't mentally stimulating

 

Some people like small talk and they're able to sit through those stages but some people hate it

I'm assuming you're pretty young, what with the mention of school and all. Cool, been there. But this is a good little lesson, if you want to learn it, and it's that being passive is a waste of time.

 

What you're doing now? You're essentially poking at her with little emojis and whatnot in hopes that she'll be more of a man than you—that she'll do or say something that makes it clear that, if you ask her out, she'll say yes.

 

Snooze. No woman wants to play that game. No woman finds that attractive or fun for very long.

 

If you want to go out with her just ask her out. Worst case scenario? She says no, brushes you off. You will live. Best case scenario? Well, that's the thing you get to find out, in 3D, not on a screen.

 

Hmmm, it's all changed now blue, especially for kids in high school.

 

The girls chase the boys now, and the boys have become conditioned to expect this.

 

These are not the insecure, needy girls either, they're the cool confident girls from the "in" crowd, the girls all the other girls are jealous of and want to be.

 

I work with a woman with a teenage son and she said her son's got three different girls chasing him now. They text him all day and night, he complains to her about it!! And the girls seem to have no shame in doing so!

 

She has spoken with other moms from school and their sons experience the same thing.

 

One mother has a daughter and she is always going to her mom asking advice about some boy she is chasing.

 

Mom saId don't chase! And her daughter responded "oh that's so old school." Lol

 

Not sure when it all changed, but to the OP, step back, don't always be so available. Wait a few hours or a day to text back, these girls love a challenge!!

Girls are supposed to chase..its natural..especially when they feel safe and comfortable with a guy.

Girls are supposed to chase..its natural..especially when they feel safe and comfortable with a guy.

 

I rest my case.

 

Girls are chasing and even men have come to expect this now.

 

And when they don't, guys assume low interest.

 

I thought it might just pertain to teens, but apparently older guys (20's) have become conditioned to expect it too.

 

It's all a changin peeps.

Let's talk to Sixers in a few years, when he's burnt out on the lock-changing drama queens and gets tired of turning to an anonymous website to process why the girls who seemed into chasing him go cold in a few weeks (but—news alert!—still look at Snap stories).

 

I don't think much has changed.

 

Girls/women learn from a very young age that most men are prideful, passive, fear-driven, thin-skinned dunces who are flat-out petrified of women and immune to understanding that they are the same species—at least until around age 30, often older, sometimes never. In the 50s they "chased" by batting eyes across the dance floor, hoping the dude by the punch bowl would, you know, man up and ask her to get a milkshake. Today they text, slide into DMs, watch stories, comment on stories with emojis and so on, with much the same hopes.

 

It's all a bit more forward and faster-moving now, for sure, but it ain't a paradigm shift.

I don’t disagree necessarily, I am just saying that imo you can’t give the same advice to an obviously immature teenage boy still in high school that you give to a man over the age of 25.

 

With teenagers, who haven't quite come into their own yet, or matured, it’s a different generation.

 

The girls are different, they like the challenge, they like the “bad boy” they like doing the chasing. As evidenced by what my co-worker shared about her son, her friend's son and her friend's daughter. And from what I have read and observed from other sources.

 

Yes it’s immature, of course it’s immature, they’re teenagers for heaven’s sake.

 

So when I advise a boy of 16-17 re a girl he likes, I am not going to suggest to him that he behave like a man over 25 would behave, like planning and asking her on a date, because teenage girls won’t respond to that typically, they like and WILL do the chasing when they like a boy.

 

I do agree with you about one thing though, it’s actually not so different from when I was in high school, as I also went for the “bad boys” I was crazy for them! The “nice” guys who planned and asked me on a real “date” did not appeal to me at all at that age.

 

For me when I give advice, it's important to know who I am advising, try and relate and adjust accordingly.

