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Thread: Girl seems to be going quiet and not eager to meet up again after 3 dates

  1. #1
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    Girl seems to be going quiet and not eager to meet up again after 3 dates

    I met a girl in a bar early may, got talking and she gave me her number. For the first few weeks it was going really well, eager back and forth messages and she seemed really keen. We met up twice in May and bounced off each others company really well, and then met a third time a couple of weeks back (Sunday 9th june) for a meal and few drinks and again it seemed to go great. Took it quite steady but did end up making out at the end of the night which would make you think she was interested.

    But then since this meet up, certainly in the past week or so, things appear to have gone really off with messages and she also seems to be ducking any chances to meet up.

    In terms of the messages, for the first few weeks as I mentioned it was back and forth and we'd often get in to long chats on a night. But for the past week or so I've been getting maybe 2/3 a day from her, and shes been giving excuses like 'sorry thought I'd replied to this'. Plus shes often quite blunt now I.e if I ask how works gone she'll just reply 'good thank you x' rather than before when she'd tell me a story from her day and also ask about mine.

    Since we first got talking it's been stop and start as she went on holiday for the first week of June, and then for the week after our last meet up which was 8th june, she went to a festival and only came back last monday. But since shes been back you'd think she'd be eager to see me having not met up for a couple of weeks, but she doesnt seem bothered. At the start of this week I invited her round to mine on wednesday night as my parents were out so I was home alone, to which she said no because she 'had work next day', and then this weekend to which she said she cant as shes decorating. She stated to leave it with her and she'll get back to me with another time but its been 5 days now and she hasn't, which makes me think she obvs doesnt want to meet up.

    Unless we meet up by next wednesday then that means we'll have only seen either other once in the past month, which was that sunday for about 3 hours. It's hardly the basis to build a relationship is it?

    I really dont know what to do because the last meet up a couple of Sundays back was amazing and I dont know what's happened since to make her suddenly go so off?

  2. #2
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    She's not interested, sorry.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Cope's Avatar
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    Yeah, sorry, she doesn't seem interested. The ball is in her court, but I wouldn't count on it. I'd move on.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this happened. Unfortunately after 3 dates people may still be meeting others and things can simply peter out for no apparent reason. Just lay back and see if she contacts you. Also you can't build rapport through texting. You need to go out on dates at least one a week.

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  6. #5
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    She's lost interest, unfortunately.

    It might not have been anything you did, either. She could have an ex lingering in the background or seeing someone else altogether. I would consider this one done and dusted, though.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Speaking for myself, if a guy I was interested in asked for a date and I couldn't go, I would always give him an alternate date. She rejected both of your invites without suggesting anything within the next few weeks. She is being cowardly by not bluntly telling you she's no longer interested and hoping you'll figure out by her rejection of dates and brief replies that she's moving on. Don't put anymore energy into this dead end and move on yourself. Fate has someone else in store for you.

  8. #7
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    Iíd move on, donít text her anymore. You probably wonít know why she lost interest, maybe there was no real reason. It just happens, unfortunately.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    This is exactly how dating goes. If you get past the first date, you meet up few times more and you give it the opportunity to see if there is any chemistry. The kind of chemistry needed to create a relationship.

    A handful of dates and she is backing up. That's your queue that it isn't a love connection for her.

    You don't know what to do? What is her absence and lack of response telling you? It's telling you its a no-go.

    Try not to take it personally. We never know why someone went dark on us. Most people aren't our `one' and for all you know she reconciled with an ex or was dating someone else at the same time who she found better suited for her. It's ok, you should too.

    Shake it off. It doesn't take anything away from you.

  10. #9
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    She's just not falling for you and probably never will. There could be 100's of possible reasons why, but at the end of the day, she's just not into you.

    You really don't have a relationship until things go perfect for two months. Obviously things stalled before that. Three dates in 6 weeks is a little slow anyway, that spells trouble right there.

  11. #10
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    Ok so since this initial post we met up last Wednesday for a meal, and also have another date this Saturday as well as a horse racing event planned the weekend after. I am still having the issue though where-by she is not reply to my messages for hours despite her obviously been on her phone (I can see this by her presence on social media platforms). As an example it is 10pm here (UK time) and I have only received 2 messages today. I sent her one about 5 hours ago trying to iron out some of the details for this weekend and she hasn't responded despite posting on facebook and snapchat.

    I really don't know what to think, if she wasn't interested surely she wouldn't keep meeting up with me? But why the hours of no responding when the messages used to be back and forth? It's been like this maybe a couple of weeks now where I have only been receiving like 2-3 messages a day.

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