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Losing interest


searcy

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I’ve been with my now fiancé for three and a half years on and off and he has been living with me for about 3 months we spend ever day together but it’s starting to feel like he’s losing interest we don’t talk like we used to you can just feel the space between us he gets fad easily and try’s to break up with me but here lately I don’t know if he’s pulling away or what but it’s started to make me question my feelings I don’t know if it’s me or him at this point ?

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Ask him to move out. He's not your 'fiance" if it's chronically on/off and he constantly threatens to break up. It's just a conflicted toxic relationship. You are fortunate to see his true colors after only 3 mos. It will be a living hell if you continue to live together.

 

He sounds a tad emotionally abusive. Read up on that topic and see of the shoe fits.

I’ve been with my now fiancé for three and a half years

on and off and he has been living with me for about 3 months

 

he gets fad easily and try’s to break up with me

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We are more on than off really we only really broke up twice

We both decided that we wanted to take our relationship to the next level of him moving in with me and we are in the works of moving out together on our on

 

Break up once, fine! Break up twice, done and dusted!

I’m all for forgiving once , but twice is just foolish!

It’s not working!!!

 

There is nothing in your post that suggests abuse as per another poster (people on here tend to resort to catastrophic thinking at times and suggest therapy because they feel like that’s what a professional would do lol) but there is a lot to suggest you should not proceed with this relationship)

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Back to the topic. Reconsider this relationship.

 

This "other poster" suggested reading up on it to see if that may be the case.. Please stop misquoting my posts. Please stop disrespecting other posters' opinions and sound advice with your characterization that "people on here resort to catastrophic thinking", etc.

per another poster (people on here tend to resort to catastrophic thinking at times and suggest therapy because they feel like that’s what a professional would do lol)
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It seems there are problems that extend far deeper than simply him losing interest now, OP.

 

You two don't have a solid foundation for a marriage if you've already broken up twice and he's continuously threatening to break up again. Who decided it was a good idea to make this relationship permanent through marriage? I can't see how you'll make it to the altar like this.

 

How old are you both, and when is the wedding supposed to take place? Why did you break up in the past?

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Before you form any opinions on your relationship, you might want to check in with each other and speak honestly about your feelings and how you feel regarding specific issues. This doesn't sound to me like a situation that's happened overnight. If you both started living together out of necessity (financial duress for example) and are now finding it a bit of a reality check and not what you imagined, talk about it. Living together is not always easy and in the beginning it can be downright difficult. To me, it seems like there are other big issues at play whether it's insecurities regarding infidelities, financial health, employment issues, family issues or mental/physical health issues and respect is lacking. Talk about it.

 

Three years dating is enough time to sense when something is wrong (to know in your partner when and what is usually wrong) and know that you should be dealing with what's going on (both of you). It's not enough to turn away from each other, make empty threats (emotionally manipulate) or roll away in bed. Neither of you deserve that and it shouldn't develop into a habit. Neither of you are valuing or honouring each other when you express those behaviours. Own up to that and start being a bit more proactive and communicative with each other. If you struggle, so be it. Struggle through a difficult conversation together and don't be afraid.

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If you and your fiance are drifting apart after 3 years, don't get married otherwise it will not be happy, holy matrimony.

 

Either work on your relationship with him now and resolve this or seriously consider breaking up and going your separate ways. Be realistic.

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