Well, that's why I ask ages or offer comments geared to getting an OP to open up a bit more, should he or she choose. I've been on ENA long enough to know that someone I presume to be 17 is actually 37, while someone I think is 37 turns out to be 22. The beauty of the internet, the strangeness of life and people, the curious affects of the digital age.

 

Is this poster in high school, college, graduate school? He he 16 or 26? None of us have any idea, as he's long gone. Should he come back and offer some clarity—I'll adjust as needed, as I tend to do.

 

One thing OP asked is kind of profound, per this digression: Does she like me or is she just bored? I'd say both. Liking people we hardly know, crushing on people we hardly know—there is generally a correlation between the level of like and the level of boredom. Doesn't mean something real can't blossom from that place, but it's always worth remembering. Takes the pressure off the whole thing, regardless of the age.

 

I was 16 once, either a million years ago or yesterday. Much as things do change from those years, I find a lot stays the same when it comes to the jitters, what's behind them, where they can go, and how to stay steady in all that.

Fair enough blue, but for me, it wasn't necessary to ask his age.

 

I got the very strong sense he was still in high school from reading his posts - not only because he said he knows her from school but also from the way he expressed and articulated himself in his posts, he sounded very much like a young boy.

 

I could be wrong of course, but that was my sense and I advised accordingly.

 

And, if he is still in high school, I have no doubt that once he starts maturing, and becomes a man, he will have learned a few things and view things quite differently.

 

The women will also be different, how they respond to him will be different -- it's all a growing and learning experience.

Guys, the OP has left the building a month ago and only has 3 posts. Instead of hashing this back and forth lets see if he bothers to come back and respond.

Let's talk to Sixers in a few years, when he's burnt out on the lock-changing drama queens and gets tired of turning to an anonymous website to process why the girls who seemed into chasing him go cold in a few weeks (but—news alert!—still look at Snap stories).

 

I don't think much has changed.

 

Girls/women learn from a very young age that most men are prideful, passive, fear-driven, thin-skinned dunces who are flat-out petrified of women and immune to understanding that they are the same species—at least until around age 30, often older, sometimes never. In the 50s they "chased" by batting eyes across the dance floor, hoping the dude by the punch bowl would, you know, man up and ask her to get a milkshake. Today they text, slide into DMs, watch stories, comment on stories with emojis and so on, with much the same hopes.

 

It's all a bit more forward and faster-moving now, for sure, but it ain't a paradigm shift.

My advice about women is pretty spot on. you keep saying coming to a website to a bunch of strangers, but isn't that what you've been doing?.... as for myself.. I came here because I thought that maybe I was being TO PASSIVE with women.. its never a bad thing to get others opinion... what I have come to learn is that a man should "chase" for the first couple of dates... once the women starts to feel safe and comfortable with the guy and starts to call/txt him first, then the guys pursuit is pretty much over... feminine energy is all about bonding, connecting, and opening up to receive love... its natural for a women to do more of the pursing than the guy..

 

...feminine energy is all about bonding, connecting, and opening up to receive love... its natural for a women to do more of the pursing than the guy..

 

Don't tell me, Corey Wayne right?

 

I've listened to a few of his videos, and recall him saying the same exact thing -- like exactly!

 

Does this work for you sixers?

 

Not judging at all, promise, just wondering if this mind frame works for you, has served you well in your dating experiences.

Don't tell me, Corey Wayne right?

 

I've listened to a few of his videos, and recall him saying the same exact thing -- like exactly!

 

Does this work for you sixers?

 

Not judging at all, promise, just wondering if this mind frame works for you, has served you well in your dating experiences.

LOL..no, not Corey Wayne, but I have watched a couple of his videos. I don't recall him saying that. I got it from a book called The Way Of the Superior Man... A book that all men must read..... and yes, in all my long term relationships that's what the women have done.. they call me more then i do..they txt me more than I do.. they want to hug me..kiss me..hold me just a little more than me...its beautiful to see.. I had one women tell me... " I really like you, your so easy to get along with.. your not needy like the other guys, and that turns me on"..... its natural...